Breaking News: Law & Order To Base Episode On McMahon Incident

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(New York, NY) - Using its "ripped from the headlines" approach to storytelling, the NBC television drama Law & Order is producing an episode based on the recent death of World Wrestling Entertainment Chairman Vince McMahon.

The episode, tentatively titled "No Chance In Heck", revolves around the investigation of fictitious wrestling promoter Victor C. McMoney. Any similarities between this story and the WWE angle "are purely coincidental," NBC officials claim.

The show's cold open begins with two maintenance workers cleaning up in the parking lot following a Nationwide Wrestling Organization show. As they turn a corner, they notice that a limousine carrying McMoney has exploded, killing the hated billionaire in the process.

Shortly thereafter, Detectives Green and Cassady arrive on the scene and make a wisecrack about the promoter getting trapped in a "power bomb". After the commercial, the detectives begin interviewing McMoney's wrestlers, such as Double H, "Rock Hard" Sam Astin and Barista about who may have had motivation to carry out such a heinous crime.

"Basically, that dumb son-of-a-bitch has been pissing people off for the past fifteen years," Astin confides before flashing Det. Cassady his middle finger and kicking her in the ribs. "And that's all I got tah say about that."

Eventually, intense police work pays off, and the detectives pick up a hooded man as their primary suspect. The case is handed off to the prosecution, and we take a commercial break.

When we return from break (and after I've had a snack), Executive Assistant District Attorney McCoy is seen preparing his plan of attack for the case.

The trial itself is a mockery, featuring the appearance of a fat male stripper, a leprechaun, two senior citizens dressed in lingerie who try to make out with the judge, a man who devours worms and smashes a clock over his head, and a trio of scantily-clad women who can't dance very well.

None of them are approved to appear as character witnesses.

Finally, McCoy starts his closing arguments, explaining why the hooded man committed the crime. The man then lifts his hood and reveals his true identity.

"It was me all along!" McMoney says, cackling maniacally. "And judge? YOU'RE... FIRRRRRRRRED!"

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Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com