Haul ass to your nearest Blockbuster Video.

(Stamford, CT) - The World Wrestling Entertainment animated series Mr. McMahon & His Ass has finally arrived on DVD this week, turning a whole new generation on to the hilarious antics of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon and his mischevious ass.

"The other day I was at a mall and saw that they'd put The Smurfs on DVD," McMahon told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News. "I figured... if kids today want to watch that series, then why wouldn't they want to watch old episodes of Mr. McMahon & His Ass?"

One reason was because only three episodes of the cartoon made it to wwe.com before the series was scrapped in 2006. That hasn't stopped McMahon from stuffing the DVD collection with dozens of "previously unreleased" episodes that were, in fact, created only four weeks ago.

According to the official description on Amazon.com, Mr. McMahon & His Ass: The Complete First Season will feature:

• Ass-tronaut: Mr. McMahon's ass becomes the first ass on the moon.
• Mid Life Cris-ass: Mr. McMahon's ass starts dating younger asses. (Special guest voice: Pamela Anderson)
• The Asses Are Always Bigger In Tex-ass: Mr. McMahon's ass becomes a cowboy.
• Twelve Angry Asses: Mr. McMahon's ass is selected for jury duty in an ass-pital punishment trial. (Special guest voice: Jon Lovitz)
• Assapalooza: Mr. McMahon's ass goes on world tour.
• Assy Birthday To Ass: Mr. McMahon's ass turns.... 50? (Special guest voice: Donald Trump)
• Miassmi Vass: Mr. McMahon's ass busts drug sellers in Florida.
• General Ass-pital: Mr. McMahon's ass becomes head of surgery at the Stamford Hospital, asses and butts ward.
• Lifestyles Of The Rich And Fam-ass: Mr. McMahon's ass gives a tour of its palatial ass-shaped estate. 
• Ass Encounter-ass Of The Ass Ass: Aliens land on earth and try to clone Mr. McMahon's ass. (Special guest voice: John Goodman)

Look for Mr. McMahon & His Ass: The Complete First Season on sale now, wherever fine ass-related DVD's are sold.

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Oh, You Didn't Know....?

Fun Facts About Professional Wrestling

FRAUD!

Oh, you didn't know.... that although World Champion C.M. (Charles Montgomery) Punk claims he's never drank in his life, World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News spotted him backstage at a house show downing a bottle of Snapple?

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WWE Plans Loving Tribute To Michael Jackson

Marella To Adopt Hilarious New Persona

Too soon?

(Calabria, Italy) - World Wrestling Entertainment plans to present a loving tribute in honor of recently-deceased musician Michael Jackson.

Beginning next week, former WWE Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella will debut a new persona designed to immortalize Jackson while providing a "hilarious" biting satire.

"I am the King of the Pop," newcomer Santina Jackson will say in a falsetto voice during his/her first promo on Monday Night Raw. "Look at me, I am a-walking on the moon and touching the little boys."

Each week, Santina will perform a different song in honor of Jackson, such as Wanna To Be A-starting Somethings; Billy's Jeans; and I'm A-so Bad Because I Like To Touch The Little Boys.

When asked about the tribute, the Jackson family released a statement that said "Even for us, that's kind of weird."

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Top Ten Concepts Today's Wrestling Should "Borrow" From The 80's

Your new hosts of Friday Night SmackDown.

10. "12 Rounds: The Match, The Movie" pay-per-view.

9. At least once each week, find a way to bar Bobby "The Brain" Heenan from ringside right before the commercial break.

8. You're telling me Abyss couldn't carry around a stuffed animal and eat turnbuckle foam?

7. Three simple words: Ice Cream Bars.

6. Have someone mimic the exact persona and mannerisms of "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

5. Jeff Hardy could recite his douchey poetry before the starting of each match and then whip out frisbees into the audience.

4. Make The Big Show afraid of snakes for some reason.

3. Outback Jack Swagger.

2. Um, I don't know - 'roids?

1. Whenever they get into trouble, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase duck under the ring and put identical masks on.

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"It's Untrue. It's Damn Untrue"

Angle Now Claims He Never Worked For WWE

Angle, posing with, let's say... the TNA World Championship.

(Orlando, FL) - Former World Wrestling Entertainment Champion Kurt Angle now claims he began in Total Nonstop Action wrestling and has never worked for another company.

"I began my career here in TNA, and I'll end it here in TNA," Angle said on the popular Mushmouth & The Yak internet audio program. "I never even talked to Vince McMahon and performed in his company for eight years."

"In fact, I've never even heard of WWE," continued Angle, shortly before slapping Mushmouth in his patented ankle lock submission hold. "What the hell is WWE, anyways? I've certainly never heard of that organization."

Angle, who headlined two of WWE's WrestleManias, won the company's King of the Ring tournament in 2000, and collected about a dozen championships there, claimed that the hosts must have him "confused with someone else."

Angle added that, once he retires from TNA, he will probably win the Ultimate Fighting Championship, open a chain of restaurants, star in a Hollywood blockbuster, and become a profesional chinchilla farmer.

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WWI Completely Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Week