From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
Aaron's UnReal Time Smackd...Oh Wait...No It's Not...
By Aaron Wood
Apr 3, 2009 - 7:30 PM
Here's the deal,
people. Due to the (quite close to
live) element of Smackdown tonight, we in the UK, for it's first airing, are
currently being treated to a "Best Of Wrestlemania" show front by
both Josh Matthews & Jack Korpela.
Yes, they can exist in the same space-time continuum. However according to my goggle box, I should
get the proper Smackdown show from tomorrow morning, so chances are that some
time then I'll get something up to tell you how they built to this year's
Wrestlemania. Not go over ground I have
been for the last 2 months.
But to keep you
nicely warm for that show, I thought I'd take the chance to do some
Wrestlemania predictions for Sunday!
WWE
Title
Triple H vs.
Randy Orton
I honestly don't
get all the love for Stephanie turning, as there has been by various
commentators on the Internet, including our own fabulous Mallory Mahling,
because if any angle deserved taking a dump on, it would be that angle, in my
honest opinion.
The premise of
the angle is that Orton messed with HHH's "real life" family. This
angle is supposed to be borne out of reality. We know Orton's married (albeit
using an actress). It wouldn't possibly make sense on either a business level
(since this angle is supposed to be about the "real life" family) or
on a personal level (because we know that HHH & Stephanie and Orton is
married in real life, so it'd make no sense for both of them to run off with
each other in the pretend land, and no-one would buy it because we know HHH &
Stephanie aren't splitting up, until they are about to screw HHH in a move that
would make Montreal seem as trivial as a fart.
If there were
any McMahons that could have turned in this feud, it could have been Vince
& Shane, since HHH sold them up the river (albeit logically) when he said
he didn't come to their rescues because they could handle themselves on the
basis of him not showing family loyalty, but that is obviously out the window,
since they were clearly on his side against Legacy when they returned on
Monday.
With regards to
this match, it's almost forgotten (even though it was only announced on Monday)
that hanging over HHH's head is the idea that if he gets counted out or DQ'ed,
he loses the title. There's two ways to
read this. Either HHH gets screwed out
of the belt or, as they did with that Rock/He-Who-Shan't-Be-Named match from
Fully Loaded, he seemingly gets screwed out of the title, only for someone to
order a restart with Hunter winning it in the end.
I don't actually
mind that latter option. because it would give Orton an out and a chance to
complain about how he was screwed by the family, potentially even setting up a
double turn, where we have McMahon/Helmsley Regime Part Deux, only with the
whole lot of them rather than just HHH & Steph.
Suffice to say,
I can see a Backlash match of a six-man tag with the McMahons & HHH vs.
Legacy. I would suspect that Legacy
will come down to the ring during the match.
Vince & Shane will get involved and neutralise the, but it leads to
HHH getting DQ'ed cheaply, only for Steph to come back (she was only DDT'ed
after all and she recovered quick enough from the RKO) and make an executive
order for the match to begin again.
I know the flaw
with my own idea is that I'm making Orton the underdog here, and essentially
the babyface, but that's what's going to logically happen when you involve the McMahon's as a unit, because there's
nothing they can't logically do to swing things in their favour.
Predicted
Winner - Triple H
World
Title
Edge vs. John
Cena vs. Big Show
This one is a
tough one, because there's no obvious option here. You could say that Cena was the "obvious" choice, and
he may well be, but I can see HHH being moved back to RAW in the draft that's
upcoming the week after Mania, and Smackdown's still going to need a champion,
so personally, my first instinct is to say that it should be either Edge or Big
Show, unless they're willing to send Cena to Smackdown.
Plus, if the
idea moving forward is about the winner getting Vickie's heart, then Cena
doesn't exactly fit into that, because it's not as if it's a mandatory
stipulation that Vickie boffs the winner.
She clearly said it in the context that her belief was that only Edge
& Show had a chance of winning.
She's not immediately gonna put out for Cena just because he
won.
Personally, I'd
go with Big Show. There's two reasons
for this. While I would be the first to
say that there's been far too many title changes recently, including two at the
last PPV, I wouldn't do a Wrestlemania where both main titles were
retained. It wouldn't be a gyp as a
matter of course, but it'd be like one to me.
Secondly, assuming that Vickie goes off with the winner, the loser of
the pair essentially has to be, at the very least, a tweener, if not a
babyface, and I'd prefer Edge in that role with Big Show as the big bad giant
with the authority figure behind his back.
I think this
will be a better match than most are predicting, as Cena & Edge always work
well and I haven't been as appalled by Edge & Cena's matches with Big Show
as some have. They weren't exactly
great, but they weren't exactly supposed to be pulling out the stops either and
for what they were, I thought they were fine enough.
Predicted
Winner - Big Show
The
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
The
Undertaker. Next!
...
Oh, do I have to
say more?
