From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: TNA Signs Malcolm-Jamal Warner For No Apparent Reason
By Canadian Bulldog
Feb 26, 2008 - 2:05 PM
Be sure to check out the latest Complete and Utter Bulldog Audio Report on
ClubWWI.com
. Today's show...The Retro Edition "from 1990."
 |
| Above: Jim Cornette is no Heathcliff Huxtable, but Malcom-Jamal Warner is no... um, Matt Morgan? |
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News
(Orlando, FL) - Total Nonstop Action wrestling has signed Hollywood actor Malcolm-Jamal Warner to a long-term contract for no apparent reason.
"We are thrilled to welcome Malcolm-Jamal Warner into the TNA family," TNA President Dixie Carter said in a prepared statement. "We're just not sure why, you know, we hired him in the first place."
Warner is best known for playing Theo Huxtable on television's The Cosby Show from 1984 to 1992. His popularity will resonate with fans of the hit sitcom, which unfortunately isn't the audience likeliest to watch TNA's Impact television show on Spike TV.
"It's great to be back on Thursday night television again," Jamal said at the press conference announcing his arrival. "I just kind of wish it wasn't on the same network as Cock & Load and What the @#$% Friday."
When asked whether TNA next planned on hiring Cosby Show alumnae Keshia Knight Pulliam (Rudy) or Geoffrey Owens (Elvin), Carter refused to tip her hat. However, unconfirmed reports have surfaced that Tiffany Brissette (V.I.C.I. the Robot from television's Small Wonder) is in "advanced talks" with the promotion.
 |
| Above: Warner and TNA's Christian Cage go nose-to-nose. |
Thus far, TNA management have found Warner to be nothing but charming, professional and enthusiastic about his as-of-yet undefined role in North America's second-biggest professional wrestling company.
"Theo is a great asset for this company," gushed TNA World Champion Kurt Angle. "He signed autographs for my kid, and posed for a picture with my Olympic gold medals.
"He did get a little upset, however, when I asked him to do his little 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' rap," continued Angle. "He must get that all the time. Now this is a story, all 'bout how, my life got turned upside-FREAKING-down...."
According to TNA insiders (okay, fine, Jeremy Borash), Warner will either replace Crystal as the sexy backstage interviewer, or will develop a wrestling character named "Mr. Heartbreaker" that is patterned largely after WWE star Shawn Michaels.
In an unrelated development, TNA decided this week not to renew the contracts of A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, Chris Sabin, James Storm and Malcolm-Jamal Warner.
-30-
Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for
World Wrestling Insanity
and has published his own
book
of nutty prank e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive
Canadian BullBLOG
for more information.
© Copyright by WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
WorldWrestlingInsanity.com is not
affiliated with any wrestling promotion.
|