Search
Stalk Us On Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Add Us On Myspace Grab Our RSS Feed


Crocker! Hulk's Micro Championship Wrestling Rules

By Dan Crocker Oct 13, 2011 - 2:00 PM

Although it's obviously scripted from start to finish and written badly at that, Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling has become required watching for me and my daughter. We love it. I think part of the allure for my daughter is that Blixx looks like her ex-boyfriend--stature and all.

 

 This was almost my son-in-law.

 

What also makes it entertaining, of course, is that these folks can wrestle.   I wish they showed more of the matches and less of the fake arguing on the bus and people kissing Hogan's ass. I especially like watching Justice and Sampson, and of course, it's hard to go wrong with a wrestler named Meatball. Meatball bills himself as the world's largest professional midget.   Somewhere out three, I'm sure there's a rather fat little person, working as a dentist, who would take umbrage to this.

 

Of course, there are some hilarious scenes as well. Even though all involved are obviously reading off cue cards during the interview segments and everything else is scripted, some of it's so bad it's good. I laughed like crazy when Blixx called Sampson a Yankee. I've lived in the deep south and I never heard anyone use that as an insult. The whole storyline of Trixie not being able to wrestle and then suddenly being the second coming of Lou Thesz reeks of bad Hollywood writers, but it can't be any worse than Real Steel, right?

 

 

By the way, this movie has everything for men. It has the down and out boxer of the Rocky movies. It has the disillusioned son from Over the Top. It has Hugh Jackman spouting platitudes like "Bring it!"   and it has the fighting robots from every movie script I've ever dreamed of writing. I can't wait to see it.   Though it does bring one question to mind: Who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Gorilla?   What if the gorilla was a down and out pug from New Jersey that had one last chance to prove himself? Then again, if the bear needed to win one more fight so that his mother could get the operation that would save her life, things would really get interesting.

 

In any event, back over at MCW Johnny G. spends most of his time either mucking everything up (firing Blixx, hiring Johnny Vegas, etc) or kissing Hogan's feet. Still, it didn't take long for him to grow on me. In my house, it's become quite the fad for everyone to try out their Johnny G. impersonations at the most awkward of times. Here's an example in case you haven't heard him:

 

 

My wife drew then line when I tried it during sex. Also, if you'd like to quote this interview for your own pleasure, I suggest using the line, "The midgets came with me!"   Say it in odd places, like the line at Wal-Mart, in the most indignant way possible.    Also, notice the Hogan worship.

 

I actually find myself liking Brian Knobbs in this and I've never liked him before in anything. He just seems like a friendly, fun guy that I'd like to hangout at a bar with. Of course, he also looks like he could stroke out at any minute, but so do I. So, it's all right. He seems like a guy that's happy with what he's doing. He obviously just likes being the the business, being around the wrestlers, ribbing people on the bus, etc. His happiness is pretty contagious.

 

Finally, JG, you have to get me an autographed picture of Trixie Dynamite. I know you've got the connections. Hook me up.

 

 

Overall, if you haven't watched this yet then you don't know what you are missing. It's an oddly surreal look at an independent wrestling organization that seems so scripted you wonder if you're really getting any inside information or not. However, if you're like me, you'll also really start to like the guys and gals of MCW and find yourself rooting for their success.   

 


blog comments powered by Disqus

Latest Headlines From This Category:

 

(30 Mins) James Bullock's "Honor Nation": The Internet Pay-Per-View No One Saw
(21 Mins) JG's Audio Insanity: Everybody's Steve Austin Now
(23 Mins) "Winterz Wonderland" with Jason Winterz: TBS at 6:05
(23 Mins) JG's Audio Insanity: King Mo Money, King Mo Problems
(16 Mins) Complete and Utter Bulldog: Yes!


