(Vancouver, BC) - World Wrestling Entertainment is at odds with the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, scheduled for next year in Vancouver.

The issue? WWE's "Monday Night Raw" program is reportedly booked for the same time and venue as the men's luge championships.

WWE Chairman and borderline nutcase Vince McMahon claims his company booked the date in June 1999, well before professional wrestling started to suck ass. He says its not his "problem" that Vancouver didn't foresee it would eventually land the Olympic Games and create a scheduling conflict.

Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson "should be arrested and thrown in jail for impersonating a mayor," McMahon told World Wrestling Insanity News, in an interview conducted for some reason by former WWE announcer Craig De George.

McMahon added that his crew is already on its way to Vancouver and can't be stopped (no cell phones).

"Quite frankly, we are prepared to go there and put on our show in a parking lot, on the side of a mountain, inside the athletes' Olympic Village, whatever it takes," McMahon said. "Besides, I just really like pissing off Canadians."

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Oh, You Didn't Know?

Fun Facts About Professional Wrestling

Master of disguise?

Oh, you didn't know.... that in addition to going by the name Samoa Joe, the former TNA "World" Champion has also competed as Hawaii Phil, Sri Lanka Steve, Mexico City Gord and Serbia Mike.

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"DRAT!"

Simmons Forced To Adopt PG-Friendly Catchphrase

Wonder how this may affect Rob Van Drat?

(Warner Robins, GA) - Like many people, World Wrestling Entertainment one-note joke Ron Simmons has had to change with the times.

Instead of peering at random wrestlers in backstage sketches and saying "DAMN!" after a fifteen-second awkward pause, the former WCW World Champion will now be using the more family-friendly "DRAT!" as his patented catchphrase.

"We experimented with a number of other words," WWE spokesman Josh Wellington said. "We thought 'Darn!' was still a little too edgy, 'Crikey' was far too British-sounding, and 'D'oh!' was already taken by The Simpsons.

"We almost went with 'Rats!' as Ron's catchphrase, but then we realized it would cause confusion with the young ladies who.... well, never mind," Wellington said.

When reached for comment about his new saying, Simmons had the following to say:

"F*CK!"

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World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News In Action

We Make Things Happen!!!

Canadian WHO? Yeah, that's what I thought.

(Toronto, ONT) - This isn't boasting. I'm just stating the facts:

December 2007 - Wrestler DH (Harry) Smith returns to WWE action following a Wellness Program violation.

March 2008 - Smith begins competing under the ridiculously popular (but sadly, already taken) name of Canadian Bulldog.

April 2008 - The ACTUAL Canadian Bulldog, who is wrestling's most-popular humor columnist, retains the legal firm of NidiaFan Legal Services Inc. and writes a strongly-worded " open letter " to WWE. Said letter includes the following threat:

In my humble opinion, I'm thinking you guys might want to re-consider your little nickname for young Harry Smith. Or else we might have a little bit of a problem on our hands.

May 2008 - Smith is taken off WWE programming immediately after losing a match to John Bradshaw Layfield on Monday Night Raw.

June 2008 - Smith is drafted to SmackDown and never makes a single appearance.

April 2009 - Smith is drafted to ECW.

May 2009 - Smith is re-christened David Hart Smith. Notice the lack of nickname there.

So.... anyone else wanna f*ck with me?

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Mad Libs Mania Is Here

Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother?

Still better than his crap-ass reality show.

(Venice Beach, CA) - Mad Libs, which are a series of fill-in-the-blank word-game books, have just been injected with a dose of Hulkamania!

For a nominal fee, wrestling legend Hulk Hogan has agreed to help produce the popular series of books, adding his own unique style.

Much like traditional Mad Libs, writers will be encouraged to comically exagerrate descriptions, phrases and stories. However, Hogan will also offer advice, drawing on his past experience exagerrating descriptions, phrases and stories.

Just payin' the bills, brother.

"Well, lemme tell ya something, Big Bulldog," Hogan told World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News. "I was here hangin' and bangin' here at my gym, deadlifting 3 tonnes of weights on each arm, and it suddenly came to me; why not help my zillions of Hulkamaniacs out there write better stories, brother?

The WWE Hall of Famer then flexed his 92-inch pythons and shouted: "And whatcha gonna do, brother, when the power of Mad Libs and Hulkamania runs wild on youuuuuuuuuuuu?"

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WWI Obscure Wrestling-Related Reference Of The Week

Next thing you know, they'll be using "puke" and "maggot", too.

World Wrestling Insanity reader and Club WWI.com subscriber Pvt. Chip Bumbelwinkel writes: "The other day, my commanding officer inspected the barracks of my unit. When he got to my bunk, he started yelling that it was filthy, shoved me over, forced me to clean the floor with my tongue, and barked: 'And that's an order!'. I remembered that was just like Sgt. Slaughter used to say!"

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Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty prank e-mails to wrestlers. He can be reached at canadian.bulldog@gmail.com or followed at http://twitter.com/canadianbulldog.