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Aaron's UnReal Time Smackd...Oh Wait...No It's Not...
By Aaron Wood
Here's the deal,
people. Due to the (quite close to
live) element of Smackdown tonight, we in the UK, for it's first airing, are
currently being treated to a "Best Of Wrestlemania" show front by
both Josh Matthews & Jack Korpela.
Yes, they can exist in the same space-time continuum. However according to my goggle box, I should
get the proper Smackdown show from tomorrow morning, so chances are that some
time then I'll get something up to tell you how they built to this year's
Wrestlemania. Not go over ground I have
been for the last 2 months.
But to keep you nicely warm for that show, I thought I'd take the chance to do some Wrestlemania predictions for Sunday! WWE Title Triple H vs. Randy Orton I honestly don't get all the love for Stephanie turning, as there has been by various commentators on the Internet, including our own fabulous Mallory Mahling, because if any angle deserved taking a dump on, it would be that angle, in my honest opinion. The premise of the angle is that Orton messed with HHH's "real life" family. This angle is supposed to be borne out of reality. We know Orton's married (albeit using an actress). It wouldn't possibly make sense on either a business level (since this angle is supposed to be about the "real life" family) or on a personal level (because we know that HHH & Stephanie and Orton is married in real life, so it'd make no sense for both of them to run off with each other in the pretend land, and no-one would buy it because we know HHH & Stephanie aren't splitting up, until they are about to screw HHH in a move that would make Montreal seem as trivial as a fart. If there were any McMahons that could have turned in this feud, it could have been Vince & Shane, since HHH sold them up the river (albeit logically) when he said he didn't come to their rescues because they could handle themselves on the basis of him not showing family loyalty, but that is obviously out the window, since they were clearly on his side against Legacy when they returned on Monday. With regards to this match, it's almost forgotten (even though it was only announced on Monday) that hanging over HHH's head is the idea that if he gets counted out or DQ'ed, he loses the title. There's two ways to read this. Either HHH gets screwed out of the belt or, as they did with that Rock/He-Who-Shan't-Be-Named match from Fully Loaded, he seemingly gets screwed out of the title, only for someone to order a restart with Hunter winning it in the end. I don't actually mind that latter option. because it would give Orton an out and a chance to complain about how he was screwed by the family, potentially even setting up a double turn, where we have McMahon/Helmsley Regime Part Deux, only with the whole lot of them rather than just HHH & Steph. Suffice to say, I can see a Backlash match of a six-man tag with the McMahons & HHH vs. Legacy. I would suspect that Legacy will come down to the ring during the match. Vince & Shane will get involved and neutralise the, but it leads to HHH getting DQ'ed cheaply, only for Steph to come back (she was only DDT'ed after all and she recovered quick enough from the RKO) and make an executive order for the match to begin again. I know the flaw with my own idea is that I'm making Orton the underdog here, and essentially the babyface, but that's what's going to logically happen when you involve the McMahon's as a unit, because there's nothing they can't logically do to swing things in their favour. Predicted Winner - Triple H World Title Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show This one is a tough one, because there's no obvious option here. You could say that Cena was the "obvious" choice, and he may well be, but I can see HHH being moved back to RAW in the draft that's upcoming the week after Mania, and Smackdown's still going to need a champion, so personally, my first instinct is to say that it should be either Edge or Big Show, unless they're willing to send Cena to Smackdown. Plus, if the idea moving forward is about the winner getting Vickie's heart, then Cena doesn't exactly fit into that, because it's not as if it's a mandatory stipulation that Vickie boffs the winner. She clearly said it in the context that her belief was that only Edge & Show had a chance of winning. She's not immediately gonna put out for Cena just because he won. Personally, I'd go with Big Show. There's two reasons for this. While I would be the first to say that there's been far too many title changes recently, including two at the last PPV, I wouldn't do a Wrestlemania where both main titles were retained. It wouldn't be a gyp as a matter of course, but it'd be like one to me. Secondly, assuming that Vickie goes off with the winner, the loser of the pair essentially has to be, at the very least, a tweener, if not a babyface, and I'd prefer Edge in that role with Big Show as the big bad giant with the authority figure behind his back. I think this will be a better match than most are predicting, as Cena & Edge always work well and I haven't been as appalled by Edge & Cena's matches with Big Show as some have. They weren't exactly great, but they weren't exactly supposed to be pulling out the stops either and for what they were, I thought they were fine enough. Predicted Winner - Big Show The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels The Undertaker. Next! ... Oh, do I have to say more? (JG: Yes, you do...) OK then, if a tree falls in a forest and