From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News: NWA, TNA, NWA and MORE!!!
By Canadian Bulldog
Jul 29, 2008 - 2:13 PM
NWA Extends Championship Lineage
World Title Now Goes Back As Far As 1784
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| Appearances can be deceiving. |
(
Columbia,
SC) - For years, National Wrestling Alliance promoters boasted that its World Heavyweight Championship could be traced back to 1904 and the days of Jim Londos and George Hackenschmidt.
But now, backers have discovered that the company's roots go back another 120 years.
The very first NWA championship match was contested on September 12, 1784 between John Thomas Robert McLoughlin and Viscount Freidrich Ferdinand, according to new footage posted today to YouTube. The bout was contested in
Grassy Bay,
New York and is believed to have been a ladder match.
"In the 18th century, the NWA champion was the most powerful man in wrestling," NWA President Bill Behrens told World Wrestling Insanity News. "He would travel via hot air balloon from
Persia to
Prussia and everywhere in between, taking on the day's top competitors."
NWA promoters were eager to publicize their upstart league, and sold tee shirts -- at the time, known as sweaters -- with the slogan "Join the revolution (not to be confused with the recently-ended American Revolutionary War)!!!"
McLoughlin, who was doing a "colonist" gimmick at the time, won the match and would go on to successfully defend the strap -- at the time, it was literally just a piece of leather -- nine times before succumbing to yellow fever.
The title was vacated and re-established the following year in the palace of Spain's King Carlos III, during a 28-man, 2-minotaur battle royale.
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Did You Know???
Fun Facts About Professional Wrestling
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| Appearances can be deceiving. |
Did you know... that former WWE superstar Max Moon wasn't really from the moon? He actually hails from Tricebulon-7, a star system that isn't yet recognized by your earthling scientists.
Vito Still Wearing Dresses
No One Quite Sure Why
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| Appearances can be deceiving. |
(
Manhattan,
NY) - More than a year after his departure from World Wrestling Entertainment, Vito LoGrasso has been seen in public wearing women's clothing for some reason.
"Hey, when he was doing that cross-dresser gimmick on SmackDown, it made perfect sense," said... I don't know... let's just say... Steve Blackman for argument's sake. "But now that he's no longer with the company, it's just kind of, you know, weird."
When confronted with the cross-dressing information, LoGrasso said that he's "just having fun out there." However, the exact location of "out there" is questionable, considering he's not actively wrestling currently and instead is working at a Best Buy in
Brooklyn.
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CM Punk Title Win "Just A Dream"
Actual Champion To Be Revealed At SummerSlam
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| Appearances can be deceiving. |
(
Chicago,
IL) - World Wrestling Entertainment fans will soon learn that CM Punk's supposed World Heavyweight Title win on Monday Night Raw was "just a dream" and never, in fact, happened.
Next week's episode of Raw is to feature Punk against John Cena, John Bradshaw Layfield, Kane, Batista, Triple H, Edge, Ric Flair, Kurt Angle and The Ultimate Warrior. Just as he is about to pin HHH's shoulders to the mat, the scene will fade to hazy white footage.
When the haze clears, Punk will be shown in his bed, sitting up in a cold sweat. When he walks over to the shower to collect his thoughts, Victoria Principal will explain that he just dreamt the entire storyline.
The following week, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon will reveal that, because the preceding two months were all just part of CM Punk's dream, McMahon was never injured by a collapsed stage. Accordingly, anyone that was given cash during the "McMahon's Million Dollar Mania" contest will be ordered to return it.
It's not yet understood how Vince McMahon knew what CM Punk was dreaming about.
When reached for comment on the developments, World Wrestling Insanity columnist ZAH promptly slit his wrists.
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Aaron Wood Scared Of Canadian Bulldog, Bulldog Says
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| Appearances can be deceiving.... unless you're a crappy jerk. |
(
Edinburgh,
Scotland) - Aaron Wood, a fellow writer at World Wrestling Insanity.com, is scared of me.
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Knockouts Uglier Than Divas; Survey
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| Appearances can be deceiving (in some cases). |
(
Washington,
DC) - The women dubbed "TNA Knockouts" by Total Nonstop Action wrestling are, generally speaking, homelier than what World Wrestling Entertainment calls its "WWE Divas," a new study suggests.
The survey, conducted by the
Center for Learning Uninteresting Bulletins, Washington Wrestling Institute (CLUB WWI), shows that most wrestling fans would rather fawn over a Maria, Mickie James or Michelle McCool than they would an Awesome Kong, Roxxi Laveau or ODB.
In fact, 98 percent of respondents said they'd rather bang a WWE Diva than their uglier, less slutty, TNA counterparts. The survey contains a 2 percent margin of error, namely to allow in So Cal Val and Velvet Sky.
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WWI Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Week
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| Appearances can be deceiving. |
World Wrestling Insanity.com reader and Club WWI.com member Luc Ahearn writes: "Did you know that the NWA have been putting out albums since 1987? I noticed that there were a whole bunch of them in my local CD shop recently! I've been listening to them, and I'm not sure which were supposed to be the theme songs for Ron Garvin or Magnum T.A. or what have you, but the lyrics are pretty controversial for so-called 'family friendly' wrestling. I can't imagine Gordon Solie would have approved."
(Do you have a news tip for Breaking News? Send it to Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com and it may appear in a future edition!!!)
THE ORIGINAL Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for
World Wrestling Insanity and has published
his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers.
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