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Canadian Bulldog
World Wrestling Insanity Breaking News Archive: 30 Amazing But True Royal Rumble Facts!
By Canadian Bulldog
Jan 24, 2012 - 12:50 PM

(Originally published January 26, 2010)

As you stupid marks are well aware, World Wrestling Entertainment's annual  Royal Rumble extravaganza takes place this weekend. And, as usual, WWE has predictably compiled its own Rumble mini-site, loaded with facts and figures.

But then, there are the statistics that WWE doesn't  want  you to know. Which, by no coincidence, I have compiled for you.

You're welcome.

30 Amazing But True Royal Rumble Facts!

RR4.JPG
1991: Eugene joins in the fun.

 

1. The average amount of time a wrestler spends in the Royal Rumble: 37 seconds.

2. Tugboat  has never won the Royal Rumble.

3. Today, the winner of the Rumble gets an automatic title shot at WrestleMania. But when the event began in 1988, the winner received $250 and a box of WWF Ice Cream Bars.

4. In 1998, all 30 competitors were played by  Mick Foley  and  Stevie Richards  wearing various costumes.

5.  Demolition  members  Ax and Smash  fought each other in the opening minutes of the 1989 Rumble, a feat that wouldn't occur again until 2005 when  James and Chad Dick  faced off.

6. 83 percent of past Rumble winners mysterious died the next day.

RR2.JPG
1992: The Punjabi Playboy wreaks havoc.

 

7. The unknown person who attacked  Macho Man Randy Savage  backstage before his 1991 appearance?  Kwang.

8.  Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart has never won the Royal Rumble.

9.  Zach Gowen  could have easily won the 2004 Royal Rumble had he been entered into it, because of the whole "both feet must touch the floor" rule.

10.  Aaron Wood  sucks.

11. The 2000 Rumble was supposed to feature  Chyna  and  Chris Jericho  as co-winners. One guess as to who was writing the friggin' shows back then?

12. WWE has surprised fans in past Rumbles by bringing back veterans such as  Dick Murdoch,Dory Funk Jr.,  Hacksaw Jim Duggan,  Carlos Colon  and  The Honky Tonk Man. Yet none were more surprising than when, in 1997, they entered into the match the exhumed corpse ofGeorge Hackenschmidt.

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Austin 3:16 says post no bills!

 

13.  Mr. Fuji  has never won the Royal Rumble.

14. In 1992, Ric Flair outlasted 29 others to win the vacant WWF World Title. It was initially going to be  Max Moon.

15. WWE announcers are all f*cking idiots. Why? Because they seem to think that  just because someone is tall and/or fat, they statistically have a better chance at winning the Royal Rumble. Tell that to  The Big Show,  One Man Gang,  Big Daddy V,  Vader,  Andre The Giant  and all the others that routinely get their fat asses thrown out by a half-dozen other guys.

16. It would be tough to tell that Andre because he's, technically, deceased.

17.  Drew Carey  of  The Drew Carey Show  was involved in the 2001 Rumble, but he wasn't the first sitcom star to enter the event. In 1988,  Norm  from  Cheers  (George Wendt) and  Munro  from  Too Close For Comfort  (Jm J Bullock) each made brief appearances. And two years later, the Royal Rumble was won by  Balky  from  Perfect Strangers  (Bronson Pinchot).

18. If you pay close attention to the 2002 Royal Rumble, event winner  Triple H  literally  held all the other wrestlers underneath a (gimmicked) glass ceiling.

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1994: Featuring all of your childhood favorites.

 

19.  Sting  has never won the Royal Rumble.

20. If you pause your DVD at 31:28 into the 2009 Royal Rumble, you can see entrants Santino Marella  and  Beth Phoenix  discreetly making out in the background.

21. Absolutely NO ONE won the 2004 Royal Rumble. Don't even bother looking it up.

22. WWE likes to add people into the Rumble that are way past their prime, have nothing to offer the business anymore and are just coasting off of past reputations.  Whoops, sorry. I'm confusing them with TNA.

23.  Gangrel  has never won the Royal Rumble.

24. The all-time Royal Rumble longevity record goes to former WWE competitor  Eugene, who mistakenly stayed in the ring a good three weeks after the pay-per-view had finished.

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2008: Card subject to change.

 

25. In 1996,  Jerry "The King" Lawler  hid under the ring to avoid being thrown out by rivals. However, he ended up being dragged into  Hornswoggle's secret lair and attacked by midget jury members.

26. At 1998's Rumble, there was an awkward 52-minute pause between entrants #14 (Ken Shamrock) and #15 (Headbanger Thrasher) coming to the ring. 

27. The Royal Rumble pinball machine? Kind of sucked.

28. The 1994 "tie" between  Bret "Hitman" Hart  and  Lex Luger  had to be settled by a dance-off.

29.  Gorilla Monsoon  was the world's biggest liar, every time he said crap like "Virgil  could win the Royal Rumble!" Get off it, Monsoon - there's no f*cking way Virgil was ever going to win!

30. The record for the most eliminations in a single Rumble was set in 1997, when  Alex "The Pug" Porteau  threw out 23 competitors.

Sadly, he didn't win.


Canadian Bulldog has been writing about professional wrestling since 2003, and became a WWI Superstar at    World Wrestling Insanity    in January 2006. Need more Bulldog? Check out his "Complete and Utter Bulldog" podcast at    Club WWI   ; like his    Facebook    page, and follow him on    Twitter.

 



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