Doctor Seeks Second Opinion On Punching Ability

(West Newbury, MA) - Sports physician Dr. James Andrews was flown in to West Newbury to consult with noted professional wrestler John Cena to improve his ability in throwing realistic-looking punches.

"I'd spoken to wrestlers locally, but thought it best to seek a second opinion," Dr. Andrews told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News.

Cena evaluated Dr. Andrews at his facility here and explained that, while he's still throwing the occasional potato, the doctor should be able to punch again within six to eight months.

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Where Are They Now?

Catching Up With Some Of Your Favorites...

Scott "Flash" Norton: The former arm-wrestling champion and nWo member is currently in his living room.

The Berserker: Mr. Fuji's favorite viking is now a top-ranked pastry chef in Paris.

Candice Michelle: The Playboy Playmate and ex-WWE Women's Champion is doing her Christmas shopping this afternoon before stopping off at Starbucks at Exit 77 for her usual non-fat mocha-latte with a pinch of cinnamon. I mean... I guess. Seriously, how the hell would I know? It's not like I stalk her 24/7 or anything (thank you, restraining order).

Jamison: The regular Prime Time Wrestling audience member and occasional Bushwhackers manager is a successful investment banker at JPMorgan Chase in New York.

Uncle Elmer: Last we checked, the loveable former WWF hillbilly was still dead.

Los Boricuas: Each member is doing their own separate thing these days.

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Skinner Has Some Property In The Everglades He'd Like To Sell You

(The Everglades) - If you believed that, then former World Wrestling Federation competitor Skinner has some property in The Everglades he'd like to sell you.

"It's a hell of deal," said Skinner, in between spitting wads of tobacco onto the ground.

It wasn't clear to World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News whether Skinner was selling a condominium in the area, or perhaps a patch of wild-growing, swamp-infested grass where he sometimes used to pop up and say "I'm gonna skin you alive!"

The property was displayed in the Multiple Listings Service this morning, along with some beachfront property in Nebraska and the Brooklyn bridge.

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WWI Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Week

World Wrestling Insanity reader and Club WWI.com subscriber Felidia Featherbottom writes: "I saw on the news the other how some deranged parent had choked their child to death by leaving a sock in their throat. It reminded me of Mick Foley's finishing move."

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