Canadian Bulldog
Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: Orndorff Turns On Chiropractor
By Canadian Bulldog
Mar 11, 2008 - 11:00 AM

Things have come to a head between WWE Hall of Famer "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff and his chiropractor, Christopher Stephens (inset).

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(Brandon, FL)  - After a promising start to their partnership, retired professional wrestler "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff has turned on Tampa-area chiropractor Dr. Christopher Stephens.

"I have had enough of this garbage!" spewed Orndorff while speaking to World Wrestling Insanity News (we were scheduled to be Stephens' 11:30 appointment). "He's been holdin' me back, and he was supposed to FIX my back!"

Just six months ago, no one could have seen this coming. Orndorff, a World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Famer, came to Stephens complaining of chronic lower-back pain.

Through a combination of exercise, IntraDiscary electrothermal therapy, and the prescription of non-inflammatory medication, Stephens was able to get the problem under control within weeks, allowing Orndorff to address numerous other back and neck problems that go with the territory of being a professional wrestler.

"That's when the real problems began," observed legendary announcer "Mean" Gene Okerlund, who had arrived at the office for his monthly spinal manipulation.

There was always tension in the relationship, and not just of the spinal variety.

Orndorff was offended at claims by rulebreakers such as Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and King Kong Bundy that the former University of Tampa football star needed his chiropractor to feel better.

At one point, Orndorff attempted reaching Stephens on the telephone only to hear his call couldn't be taken because the doctor was at the gym... er, I mean, seeing another patient at the time.

Just one week later, Orndorff ran into Stephens' office to save the doctor from a two-on-one attack by chiropractic supplies salesmen. Just as Stephens was about to be thrown through a decompression table, Orndorff rescued the physician.

Then, in a manouevre that no one -- not even Okerlund -- could foresee, Orndorff clotheslined the doctor, causing untold stress to his cervical vertebrae. Orndorff then turned the doctor upside down and delivered his patented piledriver; ironically, a move that the American Chiropractic Association frowns upon.

"I AM THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO IS WONDERFUL!" shouted Orndorff, cupping his hand to his ear to listen for approval.

Stephens then had to cancel his 11:30, leaving me with no one to treat my pinched nerve. GREAT!

-30-

Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty prank e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more information.