It's been a tough few weeks for your old Uncle Cracker. First, it's the end of one semester and the start of another one, so I'm very busy.
Then, JG suspended me a week for kicking the Arizona state flag. Look, I said, "Hey Arizona. I'm sorry for stepping on your wonderful flag representing your wonderful (if you are white and straight) state."
Still, JG wasn't buying it. Thus the suspension. Oh well, it gives me time to tour with my rock band, Fizzy.
All right, I get it, but let's move on people. Desecrating flags is a time-honored professional wrestling tradition.
Don't believe me, look for yourself:
One of these dudes is going to kiss a flag. He'll probably use tongue. I don't know about you, but if I was a flag, I'd rather be kicked.
Of course, it was easier to mess with a flag in the old days. Back then, a lot of folks still thought wrestling was real. So if you messed with someone's flag, they just wanted to pay more money to see you get your ass handed to you. Now that we all know it's scripted, no one really wants to pay money to see the asshole that kicked a flag.
Here's another example:
Of course, in this example, we're talking about Canada so no one cares.
What are the Canadians going to do, intimidate us with a vigorous leaflet campaign?
So, that's two of my all time wrestling favorites caught desecrating a flag. So, let's add in a third favorite of mine to round it out:
That's an Armani freakin' suit he's elbow dropping there people!
Where was the outrage?!
This does put WWE in a bit of a bind though, especially since Fartin' Randy Orton is also suspended. His is for the wellness policy, however, and I'm fully behind this. This is what he gets for breaking down and eating a Big Mac.
C'mon, Randy, you don't get abs like that by living off of the McDonald's Dollar Menu. I should know.
This now leaves RAW without two of its top stars. With Lesnar only showing up every other toenail moon, WWE has no choice but to create some new starts, right?
Nah, expect to see Cena and Big Show roll around like a couple of barely animated ham-hocks for the next month.
In other news, TNA went live Thursday!
That is, all of TNA except Hulk Hogan goes live tonight. He's been dead and controlled solely by electrodes for years.
TNA should also continue along with this new approach they have. In fact, they're kicking it up. They are apparently showing behind the scenes, unscripted stuff.
I don't know if I buy it. I am of the belief that if it's a wrestling show and you see it on TV, it's scripted.
I'm not happy with it. It's just further and further diminishing wrestling and pushing Sports Entertainment. Plus, who the hell wants to be watching a nice episode of How I Met Your Mother only to have Ted walk off the stage to take a bathroom break and the director to come in and start giving advice?
Oh well, don't mind me. I'm old and I hate change. Until next week, Shine On!
