Word is that Kurt Angle isn't going to pursue a career in MMA just yet because he can make more money in TNA. However, my sources tell me it's because he would probably literally have his neck broken for good. Hello, my name is Dan Crocker—welcome to my article. Hmmm. I think I need a better name for this thing than “Welcome to My Article.”   That's like tuning into TNA and having West say, “welcome to wrestling program.”   Any ideas? Post them on the forums!

Okay Vince we get it. There was this thing with the Nuggets. It pissed you off.   But my Lord, Man! Have you been watching the NBA playoffs?   These have been the most exciting conference finals in years. They have a lot more drama than wrestling at the moment. So instead of complaining about not getting a building on a scheduled night, how about taking the publicity and putting on a better show. Speaking of problems—this is nothing like Vince's overwhelming   problems, I'm sure—my bank account is sitting at -95 bucks. Yes, that's a minus sign in front of the 95.

I   told you all I'd actually be able to sit down and watch some wrestling this week. Last night I caught, on ESPN Classic, the legendary Teijo Khan wrestle Jerry “the King” Lawler.   This was no Flair/Steamboat. Half the match was nothing but pulling hair and the second half was Teijo running out of the ring and changint, “Woe Woe Woe Woe.”   Apparently Teijo Khan spoke his own language, and it consisted of one word . . . a word that sounded to me like “Woe” spoken in the cadence of the Three Stooges' Curly when he's had too much cheese.   It could have have been anything though. But only his Russian friend could understand him.   Makes sense—at least as much sense as Hulking up.   You can see part of the match here:

This match reminded me of a few things we're missing in the current state of wrestling.   First of all, what happened to all the “barkers.”   You know—the wrestlers who would run around the ring the whole match doing what can only be described of as barking.   They all did it a little differently, of course, but they were just like different breeds of dogs. The time has come for a wrestler who barks. Maybe the Miz.

We need more tests of strength.   Nothing got the crowd going like a test of strength.

Blows to the heart. Yes, this used to be a hell of a move, folks. Nothing would put the hurt on your opponent like a blow to the heart.

Finally, the unforgiving concrete floor. Can we please bring this back? I mean this is why throwing people over the top rope was illegal for years. The unforgiving concrete floor was...well, unforgiving.

Hey, here's another barker from you—and one of my favorites:

I don't know how the hell he could wrestle like that. He sounds like he has asthma. I guess it is supposed to be intimidating, but the tube socks sort of ruin it.

Team Lakers?   Team Nuggets? I didn't want to write to much about this because it was just petty and silly.   But, damn that was petty and silly. It basically just make me wish I was actually watching the Lakers and Nuggets.   Now bring back Teijo Khan. Unless he's dead...well zombie Teijo Khan even better.

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