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Aaron's UnReal Time TNA House Show Revi...Wait...WHAT???

By Aaron Wood
Jan 29, 2010 - 8:03 PM


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Ironically enough, as had long been pointed out, a lyric from the theme to the show I normally do tonight goes "Do you really wanna cross the line?".  Now, as it goes, I went to the TNA House Show in Manchester last year, and really enjoyed it.  Almost to the point where you would think I was a fan.  But hey, one look at the following week's TV show just helped me come to my senses and I was back to "TNA sucks".  But hey, as much as the TV did suck before Hogan and still, frankly, sucks after Hogan, they don't "book" house shows in the same way with any real kind of bulls**t.

That said, THEY TRIED TO TONIGHT, as you will read.

Overall, this was, once again, a really fun show with some really, really good matches.  But let's start at the beginning.  Are you ready children (and any of you who are adults)?  Then we shall begin.

Unlike last year, I had a ticket to attend the "Fan Interaction" session they held before the doors opened to the proletariat.  I have to admit, it was bigger than I thought it would be in terms of numbers.  I thought it might be a hundred people.  Two hundred tops.  But there had to be around double even that.  We were taken around the bowels of the building into the backstage area, where they had a small merchandise stall set up and a line laid out around to some tables with various wrestlers.  They were, in order, JB, Earl Hebner, D'Angelo Dinero, Hernandez, The British Invasion and finally The Beautiful People.  I missed Sabin not being there, if for nothing that I could have provided our wonderful Impact reviewer, Jana Bulloch, with a nice little souvenir. 

Now, when I go to these shows, I do my best not to be a smarky prick and just play along and be respectful.  That said, it is a little odd, after having said "Mr. XXXXX" to everyone to have to say "Mr. Magnus" to Brutus Magnus.  at least I didn't call him Oblivion, his UK Gladiator name.

JB was AWESOME as ever.  I don't want to brag or anything because he meets thousands of fans a year, but I don't know, there was a twinkle in his eye that suggested he recognised me from last year when I met him.  Not to say he knew what went on or anything.  Just that spark of something you have kinda seen before.  It's what I want to think anyway.  Now, from this point on, I don't want to accuse anyone of anything, and hell, these people are just doing the jobs they've been told to do, and I'm sure they were utterly exhausted, so the last thing they needed was to sit as 400 or so people got things signed and pictures taken.  That said, I'm not sure Earl was into it.  Dinero neither.  But then again, Dinero was wearing his facemask, so he could have been smiling underneath, but if he said anything, it was so inaudible, it may have been a grunt.  Hernandez was just as up for it as JB was though, so that was cool.  Doug & Brutus were also pretty pleased to be there.  I bantered with them that they needed a Scotsman in the group, but I'm not sure what Doug's answer of "Salvation Army project" meant.  Rob Terry seemed happy to be there, but tired.  He certainly did the Invasion's pose with me when I got my picture with him.  And then, the ladies.  Madison & Velvet.  Oh, Velvet Sky...  Sigh...  I got them to sign my tickets, to go along with JB and Dixie's autographs on my ticket last year and a picture, thanking them with a quick peck on the cheek in thanks.  I'll keep this review classy and say no more.  Suffice to say though, I'm not washing my lips for a while.

James Storm appeared while I was meeting the wrestlers at the merchandise stall.  I kinda regret not going over to meet him now, as I write this.  I mean, the top people I wanted to meet were Velvet, The MCMG and Beer Money.  However, being a theatre worker myself, I felt for the MEN Arena staff in controlling the people, and there was a bit of a rush on when he was spotted.  However, his "line" did die down, and then Dixie herself appeared with one of the belts (I think it was a tag belt) and there was an even bigger rush for her.  I didn't bother here either, but as is documented, I met her last year, as she was just as hot one year on.

So that was that for Fan Interaction.  Upon leaving the backstage and going round into the main arena, it was clear the production quality was well up on last year.  The screen especially.  It was still an LED screen, rather than a video screen, let alone a high-def one.  But compared to last year, it was a massive improvement.  The lighting was also improved.  The ring was, technically at least, better lit, and the sound was good for an arena.