Powered by Disqus


JG's 4/2/12 Raw Insanity: They Get Rock, They Get Brock, They Want Daniel Bryan
JG's 3/16 Smackdown Insanity: The Ginger Brogue Man Hurts His Face, The Peep of Ace's, and Kane Don't Shake No Hands
JG's 3/5 Raw Insanity: The Rock Talks Us To Death
JG's 2/27 Raw Insanity: Kung Pow Cena Tattles on The Rock's Cheat Sheet
JG's 2/21/12 Smackdown Insanity: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Share a Pin
JG's Ten False Wrestling Rumors That Everybody's Heard
JG's Ten Life Lessons I've Learned From Wrestling Commentary
JG's Ten Awful Pieces Of Official Wrestling Merchandise
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters With Undiagnosed Medical Conditions
JG's Ten Unforgettable Jobbers
JG's Ten Old School Managers For Ten Current Stars
JG's Ten Good Guy Wrestling Characters Who Would Have Been Great Heels
JG's Ten Old School Things Wrestling Got Rid Of (and No One Missed)
JG's Ten Annoying Things About Being a Wrestling Fan
JG's 8/15 Raw Insanity: Diesel Texts Himself Into The CM Punk Storyline
JG's 7/25 Raw Insanity: And a Hunter Shall Lead Them
JG's Insanity: The Time Traveling Announce Team Crime Fighter Heroes
James Guttman Responds to: Yahoo's Article on WrestleMania VII's Death Count
JG's Ten Wrestling Matches We Never Got To See (But Thought We Would)
JG's Ten Wrestling Bad Guys Who Were Completely Right
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters That Ended Too Soon
JG's Ten Untrue Things Your Grandmother Believes About Wrestling
JG's 25 Easy Ways To Get Instant Heat In The WWE Locker Room
JG's Ten Wrestling Villains With No Endgame
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Ten Wrestlers Your Non-Wrestling Fan Girlfriend Would Hate
JG's Ten Least Intimidating Wrestling Names
JG's Insanity Notebook: A Very Immortal Thanksgiving, King Sheamus, Extreme NXT, Nobody Pats Down Edge, and More

Click Here For More JG...

You Know, I've Been Thinking: MMA and Pro-Wrestling Just Don't Mix
Canadian Bulldog Presents... WrestleReunion VIII: A Photo Essay
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Not Only Is This About Wacky Tag Teams, But It's Also A Sendoff to Dustin Rhodes
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Heyman Nice Shot, Drink Some Bleach For CM Punk, Redneck Island, Mansionmania, Crash of Honor, and More
Wrestling & The Movies: A Rant by Mike Johns
Canadian Bulldog Presents... Rejected John Cena Action Figures
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Two Heads Are Better Than One
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: WWE's Extreme Lesnar Error, The Mizrine, Hightailing Hulk Hogan, Dean Douglas Flunks Promoting 101, and more
Crocker! Dixie Carter, Meth Labs, Google Bischoff, and That One Time Knobbs Moved In
#FollowTheTweeter: Hulk Hogan Talks Change, Earl Hebner's 100,000th Match, Extreme Reunion's Epic Fail & Much More
Bulldog's DVD Rack: Scott Hall Shoot Interview
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: That's No Way To Go Out...
RDLee Presents: The Prediction Pre-Show: Extreme Rules According To WWE '12
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Lowballing Edge, Woo Woo Woo You're Censored, Hulk's Python Shows Up Online, Jon Jones Has Jabby Elbows, and More
Crocker! How To Live Alone
Something Completely Different: Some Of My Favorite Wrestling Shows
Dear Scott Steiner: Your Advice Columnist Hookup
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Kenny Powers Counts Savage's Shoulders Down
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Bumping Otunga, Eric Loses His Bischoff, Dixie Wants More TV, Smoky Mountain of Honor, and More
SHIMMERingWarlock presents ArenaChicks: Volume 1 - A Video Review
Inside The Ropes: Here Comes The Paint, Y2Junkie, Being Interviewed With A Broken Freaking Brain AND MORE!!!
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Wrestlemania Revenge Ends With Vengeance
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Stooging Lesnar, Ciao Bellas, The 500k Ref Bump, #ThanksMick, Mrs. O.D. Young, Overeem Brings His Tainted Pee to Nevada, and More
You Know, I've Been Thinking: John Cena Can't Be Buried and The Story of Edge

Click Here For More Columns...





  All content contained here Copyright 2012 by James Guttman