I'm, at 78 years old, about to graduate and I seem to be spending most of my time these looking for jobs, applying for jobs, and asking people to write me letters of recommendation for jobs. That and playing Mafia Wars. It can all get a little stressful, luckily I have wrestling and a wide variety of drugs to relax me (when you're 78 the doctors just start handing drugs to you like they are candy). I think they're trying to kill me—but that's a story for my other weekly column, “Help. This is Dan Crocker and My Doctors Are Trying to Kill Me.”

At least I don't have it as bad as Hulk Hogan. Apparently, Flair left him a bloody mess in Australia this week. I find that interesting. What I find more interesting is that some folks there seem to think this is a shoot. We don't, right? You know why? Allow me to quote Hacksaw Jim Duggan here: U.S.A! U.S.A!

According to Jerry Lawler, no one in WWE has ever even heard of TNA. I find that hard to believe since I know for a fact Vince McMahon reads my column. Not this column, but “Help. This is Dan Crocker and My Doctors Are Trying to Kill Me.” Actually, Lawler - like he said on ClubWWI.com - didn't go that far, but he did say that he no one in WWE considers TNA a threat. Eat this bitches—Enter Hulk Hoga . . . DOH!

I once wrestled a pig.

Mick Foley claims he's going to be on The Daily Show tonight. So...yeah, watch it and stuff. He's not being interviewed. He's either wrestling Hogan or a pig. FYI, Foley and I have the same doctor.

TNA is having some sort of pre-taped tournament on Thanksgiving. That's stupid.

Billy Graham is attacking Linda's Senate campaign.

Not that Billy Graham! The Superstar.

He taste just like pork. 　

Superstar Billy Graham's slogan? “McMahon is a Scam!” This just barely beat out, “McMahon is a manipulative bitch that has more money than God but still never offered health insurance to any of her employees and now a bunch of them are dead.”

Eric Bischoff has called Vince McMahon one of the least creative people he's ever worked with. This just in: N.W.O Invades TNA.

You know, it really does speak to their old school professionalism that Flair and Hogan can fool an entire country into thinking they had a real fight. It sort of makes me wish I was Australian. Nah...U.S.A! U.S.A!

Brock Lesner was in the hospital for something or other, now he's out. Who cares? He was dead to me as soon as he left wrestling. Now, let's hope this goes up before he really dies. Man 'o man, would that be egg on my face. I don't know. Lesner has bacteria in his intestines or something. I just skimmed this news bit. I think he has a week to live...either that, or they're just giving him some antibiotics. Let's hope he has different doctors than me and Foley. Those mofos will try to kill you. Trust me on this. You mess with my doctors and you end up either bald or dead.