Breaking News: Kamala Hasn't 'Ruled Out' Presidential Run

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(Uganda) - Kamala has not "ruled out" a run at the U.S. presidency, sources close to the cannibal said today.

"At this time, Kamala is keeping all of his options open," explained handler Kim Chee at a news conference. "We expect to make an official announcement in due course."

"The Ugandan Headhunter", as he is known in some circles, has won praise in recent months for his charitable efforts, such as a successful campaign for "Patting Your Belly To Stamp Out Hunger".

Political observers are impressed with Kamala's fresh approach to issues such as universal health care, homeland security and neglecting to turn his opponents on their backs when he pins them.

"Clearly, the American public is ready for a change in 2008," explained political commentator James Carville during a recent appearance on CNN's 'Situation Room'. "Could that be in the form of President Kamala? Most definitely."

 
Above: Working the room at a recent fundraiser.

Political sources expect that if he took the plunge, Kamala would probably run as an independent candidate, possibly with longtime ally Sika as his running mate. According to a recent Ipsos-Reid poll, 28.6 percent of Americans would support a Kamala-Sika ticket over leading candidates such as John McCain (R-Arizona), Hilary Rodham Clinton (D-New York), Barack Obama (D-Illinois) and Deuce and Domino (R-Other Side Of The Tracks).

Of course, the poll was conducted at the conclusion of a "WWE Monday Night Raw" taping, and many in attendance may have been confusing the words "Kamala" and "Obama". But that's hardly a factor...

Detractors of the "Kamala '08" camp claim that he should be prevented to run because he was born in the jungles of Uganda instead of the U.S. Also, he doesn't seem to be able to talk.

"Ouoooooooahhhhhh-aaaaa!" Kamala said in response to his critics, karate-chopping at least one reporter in the throat before leaving the press conference.

In response to the allegations, Kim Chee conceded that Kamala does not, in fact, speak any form of discernable language. But as he points out, either does the current president.

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Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com