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Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: Iron Shiek Claims CNN Misquoted Him
By Canadian Bulldog
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News (Atlanta, GA) - World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Famer The Iron Shiek claims CNN misquoted him in a recent documentary about drug usage in professional wrestling. "Stupid c*cksu**ing bastards took Shiek's words out of context!" the former World Champion claimed in an exclusive interview with World Wrestling Insanity News. "I am going to f*cking keel them!" The Shiek, this month's cover subject for 'Incoherent Babbler Quarterly', claims the news network interviewed him about whether he used drugs. Wearing an American flag bandana and an ill-fitting "WWF Attitude" shirt The Shiek stole from a live event in 1997, the network only chose to air a clip in which the wrestler said "I can't tell you that I haven't, but you'll never be able to prove that I have." For the first time ever, what follows is The Shiek's full quote, taken not from videotaped evidence, but rather from the WWE Legend's own recollection:
"Let me tell you something, man... Hulk Hogan is a stupid bastard motherf*cker! He comes to Sheik in 1984, the f*cking c*cks**ker asks Shiek to please not hurt him, because he is the gaysexual. I told that son-of-a-bitch Hogan that I will crush him in the ring, but then that cheap *sshole Kennedy MacMahon tells Shiek to sell for that dumb f*cking bastard. I want to keel that m*therf*cker Hogan! If you have a problem with that... I F*CKING KEEL YOU TOO!"
Attorneys for The Shiek claim that the news network's footage portrays their client as a "stupid m*therf*cking bastard liar" and that damage to his credibility could be irrepairable. They also accuse CNN of employing unfair practices, by showing footage of The Shiek smoking a crack pipe while his comments aired. "The liberal f*cking media always twists things; you are all stupid g*ddamn bastards!" The Shiek claimed, before threatening to "humble" this reporter by performing unspeakable acts on him. In response to the allegations, CNN claims that The Shiek is actually confusing his comments with those made by current WWE superstar John Cena. In addition, the interview in question aired on TNN (The Nashville Network) instead of CNN, and took place in 1999. Also, it wasn't a documentary about drug use in wrestling, but rather an episode of "Cops", in which The Shiek was ranting in the backseat of a patrol car. -30- Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty prank e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more information.
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