(Stamford, CT) - World Wrestling Entertainment is debuting a new program that promises to introduce the WWE Universe to the worst new superstar.

"Quite frankly, this promises to be a very exciting development," Chairman Vince McMahon said while sharing a joint with World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News. "Imagine finding out who the next wrestler is going to be that will absolutely suck!"

WWE WRST will appear on the Bravo Network beginning in September, during the prime slot of 2:30 p.m. on Wednesdays. Competitors will be judged on their ability to botch moves, butcher promos and conduct themselves like jackasses backstage.

The program will match newcomers with experienced "pros" such as The Great Khali, Buff Bagwell, Men on a Mission's Mo, Manu, Nicole Bass, Mike Adamle, Ahmed Johnson and Jackie Gayda-Haas.

Michael Cole will be the show's lead announcer.

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ShopTNA.com Item Of The Week

Party like it's 1996! This trendy new Band T-shirt isn't afraid to tell it like it is, so look as you don't stooge it out to management. Perfect for wearing to Al-anon meetings or hitting on nasty cougars at the bar. Comes in small, large and extra lazy.

Self High Five?

DDP Fails To Feel... The... BANG!

(The Diamond Mine) - Diamond Dallas Page is failing to feel the "bang" these days, if you catch our drift.

The former WCW World Champion, once a notorious ladies man married to former Nitro Girl Kimberly Page, is now barely even to nail the "diamond cutter", if you see our meaning.

According to our sources, DDP isn't even able to get himself into the old "triad" - nudge, nudge, wink wink.

When reached for comment by World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News, Page admitted he'd been doing a lot of "self-high fives" lately.

If you see what we mean.

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Aging Gracefully

What Your Favorite Wrestlers May Look Like In The Future...

(Toronto, Canada) - Have you ever wondered what your favorite wrestling superstars will look like as senior citizens?

Previously, your only option to find out was by watching TNA Impact. But now, there's an alternative.

Thanks to Canadian Bulldog's revolutionary and not-at-all-ripped-off-some-other-website technology, here are what five grapplers may look like in their advanced years. Future selections will appear here in the weeks and months to come. Enjoy!

Age of Orton? Or just plain Aged Orton?

Welllllll.... it's the... um... uh... did I ever tell you about the Monday Night Wars, sonny?

Time to play the game... so long as the game is shuffleboard or Bingo.

These hypocrite kids playing their damn rock and roll music...

It's a new day.... or at least, it was 30 years earlier.

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WWI Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Day

World Wrestling Insanity reader and ClubWWI.com subscriber Barry O' Toole writes: "Last weekend, I saw a high school production of Tommy. When they said "That deaf, dumb and blind kind sure plays a mean pinball", it reminded me of the angle in ECW where Tommy Dreamer blinded The Sandman.

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