Breaking News: Ron Simmons Draws Rave Reviews For One-Man, One-Word, Stage Show

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(Warner-Robins, GA) - Former WCW World Champion Ron Simmons is winning accolades for his performance in a new one-man, one-word play.

According to the official press kit, the show gives audience members a unique perspective on Simmons' career as an All-American football player, successful wrestler, and in his current role as a backstage liason for World Wrestling Entertainment.

"It's not about what he says," enthused "Village Voice" theater critic Leonard Denner in a recent review. "It's how he says it."

The performance begins with Simmons entering the stage to the delight of the audience. Clad in blue jeans, a black tee-shirt and sporting electrical tape on his wrists, Simmons cocks his head and gives the audience a bewildered glare.

"The glare is what makes all the difference," insists Professor Clay Mihas of the acclaimed Julliard School for the Performing Arts in New York. "Even someone with the talents of, say, a Mr. Michael Arden would have difficulty encapsulating raw anger as well as Mr. Simmons does.”

Then, a mere forty-three minutes into the performance, Simmons slowly rises his head and bellows the word "DAMN!" before walking off the stage to rich applause.

"That has to be my favorite part," said Linda Mun, who traveled all the way from her home in Louisville, Kentucky to watch the show. "I love when he does that 'damn' thing."

On rare occasions, Simmons has been known to re-emerge on stage for an encore, which consists of him shaking his head in disbelief and walking off the stage.

In attempting to interview Simmons after the show, we here at World Wrestling Insanity News were subject to a frosty stare upon entering his office backstage, which is little more than a door without walls.

According to the website of Variety Magazine , German and Italian production companies are negotiating for the rights to establish foreign-language versions of the play, which would be called "Verdammen!" and "Condannare!", respectively.

-30-

Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at Bulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com