(Cody, WY) - Total Nonstop Action wrestling consultant Eric Bischoff is responsible for everything bad that has ever happened, a new study confirms.

From backing the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks against America to overlooking Dean Malenko in World Championship Wrestling, all of it was Bischoff's doing, according to the study compiled by the Center for Learning Uninteresting Bulletins, Washington Wrestling Institute.

"We found it difficult  to believe that one man could be singlehandedly responsible for everything, from TNA's current direction to mass poverty throughout Africa, " explained Dr. Jennifer Rydex, who compiled the data for CLUBWWI. "But Eric Bischoff is that guy."

"And look - there's a 20-car pileup here on the highway, so now I'm going to be late for work," Dr. Rydex continued. "Thanks a lot, Bischoff!"

In a blog entry to his fans readers, Bischoff explained that "certain people" had "the facts wrong" and that he indeed wasn't "responsible" for every "bad thing" that has ever occurred in "history".

"This is so typical of wannabe wrestling pundits," Bischoff said. "Add two plus two and they get 17."

"Now if you people will excuse me, I have to go sink the stock market."

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