GREAT seats.  As you may recall in November, when I could have had great seats that would have put on TV for the whole of Smackdown, only to find they numbered the rows the other way round, well, I know the MEN, and do I was on the floor, 4 rows in, SLAP BANG with the centre of the ring.  Good times.  The arena was more blacked off than last year, and even then I thought it looked empty literally minutes before show time.  Indeed, the three seats right beside me hadn't been filled.  However, it must have been a last minute rush, because the seats by me filled up and when I later looked, the place looked fuller.  That said, they'd be lucky to have 5000.  I'd estimate the lower end of 4000.

Anyway, the show began with Borash doing his usual schtick of "The loudest of you will get backstage passes", and to be fair, while I don't recall them showing any or handing any out last year, he certainly had some with them and sent people to give them out.  Anyway, not too long after, we had our opening contest.

The Amazing Red def. Suicide & Chris Sabin in a X-Division Triple Threat match
An obvious choice for an opener, and boy, what an opener!  It was just a bunch of spots, really, but they were mostly perfectly crisp and damned awesome.  One great spot saw Suicide roll up Red and while pinning Red, he gave Sabin a Northern Lights Suplex, pinning him on the bridge as well.  But that was only a 2 count.  The finish saw Suicide take out Sabin, but Red appeared and hit the Code Red on Suicide for the three count.  Wasn't the best Code Red ever, but it did the job.

Rob Terry def. Eric Young to retain the Global Title
Before the match, Eric Young cut a promo on Terry, calling him English (he's Welsh) and that Young was the leader of the World Elite (They still exist???), and Rob had his title, so he could hand it over and be a pussy like other English people, or take a beating.  Terry slugged him in the mouth.  It was a pretty basic match, but I wouldn't actually all it bad.  The fun crowd (as they were hot all night) may have helped.  But still, it was an OK match overall.  Rob won with, as I recall, a powerslam.

Borash announced that Kurt Angle had just entered the building.  It may just be me, but I could swear he said the same thing at the same point in the show with the same person last year, in that Angle had just shown up and wanted top competition, this year getting it in a match with Desmond Wolfe.

D'Angelo Dinero def. Rhino
The Pope was seriously beloved by the crowd.  Rhino was liked too until he cut a promo to heel the crowd, but it didn't entirely work.  This was another perfectly fine, if unspectacular, match that Pope won with the DDE.

And then, at that point, they tried to inject the bulls**t bait and switch.  You see, they had advertised, both on the Internet and on TV, that the Manchester show would have a ladder match, much like the Wembley show tomorrow has an Ultimate X match on the card.  They changed the published line-up a few times, but there was always a ladder match.  So, down came the book to hang the belt and there was a technician with the ladder to put it in the ring.  And then, in another change to the last advertised line up, Daniels, Hernandez and Samoa Joe came out, leaving AJ Styles last.  However, he came out and said that he had spoken to Ric Flair earlier today and his lawyers, and he didn't have to wrestle in a ladder match, and hell, he didn't want to wrestle tonight.  We then heard the voice of Dixie Carter.  I'm not sure where she was in the arena, but I think it was right down the front at ringside, but there were too many people there to see.  Anyway, Dixie said AJ worked for her, and he would work tonight and it would be a title match.  She DIDN'T reinstate the ladder part though.  So it was a Fatal Four-Way match.  But that was not all...

AJ Styles def. Daniels, Hernandez & Samoa Joe to retain the TNA Title
...because while this was officially a four way match, it actually became something of a tag team match, and rather than all four at the same time, there were two in the ring and two on the apron.  And then, after an opening period of randomly tagging each other no matter what, it became more AJ & Daniels vs. Hernandez & Joe, with AJ & Daniels working Herny over, leaving Joe begging for the hot tag!  Not that it was bad tag match, just not the match I was promised until 30 seconds before it actually started.