(JG: Yes, you do...) OK then, if a tree falls in a forest and
no-one is around to see it happen, does it make a sound? Similarly, can a match "steal" a
show if it's the most anticipated match on the card? I ask because I've seen some people say that Taker & HBK are
guaranteed to steal the show, only to then act as if it was the main event of
the thing. To me, a "show
stealer" is a match that you don't expect exceptional things from and/or
isn't that important, such as the next match I'll talk about (don't scroll down
if you don't want to be spoiled...I know how some of you hate
spoilers).
This one will
rock, but is the result in any doubt whatsoever? For all the criticism, rightfully or wrongfully, placed on the
HHH/Orton feud, at least it wasn't booked to the point where it was so
one-sided it was so telegraphed that the guy who had been coming out on top had
to get their comeuppance, because that's how it's been with the HBK & Taker
feud, never mind the fact that Undertaker doesn't lose at Wrestlemania, can as
I say annually, can't lose the streak because it's his legacy on the WWE
Universe.
Predicted
Winner - The Undertaker
Extreme
Rules
Matt Hardy vs.
Jeff Hardy
Now THIS is a
match that could steal the show. It's a
feud that has almost been forgotten about in the build. The only match people remember was 8 years
ago and didn't set the world alight and to be frank, I think that the last
month has seen the feud tank, with Jeff getting easy wins in Extreme Rules
matches while Matt has had one close regular match, when it should clearly have
been the other way round with a vicious Matt getting squashes while a
distracted Jeff eeks out the victory.
However, even
though I'm an atheist, I have faith. I
have faith in Matt & Jeff being able to pull off something pretty damn
great, ironically thanks to the Extreme Rules stip. And if you think having a Money In The Ladder Bank match
precludes them from doing a big ladder spot, then frankly, I think you are woefully
mistaken. Indeed, I think that was the
whole point to giving their first match a stipulation that makes it seem like
the blowoff. To do a big ladder spot. The only way I can't see them using a ladder
is if the ladder match comes later on in the show than they do, and to be
honest, I see the ladder match being second on, as it has been for three of
it's four year existence. Not that Matt
& Jeff should do an out and out stunt show. That would be too close to the MITB match. But they are certainly far better all round
workers than they were 8 years ago, so it would be nice to see that reflected
in the match.
Now, if I were
booking it, I'd have Matt win it, because Jeff winning it kinda kills the feud
and badly hurts Matt. I'd then have Matt
get another win, and then in a final match, with a stip, I'd give Jeff the big
win and then start their separate pushes.
However, with that said, I can only see Jeff winning this, I'm afraid. Then again, without giving too much away, I
seem to have a lot of babyfaces winning, so maybe there's hope... That said, if the ladder spot I'm banking on
was particularly spectacular, I'd quite happily live with a No Contest on the
basis of them almost killing each other.
Predicted
Winner - Jeff Hardy
Money
In The Bank Ladder Match
CM Punk vs.
Finlay vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Christian vs.
Kofi Kingston
There's a reason
why every time I've written these names out either, in full or in part, I've
left Kofi's name last. I keep
forgetting he exists! Which pretty much
sums up why I don't think he'll win.
Suffice to say,
with this field, no matter who wins it, unless the case is stolen off of them,
we're gonna have our first failure to successfully cash the title shot in. However, here are my thoughts on the other
guys:
Kane: Possible winner simply because he's always
there or thereabouts. Would be a
complete waste though, because it doesn't even elevate him.
CM Punk: I think a lot of people are sleeping on Punk
for this match. He won it unexpectedly
last year, and it actually did him wonders and then he won the title and got
bigger. It could be a good way to keep
him around that level until an opportunity presented itself later in the year
to bring him back into the fold.
Christian: The natural favourite for the match, I
think, since a proper push is due on one of the 2 main shows once the draft is
done. Plus, since this match has
genuinely pushed people over the top (people do conveniently seem to forget
that when it comes to this match, that it put everyone who won it (including
Kennedy) on a higher level than they were before), I think Christian is the
prime guy to get that shove over the top.
He's got mic skills, has worked hard in the ring since returning and has
bags of charisma. The guy everyone
seems to be making favourite, Shelton Benjamin, only has one of those
attributes, and even then, sometime he can phone in the work rate.
Shelton
Benjamin: While I'm talking about
him. People have said that since he
lost the US Title, that was a marker that he was being prepped for a MITB win
without the burden of the US Title at the same time, somehow conveniently
forgetting that CM Punk lost the IC Title only 8 days earlier, so that
reasoning doesn't jive with me, because out of the two of them, Punk is the
better recent title loser.
Mark Henry: Erm...
Finlay: Uhh...
MVP: If Shelton Benjamin not having the US Title
makes him an apparent favourite, where does that exactly place the current US
Champion in the list?