no-one is around to see it happen, does it make a sound? Similarly, can a match "steal" a show if it's the most anticipated match on the card? I ask because I've seen some people say that Taker & HBK are guaranteed to steal the show, only to then act as if it was the main event of the thing. To me, a "show stealer" is a match that you don't expect exceptional things from and/or isn't that important, such as the next match I'll talk about (don't scroll down if you don't want to be spoiled...I know how some of you hate spoilers). This one will rock, but is the result in any doubt whatsoever? For all the criticism, rightfully or wrongfully, placed on the HHH/Orton feud, at least it wasn't booked to the point where it was so one-sided it was so telegraphed that the guy who had been coming out on top had to get their comeuppance, because that's how it's been with the HBK & Taker feud, never mind the fact that Undertaker doesn't lose at Wrestlemania, can as I say annually, can't lose the streak because it's his legacy on the WWE Universe. Predicted Winner - The Undertaker Extreme Rules Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy Now THIS is a match that could steal the show. It's a feud that has almost been forgotten about in the build. The only match people remember was 8 years ago and didn't set the world alight and to be frank, I think that the last month has seen the feud tank, with Jeff getting easy wins in Extreme Rules matches while Matt has had one close regular match, when it should clearly have been the other way round with a vicious Matt getting squashes while a distracted Jeff eeks out the victory. However, even though I'm an atheist, I have faith. I have faith in Matt & Jeff being able to pull off something pretty damn great, ironically thanks to the Extreme Rules stip. And if you think having a Money In The Ladder Bank match precludes them from doing a big ladder spot, then frankly, I think you are woefully mistaken. Indeed, I think that was the whole point to giving their first match a stipulation that makes it seem like the blowoff. To do a big ladder spot. The only way I can't see them using a ladder is if the ladder match comes later on in the show than they do, and to be honest, I see the ladder match being second on, as it has been for three of it's four year existence. Not that Matt & Jeff should do an out and out stunt show. That would be too close to the MITB match. But they are certainly far better all round workers than they were 8 years ago, so it would be nice to see that reflected in the match. Now, if I were booking it, I'd have Matt win it, because Jeff winning it kinda kills the feud and badly hurts Matt. I'd then have Matt get another win, and then in a final match, with a stip, I'd give Jeff the big win and then start their separate pushes. However, with that said, I can only see Jeff winning this, I'm afraid. Then again, without giving too much away, I seem to have a lot of babyfaces winning, so maybe there's hope... That said, if the ladder spot I'm banking on was particularly spectacular, I'd quite happily live with a No Contest on the basis of them almost killing each other. Predicted Winner - Jeff Hardy Money In The Bank Ladder Match CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston There's a reason why every time I've written these names out either, in full or in part, I've left Kofi's name last. I keep forgetting he exists! Which pretty much sums up why I don't think he'll win. Suffice to say, with this field, no matter who wins it, unless the case is stolen off of them, we're gonna have our first failure to successfully cash the title shot in. However, here are my thoughts on the other guys: Kane: Possible winner simply because he's always there or thereabouts. Would be a complete waste though, because it doesn't even elevate him. CM Punk: I think a lot of people are sleeping on Punk for this match. He won it unexpectedly last year, and it actually did him wonders and then he won the title and got bigger. It could be a good way to keep him around that level until an opportunity presented itself later in the year to bring him back into the fold. Christian: The natural favourite for the match, I think, since a proper push is due on one of the 2 main shows once the draft is done. Plus, since this match has genuinely pushed people over the top (people do conveniently seem to forget that when it comes to this match, that it put everyone who won it (including Kennedy) on a higher level than they were before), I think Christian is the prime guy to get that shove over the top. He's got mic skills, has worked hard in the ring since returning and has bags of charisma. The guy everyone seems to be making favourite, Shelton Benjamin, only has one of those attributes, and even then, sometime he can phone in the work rate. Shelton Benjamin: While I'm talking about him. People have said that since he lost the US Title, that was a marker that he was being prepped for a MITB win without the burden of the US Title at the same time, somehow conveniently forgetting that CM Punk lost the IC Title only 8 days earlier, so that reasoning doesn't jive with me, because out of the two of them, Punk is the better recent title loser. Mark Henry: Erm... Finlay: Uhh... MVP: If Shelton Benjamin not having the US Title makes him an apparent favourite, where does that exactly place the current US Champion in the list? Predicted Winner - Christian Lumberjack match - WWE & World Tag Titles The Miz & John Morrison vs. The Colons This was my personal possible "show