Matt Dawgs
T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: Funkasaurus Funkin' Bore Us, Jarrett Chooses Wisteria Lane Over Genesis, The First Lady of ROH, Cyborg's Positive, and More
By Matt Dawgs
Jan 13, 2012 - 8:13 AM

T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: #140

Good day to you all and welcome to World Wrestling Insanity. I am your host for today, Matt Dawgs and this is my column. Today is the end of the work week and the time to look back at all the goings-on over the past seven days as I wrap it up with a bow and spout it out bit by bit. Buckle up. Let's go...

CLUB WWI NEWS: Thousands of hours in audio.  Hundreds of guests.  And the upcoming return of Paul Roma to discsuss the Horsemen in the Hall of Fame.  Yup! . CLUB WWI !!! DO IT!!!! DO IT NOW!!!!!

WWE News and Notes

- Normally I try to go in order with what happened on RAW or in WWE depending on importance however I cannot this week. Why you ask? Because I would like to discuss WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT F*CKING CRAP THAT HAPPENED WITH BRODUS CLAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! In case you missed it, after what felt like 2 months of build up for Brodus Clay debuting. Including video packages of him being a monster and interview clips of him saying he likes to cause pain and hurt people, Brodus Clay came out similar to Flash Funk (Too Cold Scorpio in WWE fame) dancing with two girls to a song titled “Somebody Call My Momma” and used the nickname “The Funkasaurus”. He ended up squashing Curt Hawkins and did a lot of dancing. It was 100%, complete and utter garbage.

- Brodus Clay RE-DEBUT VIDEO .

- Brodus DISCUSSES his debut.

- Now I am at a loss as to what happens from here. WWE is a different time than it was in the “Attitude Era”. It isn’t easy to change a character from a gimmick that is type casted to FAIL into something serious. WWE tried it with Rikishi during the Attitude Era and no one bought it. FAILED MISERABLY. The gimmick of “The Funkasauras” may get over with the crowd now. They might laugh or cheer and kids may love it. But when it comes time to push him as a serious contender, it will be difficult. A back-story on why Clay debuted how he debuted was brought up by DAVE MELTZER several weeks back. Apparently when he was asked by WWE Creative if they had any ideas on what he will do when he is brought back, he specifically told them that he had an idea to be pushed as a monster heel that didn’t lose and sold little. He can then “hurt” people and say he is inducting them into his “Hall of Pain”. Sound familiar? If it does it is because WWE stole the idea from Clay and gave it to Mark Henry. By doing that, if you have one Mark Henry on the roster, you have no need for 2 Mark Henry’s. Problem is, why take someone who can draw you money (which Clay can because he has a unique look and isn’t completely incompetent in the ring.) and stick him with something that has prelim guy written all over it? I do not know.

- What I do know is that Clay did show a hell of a lot of charisma in the ring. Between his dancing and being all wacky to his comments while throwing around poor Curt Hawkins, he showed that he “gets it” and can connect with a crowd. While unlikely, WWE managed to do something similar to Dusty Rhodes when he debuted in WWE YEARS ago and Dusty was so full of charisma, he took a crappy gimmick (the Common Man Dusty Rhodes a.k.a. a plumber/handyman/regular guy who wore polka dots) and managed to get it way over with the fans. I’d be shocked if Clay can do that but who knows.

- In case you did not notice, one of Clay’s dancers was Ariane Andrews from Tough Enough fame. You remember, the girl whose favorite match ever was Melina vs. Alicia Fox. So for the record, she was the first person eliminated and by far the worst of the cast yet is the first person to make it to RAW full time, before Tough Enough Winner Andy Leavine. WOW.

- After that, RAW was Abysmal, completely abysmal. I am flabbergasted by this entire Kane/John Cena story. Just horrible, horrible stuff. This is the worst Kane angle I have seen since Katie Vick. I am dead serious. The whole Zack Ryder being frightened to death of him does nothing at all but bury Ryder. I mean he is being killed DEAD by this. How can he try to break through from mid-card comedy act if they make him a joke? Newsflash, Wrestlers shouldn’t be scared of other wrestlers. Add that to the whole “horror movie” scene with Ryder trying to change the tire because it was flat, Eve locked in the car while Kane KILLS him was one of the worst skits in WWE history. It is almost as if WWE was looking to see how bad they can book a program from beginning to end.

- FYI...the Zack Ryder flat tire segment followed by Kane killing him drew a 2.3 quarter hour rating. That is the lowest quarter hour segment WWE has drawn...IN A DECADE. WOW.

- Has there ever been, in the entire history of wrestling, a more racist caricature of a character than R-Truth is? Ever? Don’t get me wrong, Truth is funny. Funnier than I ever thought he could be. But come on bro, the character is a blatant racist stereotype. I wouldn’t be shocked at all if they had him talk about fried chicken, watermelon and grape soda. Jesus Christ, how come no one is saying anything about him? Where is the “Be A Star” people? Whatever happened to the “PTC”?

