The entire world is buzzing about the new Monday Night Wars. Okay, maybe not the entire world. Maybe not even all of wrestling fans, but some people, mostly internet writers,   are buzzing about the new Monday Night Wars. Given the ratings, I'm not sure we can call it a war yet, but it's not as bad as it could have been for TNA. Here's my biggest worry so far, though. Have you ever had to crap so bad, while you were in public, let's say you're at a business meeting or something, that you're sitting there for twenty minutes with your butt cheeks clinched like a vice, face red, and starting to sweat (this sentence just make Faulkner roll over in his grave).   Anyway, once you finally get to the john everything just comes rushing out like someone turned on a faucet. That's what TNA seemed like this week.   I don't know if they have any crap left for next week.

            The truth is, I mostly watched TNA and very little WWE this week. I don't have a DVR, I'm a country guy after all. So I literally have to switch back and forth and TNA kept me a bit more interested. But, a hell of a lot happened. They can't do that every week can they?   Some of what happened was good and some wasn't.   Let's break it down a bit.

            Flair and Hogan:   Okay, it's interesting because it's Flair and Hogan but once they stepped in the ring I couldn't help but think about how much better this angle would have been ten or even twenty years ago. I mean Flair's cankles start at just below his ass.   Abyss just look weird in there sporting his Green Lantern Ring (a story that evokes memories of the worst of WCW—Chuckie, Robocop, that Kiss dude).   Plus, they seem to have an obsession with blood. In his opening promo Hogan said “blood” about 30 times and then it was as if they were literally trying to cover up the quality of the matches with a couple of proverbial crimson masks.  

            The opening segments of both promotions were filled with a couple of old people walking. Really, I was starting to think the hot five minutes TNA were promoting was actually Hogan just walking to the ring.   By the time the Undertaker got to the ring in WWE, I had already deep fried half a chicken.

            Hogan wants to take TNA into “infinity and beyond.”   Or did he say “affinity and beyond?”  

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This brings us to Sting. I'm pretty sure Sting is going to take us to affinity and beyond. I don't mind the heel turn. I saw it coming, but I don't mind it. I don't mind him beating the hell out of everyone he sees with that bat of his.   I do worry how long it will last. From what I hear, or am making up, Sting wasn't happy with a brief heel turn in WCW.   Also, wasn't his last turn a desperation move? I'll see how it goes. I sort of like it at the moment. I don't even mind the beat down of RVD upon his return—as long as something cool comes out of it. That's a big if.

            I'm going to end with just a few random notes I wrote down while watching wrestling on Monday. They're damn near poetic:

--Not sure how A.J. Can see out of the hood of his robe. He literally looks like a Muppet chicken.

--A fight has broken out at the nursing home (this in response to Hogan v Flair)

--HBK is wearing hair extensions.

--Flair wants us to dial his name. I tried. I got an old lady in Burbank.

--After commercial, Brook has her face in some cougars boobs.

--I get it that they really wanna push Sting as an icon, but do they have to say icon in front of his name every time he's mentioned.   The Icon Sting is here. The Icon Sting is talking. I went out to lunch yesterday with The Icon Sting and The Icon Sting ordered iced tea.

--Hall and his funny looking little buddy should be bank robbers. They can get into anywhere.

--Can't someone, anyone, anywhere find out Mr. Anderson's first name?   It would just make life easier on everyone.

Okay. That's it. That's all. Good night.