stealer" until they announced the lumberjack stip, which does put the handcuffs on it somewhat, although with that said, I still think it should be just gangbusters, because most of the matches thus far have been really good. Tough to pick as winner as well, because it could honestly go either way. The only way I could make a definitive guess would be if it was confirmed if, going forward, there is only ever going to be one set of tag champions or if it's like being WWE & IC Champion at the same time, in that they can separately defend a single set of belts while the other one is safe. If there's only one set of tag champs going forward, then Miz & Morrison have to win, because they work on RAW for their personalities as well as their work rate, while I think the Colons would struggle a little as the main focus on both shows. Plus, being the unified champs would suggest that they could get drafted together and Miz & Morrison need not only to stay together but end up officially on RAW or Smackdown, even if they are able to float around. The Colons, while I don't think they should split, could afford to, since Eric Escobar seems to be on the verge of coming up, since he's on the dark match & house show circuit, and either Colon, although Primo especially since they've tagged in the past, could join up with him. However, if it's a case of the winners being double champions, it could go either way since they never last too long anyway and they'd drop of on the belts soon enough. Plus, if we follow the Bobby Lashley logic, moving off brand would mean they give up that show's belts anyway. However, since Miz & Morrison are better all round, cooler and are MA BOYZ~!, I'm plumping for them. Plus, the heels have to win something, surely??? Predicted Winners - Miz & Morrison "Miss Wrestlemania" 25 Diva Battle Royal Right, so first of all, here are the returnees confirmed (so far) Victoria Jackie Gayda-Haas Torrie Wilson Sunny (In awesome news for our own Mike Rickard) Nidia And the wonderful, fantastic, amazing, astonishing, marvellous, miraculous, astounding, fantastical, incredible, phenomenal, stupendous, unbelievable, wondrous only-woman-greater-than-The-Liz, MOLLY MOTHERF**KING HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, the WWE has, thanks to Gail Kim's re-debut this side of Mania, 19 women on the active roster. Alicia Fox, Beth, Brie Bella, Candice, Eve, Gail Kim, Jillian Hall, Katie Lea, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Melina, Michelle, Mickie, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes & Tiffany. That would be 25, right? Well, only possibly. Candice wasn't involved on Monday, as it's possible that she's still out, although she was due back in the middle of last month. Bryan Alvarez & F4W seem convinced that Vickie Guerrero will be taking part. I had heard she was learning to take bumps, but otherwise... You'd have though that Trish would be involved. While Santino officially failed to get in the match when he lost to Mickie, you'd still think he'd have a part to play. Picking a winner is like Canadian Bulldog trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Difficult. You would think it's Maryse or Melina based on them being the current champions. You'd think it might be Beth since she'd be the biggest. You could go for Gail, since she's effectively the newest and could do with the rub. Mickie is the most dependable at the moment in terms of service & longevity to the company. You could pick Sunny since she would be the most nostalgic pick. it could be Molly, simply because she's the greatest woman who ever lived. Since it largely doesn't mean much, it could be anyone, so I'll take Molly here, but no-one I've mentioned would surprise. Predicted Winner - Molly Holly Intercontinental Title JBL vs. Rey Mysterio So, what's JBL's big historic event at Mania that he's been hinting at? Personally, I suspect that that idea, within WWE, has been dropped, and the IWC is still lingering on it, unless it's retiring as champion. And if it's that, are we going to be talking about it next month, let alone next year? That said, with Rey winning on Monday night, I'm guessing that JBL will be retaining on Sunday, although it doesn't really make much sense if he's retiring, unless they're planning another tournament. We'll have to see what happens, I suppose... Predicted Winner - JBL Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka vs. Chris Jericho You have to say that this match, is effectively a letdown, since it's not a big name facing Jericho, but I'd have to imagine whatever they planned didn't come off. That said, there IS hope. Ricky Steamboat is apparently claiming that he's about 80% of what he was. And 80% of Ricky Steamboat would still be better than many workers today, quite frankly. With that in mind, and the stips announced on Monday, I think the booking is clear. Snuka gets pinned first in a few minutes. Piper goes a few minutes later. Then Jericho & Steamboat go at it for another 5-8 minutes, Flair and/or Rourke pop Jericho and it leads to the finish with Steamboat winning for the legends. Predicted Winners - Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka So that's who I'm thinking will win at Wrestlemania. See you tomorrow for, literally, your regularly scheduled programming...
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...
Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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| All content contained here Copyright 2010 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
