From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
Dan Crocker Predicts 2008: Fatty Randy Orton, (New Location) Joe, Baron Von Eric Arm, and More
By Dan Crocker
Jan 3, 2008 - 10:45 AM
Well, it looks like we’re going into 2008 with some momentum as far as wrestling is concerned. I’ve been pretty happy with RAW recently and TNA isn’t doing horribly. I especially like that we seem to be heading into the new year with some intriguing feuds: JBL vs. Jericho, HBK vs. Kennedy, Hardy vs. Orton and especially Flair vs. his own retirement.
When you think about it, it’s amazing that Flair has stayed vital for as long as he can. We all know that in his youth he was the best wrestler in the world (probably ever) both in the ring and on the mic. But let’s face it, he overcame a disastorous run in WCW, some back storylines in WWE and the crowd still loves him. The man just has a charisma that is undeniable and to top it all off his prime years were spent as a heel. Before the attitude era most fans just didn’t root for heels in the same way they did now. But when Flair would chop Sting across the chest, you could still hear the crowd shout WHOOO. Why? Pure respect, brother. Had I been booking RAW this week, I would have had HHH tap out, however. I really would have. I don’t think it would have hurt him at all. If done right, you could build Orton/Flair for ‘Mania and it would sell. It would sell better than Orton/HHH even. We all know Hunter will get the belt back eventually and that’s fine. He could pin Flair clean and Flair could retire.
Which, reminds me of a dream I had last night. I think it was because every new year I forgo sleep to watch as much of the Twilight Zone Marathon that I can on Sci Fi. Anyway, in my dream HHH wished to hold the title more than anyone else ever. So, in some Twilight Zone way that I can’t remember HHH and Flair kept exchanging the title back and forth until Hunter realized that Flair kept racking up more wins as well. So, HHH had him killed. Then he got so paranoid about anyone who had to beat him for the title (so that he could get another win and come closer to Flair’s record) he had them killed as well. Finally, when he was one win away from beating Flair, there was no one else for him to wrestle. This is not an allegory; I actually had this fucked up dream.
In any event, I’d like to end this title with my personal predictions for 2008: Most of them are wrestling related.
HHH admits that he isn’t the game. Monopoly is the game. HHH is just a game.
Randy Orton gets fat. Let’s face it; it’s in his genes. He can’t keep those abs forever.
Sir-Mix-a-Lot writes a tell all book—the gist of it is that he did, in fact, lie. He really isn’t that much of a fan of big butts.
The glorious return of Super Porky ends tragically when he goes to Iraq to support the troops and is mistaken by the locals as actual pork.
Flair bleeds in a match, flips over the top turn buckle, runs across the apron and gets clothes lined.
Vince McMahon finds some way to show his bare ass.
Samoa Joe moves to the states and officially changes his name to Trenton, New Jersey Joe.
Someone, somewhere, and this may seem far fetched, but I’m going out on a limb here, complains about Russo’s booking.
In TNA, and I don’t know who books this, we have a plotline that involves Eric Young having Baron von Rashke’s arm surgically attached and bringing back the deadly claw.
Crocker gets fat.
Happy New Year everyone!
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