Watch this if you haven't already:  

            First of all, let's not   get into the fact that this is the Four Horsemen without being the Four Horseman. It's the same fingers, but it's Fortune, get it?   I don't. Look, why say you're bringing back the Four Horseman, which shouldn't be done, if you're not going to do it? Just leave the Four Horseman and their fingers out of it.

            Forget all of that for a moment. Forget that TNA took a good segment by Lethal several weeks back and returned to it it in a way that made everyone feel like they were on acid. The battling Whooooos debacle, with the camera going back between Flair and Lethal, looks like it was shot by the Grateful Dead.  The real problem with this segment is that Lethal now does Flair better than Flair--and Flair was a decent Flair this time around.   When did he become such a caricature of himself?   Well, somewhere near the end of WCW.

            It was certainly after his return to Nitro in September of 1998. I can't find that promo online at the moment, but it's still my favorite moment ever in wrestling.   I really think the end of WCW, and all the crap he was put through, may have driven him insane. Either that or it was the booze.

            In all honesty, I think the deterioration of Flair's sanity goes hand in hand with the quality of his hair. Check out this classic. Good hair, good promo.

Try to ignore that unfortunate growth on Tony's face...at least he wasn't as bloated as a dog tick yet (I have it from a reliable source that his White Castle addiction was in its early stages).   Just listen to this promo--Flair cut them like this, and better, at the drop of a hat. Now he just yells a lot. It breaks my heart to say anything bad about Ric Flair. He's still better on the mic that ninety percent of people out there. He's just not as good as he used to be. The problem I have with the first clip is, like I said, Lethal does a better Flair than Flair.   I found that segment surreal, and entertaining, but also sad. Everyone loses it a bit when they get older, I guess. I'm old and I know I'm not as quick as I used to be. It sucks getting old and it sucks seeing your idols get old. But unlike basketball or boxing, (and the ill fated second return of Jordan and many returns of Mike Tyson) wrestlers don't really know when to hang it up. They can stick around forever.

Do I want Flair to retire? Not really.   Sometimes I do, but usually I don't, because when he's on, he's still one of the best. Will he continue to make me sad and nostalgic? Probably.   But then...I just look at this.

                     I'm still in love with Lollipop.   She wrote me once, you know. I'd written an article defending her showing her boobs--oh, this was about seven years ago, and she wrote to thank me for my kind words. I think I then wrote back and asked her to marry me, but I never heard back.   Since then, I've been known as the boob defender. It's a job I take seriously.

            In other news, what the hell is wrong with the internet? First, I couldn't find Flair's return to Nitro. Then I couldn't find a proper video of Lollipop dancing in a TNA cage. Now I can't find Dusty Rhodes' infamous promo on a midget beating off in a trashcan.   What the hell, internet? We used to be cool. By the way, next week I'm bringing back my column. It's not going to be called Crocker! but it's going to be the same thing. I'm using the same fingers. I'm just going to call it Fortune. Get it?