Predicted
Winner - Christian
Lumberjack
match - WWE & World Tag Titles
The Miz &
John Morrison vs. The Colons
This was my
personal possible "show stealer" until they announced the lumberjack
stip, which does put the handcuffs on it somewhat, although with that said, I
still think it should be just gangbusters, because most of the matches thus far
have been really good. Tough to pick as
winner as well, because it could honestly go either way. The only way I could make a definitive guess
would be if it was confirmed if, going forward, there is only ever going to be
one set of tag champions or if it's like being WWE & IC Champion at the
same time, in that they can separately defend a single set of belts while the
other one is safe.
If there's only
one set of tag champs going forward, then Miz & Morrison have to win,
because they work on RAW for their personalities as well as their work rate,
while I think the Colons would struggle a little as the main focus on both
shows. Plus, being the unified champs
would suggest that they could get drafted together and Miz & Morrison need
not only to stay together but end up officially on RAW or Smackdown, even if
they are able to float around. The
Colons, while I don't think they should split, could afford to, since Eric
Escobar seems to be on the verge of coming up, since he's on the dark match
& house show circuit, and either Colon, although Primo especially since
they've tagged in the past, could join up with him.
However, if it's
a case of the winners being double champions, it could go either way since they
never last too long anyway and they'd drop of on the belts soon enough. Plus, if we follow the Bobby Lashley logic,
moving off brand would mean they give up that show's belts anyway. However, since Miz & Morrison are better
all round, cooler and are MA BOYZ~!, I'm plumping for them. Plus, the heels have to win something,
surely???
Predicted
Winners - Miz & Morrison
"Miss
Wrestlemania" 25 Diva Battle Royal
Right, so first
of all, here are the returnees confirmed (so far)
Victoria
Jackie
Gayda-Haas
Torrie
Wilson
Sunny
(In awesome news
for our own Mike Rickard) Nidia
And the
wonderful, fantastic, amazing, astonishing, marvellous, miraculous, astounding,
fantastical, incredible, phenomenal, stupendous, unbelievable, wondrous
only-woman-greater-than-The-Liz,
MOLLY MOTHERF**KING
HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, the WWE
has, thanks to Gail Kim's re-debut this side of Mania, 19 women on the active
roster. Alicia Fox, Beth, Brie Bella,
Candice, Eve, Gail Kim, Jillian Hall, Katie Lea, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria,
Maryse, Melina, Michelle, Mickie, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes &
Tiffany.
That would be
25, right? Well, only possibly. Candice wasn't involved on Monday, as it's
possible that she's still out, although she was due back in the middle of last
month. Bryan Alvarez & F4W seem
convinced that Vickie Guerrero will be taking part. I had heard she was learning to take bumps, but otherwise... You'd have though that Trish would be
involved. While Santino officially
failed to get in the match when he lost to Mickie, you'd still think he'd have
a part to play.
Picking a winner
is like Canadian Bulldog trying to shoot fish in a barrel. Difficult.
You would think it's Maryse or Melina based on them being the current
champions. You'd think it might be Beth
since she'd be the biggest. You could
go for Gail, since she's effectively the newest and could do with the rub. Mickie is the most dependable at the moment
in terms of service & longevity to the company. You could pick Sunny since she would be the most nostalgic
pick. it could be Molly, simply because
she's the greatest woman who ever lived.
Since it largely doesn't mean much, it could be anyone, so I'll take
Molly here, but no-one I've mentioned would surprise.
Predicted
Winner - Molly Holly
Intercontinental
Title
JBL vs. Rey
Mysterio
So, what's JBL's
big historic event at Mania that he's been hinting at? Personally, I suspect that that idea, within
WWE, has been dropped, and the IWC is still lingering on it, unless it's
retiring as champion. And if it's that,
are we going to be talking about it next month, let alone next year?
That said, with
Rey winning on Monday night, I'm guessing that JBL will be retaining on Sunday,
although it doesn't really make much sense if he's retiring, unless they're
planning another tournament. We'll have
to see what happens, I suppose...
Predicted
Winner - JBL
Ricky
Steamboat, Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka vs. Chris Jericho
You have to say
that this match, is effectively a letdown, since it's not a big name facing
Jericho, but I'd have to imagine whatever they planned didn't come off. That said, there IS hope. Ricky Steamboat is apparently claiming that
he's about 80% of what he was. And 80%
of Ricky Steamboat would still be better than many workers today, quite
frankly. With that in mind, and the
stips announced on Monday, I think the booking is clear.
Snuka gets
pinned first in a few minutes. Piper
goes a few minutes later. Then Jericho
& Steamboat go at it for another 5-8 minutes, Flair and/or Rourke pop
Jericho and it leads to the finish with Steamboat winning for the
legends.
Predicted
Winners - Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka
So that's who
I'm thinking will win at Wrestlemania.
See you tomorrow for, literally, your regularly scheduled programming...
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