(Charlotte, NC) - Fresh off a successful victory over WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair, wife Jacqueline Beems is targeting TNA icon Sting for her next beatdown.

"Stinger!" The Nature Girl shouted. "It goes a little something like this. I am the wife of the sixteen-time World Champion. You can run - WOOOOO! - but you can't hide from the dirtiest spouse in the game!"

Beems then ripped off her suit jacket (notable because she wasn't wearing any shirt underneath) and began dropping elbows on it.

For his part, Sting was surprised that Mrs. Flair would wish the Venice Beach native any ill will.

"I don't get it; we always got along so well," Sting told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News. "I would have never seen this coming. Just like that time Ric's daughter kicked me in the balls."

Beems also boasted that she's formed her own clique -- The Four Horsewomen -- to keep potential rivals away from her battle with The Stinger.

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Oh, You Didn't Know....?

Fun Facts About Professional Wrestling

Fire, scarecrow?

Oh, you didn't know.... that The Undertaker really hates fire? Not only was The Dead Man accidentally burnt at a recent pay-per-view event, but fire also horribly disfigured his brother Kane. Also, both his parents died in a fire.

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"Brand" Extension?

WWE To Rename All Pay-Per-Views

.... where every main event is a Lumberjack match!

(Stamford, CT) - So long, SummerSlam. Arrivederci, Royal Rumble.

Following the (cough cough) success of such newly-branded pay-per-views as Elimination Chamber and Hell In A Cell, World Wrestling Entertainment has vowed to re-name all of its monthly pay-per-views to make them sound like special stipulation matches.

"This is the perfect answer to all of our WWE fans who are looking for something different," WWE Chairman Vince McMahon told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News recently while mowing his lawn. "Because we clearly hate all of them."

The changes will begin Sunday March 28 for the event formerly known as WrestleMania. The PPV will now be referred to as WWE Lumberjack Match.

What follows is a tentative schedule for the next year of events:

April 25: No Disqualification! (formerly Extreme Rules)

May 23: Bra and Panties Match (formerly Wild Card)

June 20: Loser Leaves Town (formerly Fatal Four Way)

July 18: Coal Miners' Glove (formerly Money In The Bank)

August 15: Bodyslam Challenge (formerly SummerSlam)

September 19: Non-Title Match (formerly Night of Champions)

October 3: Dog-Collar-And-Chain (formerly Hell in a Cell)

October 24: Judy Bagwell On A Pole (formerly Bragging Rights)

November 21: 10-Man Elimination Tag Team Match (formerly Survivor Series)

December 19: Super Posedown! (formerly TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs)

January 2011: Battle Royal With Staggered Entries (formerly Royal Rumble)

February 2011: 2 Out Of 3 Falls (formerly Elimination Chamber)

The schedule is subject to change, particularly if WWE can remember its name for the gimmick match held between Hillbilly Jim and Adorable Adrian Adonis in 1986.

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ShopTNA.com Item Of The Week

Abyss: Crybaby T-Shirt

Throw your support behind TNA superstar Abyss.... or else he'll probably start crying! This shirt is perfect for wearing while drinking International Coffees and sharing your innermost feelings. Available in blubbering blue, wimpy white and pansy pink. $29.95.

"Er(ror) In Wood Sucks!"

EPA Forces Duggan To Lose 2 X 4

As a substitute, Duggan proudly holds a mop made from synthetic materials.

(Glens Falls, NY) - The Environmental Protection Agency is coming down on WWE Legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because of an alleged penchant for destroying trees.

Duggan, the agency claims, has carried around sticks of wood that measure approximately 2 by 4 feet, everywhere he's gone for the past 20 years. 

Assuming he fashions a new piece of lumber before each of his matches and public appearances, that would mean that approximately 500 trees have been cut down for Duggan's personal consumption.

"That's a load of hooey!" Duggan shouted in the general direction of World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News. "I've only used one 2x4 my entire career, and I found it behind a dumpster, tough guy!"

"Hooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Duggan added helpfully.

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WWI Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Week

Rest in peace, Sweet Boner.

World Wrestling Insanity reader and Complete and Utter Bulldog co-host The Big Rybowski writes: "Hey, Bulldog. Do you remember how, on our October 24 edition of CAUB, which is available now, exclusively at ClubWWI.com, our special guest was "Boner from Growing Pains?" Well, I guess he was really bummed out after doing the show."

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