|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: TNA Signs Malcolm-Jamal Warner For No Apparent Reason
By Canadian Bulldog
 ...
Be sure to check out the latest Complete and Utter Bulldog Audio Report on ClubWWI.com . Today's show...The Retro Edition "from 1990."
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News (Orlando, FL) - Total Nonstop Action wrestling has signed Hollywood actor Malcolm-Jamal Warner to a long-term contract for no apparent reason. "We are thrilled to welcome Malcolm-Jamal Warner into the TNA family," TNA President Dixie Carter said in a prepared statement. "We're just not sure why, you know, we hired him in the first place." Warner is best known for playing Theo Huxtable on television's The Cosby Show from 1984 to 1992. His popularity will resonate with fans of the hit sitcom, which unfortunately isn't the audience likeliest to watch TNA's Impact television show on Spike TV. "It's great to be back on Thursday night television again," Jamal said at the press conference announcing his arrival. "I just kind of wish it wasn't on the same network as Cock & Load and What the @#$% Friday." When asked whether TNA next planned on hiring Cosby Show alumnae Keshia Knight Pulliam (Rudy) or Geoffrey Owens (Elvin), Carter refused to tip her hat. However, unconfirmed reports have surfaced that Tiffany Brissette (V.I.C.I. the Robot from television's Small Wonder) is in "advanced talks" with the promotion.
Thus far, TNA management have found Warner to be nothing but charming, professional and enthusiastic about his as-of-yet undefined role in North America's second-biggest professional wrestling company. "Theo is a great asset for this company," gushed TNA World Champion Kurt Angle. "He signed autographs for my kid, and posed for a picture with my Olympic gold medals. "He did get a little upset, however, when I asked him to do his little 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' rap," continued Angle. "He must get that all the time. Now this is a story, all 'bout how, my life got turned upside-FREAKING-down...." According to TNA insiders (okay, fine, Jeremy Borash), Warner will either replace Crystal as the sexy backstage interviewer, or will develop a wrestling character named "Mr. Heartbreaker" that is patterned largely after WWE star Shawn Michaels. In an unrelated development, TNA decided this week not to renew the contracts of A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, Chris Sabin, James Storm and Malcolm-Jamal Warner. -30- Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty prank e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more information.
Need More Insanity? Join The Club Plus Uncut Interviews With Tons of Wrestling Stars Including Eric Bischoff, Kevin Nash, Jerry Lawler, and MANY MORE! WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
MISSING?
|
| All content contained here Copyright 2008 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
