Canadian Bulldog
World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News SPECIAL REPORT: WWE Meets Dr. Seuss!!!
By Canadian Bulldog
Apr 21, 2009 - 3:00 PM

The lovable story of a brash young elephant that hears voices in his head.

(Stamford, CT) - World Wrestling Entertainment has decided to dominate the world of children's literature, thanks to a new series of Dr. Seuss-themed books.

Co-branding with the Seuss name will be perfect for presenting WWE as family-friendly entertainment, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News.

"I know of some games we could play," said The Matt. "We could ambush my brother," said The Fat In The Matt.

"Quite frankly, we feel we're up to the task. And those here who doubt it, can all kiss my ass," McMahon said. "We'll sell hundreds of books by the time the day's through. To kids on the street, and to kids in the zoo.

"And if you're not f*cking careful, I'll sell one to you."

Longtime followers of WWE programming (or possibly longtime followers of wrestling's most popular humor columnist) will recall that, in 2006, WWE published a book about the extracurricular exploits of former superstars Rob Van Dam and Sabu, in the book "Green Joints And Spam".

Selected excerpts. Click on the link above this picture for the entire story.

However, WWE will focus this newest series on some of its most popular current or former superstars, including:

Who better to teach your children about making noises than a seventy-five year-old perpetually naked man?

Every mark who watched wrestling liked Christmas, a lot. But Santino Marella, did certainly not. "I'm not here to make, how you say, nursery rhymes. I am the greatest Grinch, for all of the times."

Someone shouldn't have left their egg unhatched. Now it's time to play the game...

'He's stuck in my pants,' I thought with great fear. Then he pushed out a crack and said 'The champ... is... here!'

Hop! Hop! Hop On Pop! "If you know what's good for you, you'd damn well better stop!"

Look for the books to arrive at fine booksellers and WWE Shop Zone this Christmas.

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