Scene:   Anywhere HHH can shill his new DVD collection. Let’s say a bar.

Time:   Why are you looking at me? I’m high.

HHH: Game!   King of Kings!  

Jesus: To be honest, Hunter, aren’t I the King of Kings? I mean people have been calling me that for, let’s see, about 2000 years now.

HHH: Shut up, Jesus. The Game is the King of Kings. Says it right here. (points to the cover of his new DVD).   Look at that. Gotta crown.

Jesus: I wear the eternal crown of thorns, Hunter.

HHH: Yeah, that’s ok. I think Mankind did that first though. Hey Ric, didn’t Mankind do the first crown of thorns match?

Flair:   Whoooo!

Jesus:   Perhaps you could just call yourself the Game of Games?

HHH:   I’m The Game. Yhatzee! is a close second. Me and Naitch love to roll them bones, don’t we Naitch?

Flair: Bo by God ones. Whooo!

(An overweight, pasty and side-burned man walks over to the table and sits down).

Elvis: I thought I was the King?

HHH:   You are a king. King of Rock and Roll.   Just like Michael Jackson is the King of Pop and Rum-DM are the other kings of Rock . . .s. And Henny Youngman is the king of the one liners. But I’m the King, see. The Game. The King. The King of Kings, DVD says so. So that makes me your king. See how that works, that makes me the Kings of Rocks too.  Now get out of here, Honky Tonk Man.

Flair: Raleigh, North Carolina. St. Louis, Missouri, Jack Brisco, Dory Funk . . .

Jesus:   But I died for your sins.

HHH: Look, I saw your last DVD. You got the bejeezus beat out of you man.   You really sold that. But HHH don’t take beatin’s. He gives beatens.   (HHH takes a drink of a beer, leans back and spits it into the air.)   Bet you didn’t know that was a condition, did you? I ain’t been able to take a drink of anything in nine years. It’s a serious medical condition.

Flair:   Dusty Rhodes, Sting, Lubbock, Texas . . .

Jesus: What’s that guy doing?

HHH: Oh, him.   He just likes to list stuff.

You know how it ends, folks. HHH pedigrees Jesus. He now sits on the right hand of God.

Anyway, this weeks RAW made the decision for me.   There’s no way I’m dropping 55 bucks on Wrestlemania this year. Vince McMahon’s ego is so big, his frankly scary obsession with humiliating people, his insecurity is such that he has to pretend beat up the greatest wrestler that has ever lived? He hasn’t hurt Flair’s legacy enough?

It just amazes me that from Russo to McMahon, wanna-be wrestlers   insist on having their “Flair moment”. Maybe they’re living out a fantasy. Hell, I’d love to get in the ring with Ric Flair. The difference is, I’d sell. I certainly wouldn’t have him being saved by HBK while wrestling my pasty old ass.

This entire thing has just gotten out of hand. I’m afraid to buy Wrestlemania. I’m afraid they’re going to let Flair go out like a punk. Good thing his legacy is bullet proof.