Search
Stalk Us On Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Add Us On Myspace Grab Our RSS Feed


Crocker! Filling Three Hours, CM Punk Punches Us In The Nose, Clean and Hardy, and More

By Dan Crocker Nov 17, 2011 - 2:00 PM

Oh wrestling!   Everything old is new again. This includes Mick Foley and the Rock. Obviously, the Rock has aged a bit better. I love Foley. I think he's intelligent, a decent enough writer, and good on the mic. His wrestling days are over, however. In all honesty, he was always entertaining in the ring but never technically a top notch wrestler. He could just put his body through a bit more pain than the next guy. Still, it was pretty nice to see Foley and Rock back together again. At least I thought it was going to be, but in the end the segment just fell flat. The "This is your life" thing went on too long and was agonizing.   All of this just to set up the Rockbottom on Mick.   I understand that they had three hours to fill and were probably scrambling a bit. You know how to fix that problem?   Don't have a three hour long show.

 

We did get to see Bull Buchanan. Take that for what you will.   One of the big problems with this segment was that those involved kept talking about how bad it was as it was going on. The only other place you but be so adament about how bad something is and yet continue is in bed with a wife you've been married to for forty years.

 

            "Jesus, honey, what are you doing . .. what . . . This is awful."

           

            "Want me to stop?"

 

            "Nah."

 

 

It happened in the opening segment as well.   All that bullshit between Cole and Ross. The armwrestling, the dancing, it all sucked. So, Punk comes out and tells us all how much it sucked. You know, that doesn't actually make it better. It's like if I punched someone in the nose and then said, "You know what. That wasn't very cool of me."   Their freakin' nose still hurts. WWE has got to be pretty damned confident that their key audience will sit through any shit.   And we will.   We're like Pavlov's dogs.  

 

I have a question? Is WWE now working for Twitter? I swear, they mentioned it at least 9,000 times.

 

Now on to the good news.   I'll let a picture do the talking:

 

 

 That's right, my fiance is back in TNA.

 

TNA also had a recent PPV, of course. I didn't watch it. It doesn't sound like I missed much. By all accounts, it made people as sad as Kermit the Frog.

 

 

Apparently Jeff Hardy beat Jeff Jarrett three times in short order during the PPV. That's almost as many times as he shot heroin during the PPV.   I kid!   We all hope Hardy is clean and healthy.   Of course, after the clean chair shot Jarrett gave him, who knows. I thought we were past chair shots in wrestling. Not that I'm complaining. In my day we gave chair shots to students, during church, weddings. It didn't matter. We were tougher back then--unless you gave us a pile driver anywhere but in the ring. Also, some of us were a little susceptible to the claw. You wouldn't think it, but that shit hurts.

 

 

All right folks.   I'll see you next week.


blog comments powered by Disqus

Latest Headlines From This Category:

 

(30 Mins) James Bullock's "Honor Nation": The Internet Pay-Per-View No One Saw
(21 Mins) JG's Audio Insanity: Everybody's Steve Austin Now
(23 Mins) "Winterz Wonderland" with Jason Winterz: TBS at 6:05
(23 Mins) JG's Audio Insanity: King Mo Money, King Mo Problems
(16 Mins) Complete and Utter Bulldog: Yes!


Powered by Disqus


JG's 4/2/12 Raw Insanity: They Get Rock, They Get Brock, They Want Daniel Bryan
JG's 3/16 Smackdown Insanity: The Ginger Brogue Man Hurts His Face, The Peep of Ace's, and Kane Don't Shake No Hands
JG's 3/5 Raw Insanity: The Rock Talks Us To Death
JG's 2/27 Raw Insanity: Kung Pow Cena Tattles on The Rock's Cheat Sheet
JG's 2/21/12 Smackdown Insanity: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Share a Pin
JG's Ten False Wrestling Rumors That Everybody's Heard
JG's Ten Life Lessons I've Learned From Wrestling Commentary
JG's Ten Awful Pieces Of Official Wrestling Merchandise
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters With Undiagnosed Medical Conditions
JG's Ten Unforgettable Jobbers
JG's Ten Old School Managers For Ten Current Stars
JG's Ten Good Guy Wrestling Characters Who Would Have Been Great Heels
JG's Ten Old School Things Wrestling Got Rid Of (and No One Missed)
JG's Ten Annoying Things About Being a Wrestling Fan
JG's 8/15 Raw Insanity: Diesel Texts Himself Into The CM Punk Storyline
JG's 7/25 Raw Insanity: And a Hunter Shall Lead Them
JG's Insanity: The Time Traveling Announce Team Crime Fighter Heroes
James Guttman Responds to: Yahoo's Article on WrestleMania VII's Death Count
JG's Ten Wrestling Matches We Never Got To See (But Thought We Would)
JG's Ten Wrestling Bad Guys Who Were Completely Right
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters That Ended Too Soon
JG's Ten Untrue Things Your Grandmother Believes About Wrestling
JG's 25 Easy Ways To Get Instant Heat In The WWE Locker Room
JG's Ten Wrestling Villains With No Endgame
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Ten Wrestlers Your Non-Wrestling Fan Girlfriend Would Hate
JG's Ten Least Intimidating Wrestling Names
JG's Insanity Notebook: A Very Immortal Thanksgiving, King Sheamus, Extreme NXT, Nobody Pats Down Edge, and More

Click Here For More JG...

You Know, I've Been Thinking: MMA and Pro-Wrestling Just Don't Mix
Canadian Bulldog Presents... WrestleReunion VIII: A Photo Essay
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Not Only Is This About Wacky Tag Teams, But It's Also A Sendoff to Dustin Rhodes
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Heyman Nice Shot, Drink Some Bleach For CM Punk, Redneck Island, Mansionmania, Crash of Honor, and More
Wrestling & The Movies: A Rant by Mike Johns
Canadian Bulldog Presents... Rejected John Cena Action Figures
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Two Heads Are Better Than One
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: WWE's Extreme Lesnar Error, The Mizrine, Hightailing Hulk Hogan, Dean Douglas Flunks Promoting 101, and more
Crocker! Dixie Carter, Meth Labs, Google Bischoff, and That One Time Knobbs Moved In
#FollowTheTweeter: Hulk Hogan Talks Change, Earl Hebner's 100,000th Match, Extreme Reunion's Epic Fail & Much More
Bulldog's DVD Rack: Scott Hall Shoot Interview
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: That's No Way To Go Out...
RDLee Presents: The Prediction Pre-Show: Extreme Rules According To WWE '12
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Lowballing Edge, Woo Woo Woo You're Censored, Hulk's Python Shows Up Online, Jon Jones Has Jabby Elbows, and More
Crocker! How To Live Alone
Something Completely Different: Some Of My Favorite Wrestling Shows
Dear Scott Steiner: Your Advice Columnist Hookup
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Kenny Powers Counts Savage's Shoulders Down
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Bumping Otunga, Eric Loses His Bischoff, Dixie Wants More TV, Smoky Mountain of Honor, and More
SHIMMERingWarlock presents ArenaChicks: Volume 1 - A Video Review
Inside The Ropes: Here Comes The Paint, Y2Junkie, Being Interviewed With A Broken Freaking Brain AND MORE!!!
This Week In WWE Vintage Collection History: Wrestlemania Revenge Ends With Vengeance
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Stooging Lesnar, Ciao Bellas, The 500k Ref Bump, #ThanksMick, Mrs. O.D. Young, Overeem Brings His Tainted Pee to Nevada, and More
You Know, I've Been Thinking: John Cena Can't Be Buried and The Story of Edge

Click Here For More Columns...





  All content contained here Copyright 2012 by James Guttman