Breaking News: WWE Releases 'Special Edition' 2004 Rumble DVD

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(Stamford, CT) - To help fans replace memories of World Wrestling Entertainment superstars who have left the company, moved on to rival promotions, or participated in shocking double murder-suicides, WWE has released a "Special Edition" DVD version of the 2004 Royal Rumble.

"We want our fans to focus on the exciting new generation of WWE superstars," Chief Executive Officer Linda McMahon said. "Who wants to see ex-superstars that are no longer worthy of being in our company, or people who generated massive amounts of bad publicity for us in their aftermath?"

To keep the focus on "Today's WWE", the company has replaced all footage of former employees, thanks to the miracle of video editing, with images of current wrestlers that fans "will no doubt be much more familiar with."

Some concessions had to be made to accommodate the changes, WWE admitted. For example, the thrilling finale of the Royal Rumble now features Chris Benoit Bobby Lashley eliminating The Big Show Great Khali for the victory.

"Lashley has won the Royal Rumble, and earned himself a title match at WrestleMania XX!" cheered dubbed-in commentator John Bradshaw Layfield, which was awkward mainly because he is also seen competing in said Rumble.

WWE has made other small changes to the program, which originally eminated from The Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, and now comes to you from Rio De Janiero.

In a tables match, Batista and Ric Flair defeated The Dudley Boyz Major Brothers for the tag team titles. Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio still retains his belt against Jamie Noble, only Noble's manager is now Nidia Melina. And the bout between Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero has been replaced with an extended-length version of a Triple H rehab video.

Yet the best example of "editing magic" may be how then-WWE champion Brock Lesnar now loses his championship to Hardcore Holly and then dies in the ring.

" Can anyone stop Hardcore Holly has destroyed Brock Lesnar?" announcer Michael Cole asks proclaims.

One match -- a streetfight between Triple H and Shawn Michaels is left perfectly intact.

There are also minor modifications made to the Royal Rumble participants:

Original Version	Special Edition
Chris Benoit	Bobby Lashley
Tajiri	Jimmy Wang Yang
Rhyno	Chuck Palumbo
Scott Steiner	Chris Masters
Matt Morgan	Matt Striker
Spike Dudley	C.M. Punk
Rikishi	Umaga
Rene Dupree	Big Dick Johnson
A-Train	Shane O' Mac
Ernest Miller	Elijah Burke
Kurt Angle	Hornswaggle
Rico	The Miz
Christian	Daivari
Big Show	Great Khali
Chris Jericho	Cody Rhodes
Billy Gunn	Beth Phoenix
Rob Van Dam	Balls Mahoney
Bill Goldberg	Coach

If the DVD is successful, WWE plans to release Special Editions of other discs, including "Hard Knocks: The Jeff Hardy Story"; "The Undertaker: One Of A Kind"; and "Snitsky Still Rules".

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Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at Bulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com