Look, I can understand them not wanting to kill themselves in a ladder match for a house show, and it certainly got an initially beloved AJ plenty of heel heat.  However, the clear plan was to have a special main event match in each show of the tour.  Everyone else has had theirs.  I doubt Wembley won't get Ultimate X.  Now, as it turned out, you could say we got a special match ourselves for the main, but the point stands that this was pure bait & switch that I don't personally think "card is subject to change" fully excuses.

Anyway, the finish to this one saw Joe take out AJ and then go for the Musclebuster on Daniels.  However, while he had Daniels in position, AJ went low on Joe and then gave Daniels the Styles Clash for the pin.

Intermission time.

We came back from that with JB introducing Dixie, who had someone she spoke to on Twitter.  They tweeting something about Crossing The Line and Dixie mentioned something about a guy whose girlfriend didn't want to come to the show or something like that.  Must admit, I kinda zoned out by that point.

Kurt Angle def. Desmond Wolfe
After Wolfe's intro, he cut a promo saying it was great to be back in England, but not Manchester.  fun point during the match saw him get a LOUD chant of "Chelsea Rent Boy", Chelsea being an area of London (indeed, where he's from) and a Rent Boy, if you don't know, is a male sex worker.  Pretty much like Canadian Bulldog, you get me?  Anyway, this was another really good match from the pair of them as they worked various holds, with Desmond working the arm and Angle the ankle.  However, the finish saw Desmond's Tower Of London countered with an angle slam for the pin.

Taylor Wilde & Sarita def. The Beautiful People (with Hamada as guest referee)
To be honest, I wasn't a fan of the crowd at this point, as it all became rather misogynist.  That said, when one side are supposed to be the hottest of the hotties and the others are about a pair of dungarees away from being lesbians, some might say they were asking for it.  The match was OK, but to be honest, given that Velvet was on my side of the ring, I must admit, my attention slipped a little.  Anyway, the finish came when Velvet and Hamada (who had some of the slowest counts in history) went nose to nose.  Velvet slapped Hamada, so Hamada headbutted her back and Taylor rolled Sky up for the pin.

Main event time was next.

Team 3D def. Beer Money & The British Invasion in a tables match
I think as a make good for earlier, this wasn't originally billed as a tables match until 3D, who entered last, brought a table with them and declared it to be so.  While 3D were certainly over big, Beer Money were BELOVED .  Thunderous chants of "BEER!"  "MONEY!" from opposite sides of the crowd (I was on the Money side of the crowd) for much of this.  To get the heels some heat, before the match, Beer Money teased handing out backstage passes for the loudest yellers of their name, but made the mistake of enlisting Brutus Magnus's help, who tore the passes up.

Anyway, this was a very fun match, worked largely by Beer Money and the Brits, with 3D getting frustrated at not getting in the ring.  However, it all ended up breaking down.  There was a 4-person "Tower Of Doom" spot in there.  the two babyface teams got all their big spots in.  3D eventually won with a 3D on Magnus through the table.  Oddly though, the ref (who was Slick Johnson...IN JEANS!!!) then counted the pin anyway.  In tables match.

After the match, 3D called Beer Money back into the ring.  Ray said Beer Money were the future of tag wrestling.  They then gave away, as they did last year, a piece of the broken table to a little kid, with Beer Money also signing it.  They then called out Dixie and put her over big time (and D-Von wanted to bang her) before they all had beers and the show ended.

As I said, sour note of the bait and switch aside, this was a really fun show.  And as I said last year, as much as the TV and PPV product can generally kiss my grits, the house shows are really fun places to be, and I wouldn't hesitate to go again.

Anyway, because of some minor downloading snafu's, there'll certainly be no Smackdown tonight, and it may be tomorrow afternoon before it gets done.  And early next week, once I've sorted the wheat from the chaff, I'll get some pictures up from the show as well, between photos and some video clips, I used up my whole memory stick before the end of the show.  But anyway, until then, I'll see you soon!

Aaron Wood
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Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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