- How nervous is the referee who refereed the CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger match right now every time his cell phone rings? In case you didn’t see it, the referee blew the finish of the match by counting to 3 when it wasn’t the actual finish of the match. CM Punk was PISSED. If you watch Punk, he looked upset, threw his gum and cursed under his breath. Swagger was dumbfounded and Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler practically crucified the referee on the air both saying it was a blown call (which they were probably getting the brunt of it from Vince McMahon via their headsets). The last time something like that happened on RAW, the referee was wished well on his Future Endeavors later that week.

- I am torn on Edge being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I am not saying he doesn’t deserve it because he absolutely does. He has had a great career, innovative matches and wasn’t expected to be on the level he retired at. He was a mid-carder/upper card guy who when given the ball, ran with it to heights no one in WWE management thought he could get. So he is a definitely Hall of Famer, for sure. But he only retired a year ago. By putting Edge in right now, you are limiting the main event Hall of Fame class (and in all honesty, the Rock should go in this year since they are in Miami). By putting Edge in along with the Four Horsemen and that limits who else goes in. (Mil Mascaras is also going in as WWE announced it in Mexico in October.) That likely means no Macho Man this year as well. Edge should have been held off until Mania in Toronto or at least a few more years. This year is too soon in my book. Edge being inducted now makes him the youngest Hall of Famer in WWE history at age 38. The previous distinction was Tammy “Sunny” Sytch last year.

- I am ecstatic about the Four Horsemen being inducted into the Hall of Fame though. Now before anyone goes crazy, Ric Flair is more than likely going to appear on camera for WWE. No way does WWE induct the Horsemen and feature Flair prominently in the video package without having some sort of deal with him. Dixie Carter is fair to her main event talent and I do not see why she wouldn’t let Flair be honored. She did in fact let Flair attend the HOF last year as a guest so that says something. Flair will be there, mark my words.

- Edge Hall of Fame PACKAGE .

- Four Horsemen Hall of Fame PACKAGE .

- MIKE JOHNSON is reporting that WWE is also planning on inducting Yokozuna into the Hall of Fame this year as well.

- With Randy Orton iffy due to his back injury, there is talk of having Jericho win the Rumble instead since he is penciled in to face CM Punk at Mania. They can get Orton to the World title via Elimination Chamber or another way.

- In what is MAJOR WWE NETWORK NEWS, WWE has decided internally that April 1st will not be feasible to launch the WWE Network. The launch has now been pushed back to Fall of 2012 which gives WWE more time to begin shooting original programming, hire a program director and a staff to complete their line-up/schedule and get cable provider clearances. Launching in April would have been nothing more than a flop. Good thing someone convinced McMahon to hold off. Now hopefully they get their eyes on the prize and make something happen.

- WWE has cut a PPV from the calendar meaning that are going back to 12 PPV’s in a calendar year. This is good considering due to having 13 PPV’s a year; some PPV’s would only have 2 weeks of build which was difficult to book.

- Antonio Cesaro (Claudio Castagnoli from ROH) worked the RAW live event loop last weekend teaming with Michael McGuillicuty.

- Mick Foley and his family are going to be featured on the ABC show “Wife Swap” on January 24th.

- Former WWE Diva and current adult film star Chyna is currently filming an adult film titled “Ring Queen” which will be about professional wrestling and will parody several professional wrestling stars. The film is set to be released in March.

- F-U A-Rod and your half a billion dollars you earned in your lifetime as well as KISSING Torrie Wilson at the Staples Center during a Los Angeles Laker game and sitting in a HOT TUB with her.

- Former WWE talent Michael Tarver announced that he has begun training for an MMA career. Tarver has trained as a professional boxer in the past so that should help him but picking up the other nuances of MMA at his age is going to be difficult.

- ESPN Financial Analysts Michael Steele is reporting that John Cena was worth $106,000,000.00 in retail revenue in 2010. That is $106 million. That speaks volumes as to why WWE refuses to turn him heel. WOWSERS.


- Episode 47 of “ Z! True Long Island Story

- Episode 48 of “ Z! True Long Island Story ” or is it? Where’s Zack?

WWE “ROYAL RUMBLE” PPV is on January 29, 2012 from St. Louis Missouri and the line-up is as follows:

  • 30 Man Royal Rumble Match featuring Jinder Mahal, Sheamus, Santino Marella, Wade Barrett and more.
  • WWE TITLE: CM Punk (c) vs. US Champion Dolph Ziggler with Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and interim General Manager of RAW Mr. John Laurinaitis as special guest referee.


- I always give credit where credit is due. Props and kudos go to TNA who have been in business for 10 YEARS now. 10 years. WOW. That is an incredible feat considering the promotion is run by inept morons who couldn’t book a show to save their lives. Also never making a profit in 10 years yet still managing to be in business is a major accomplishment!!

- Rap Star Rick Ross was backstage at the TNA PPV on Sunday. Really, true story.

- Since we are on the subject of PPV, what is the point of having PPVs in the first place? Last night on Impact, Bobby Roode defended the TNA title against Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle wrestled James Storm. They were rematches of the same exact matches that took place on Sunday at the PPV.

- TNA announced this week that they plan on taping Impact from the Wembley Arena on January 28th. That is a good deal for them to tape outside the United States. I am sure it isn’t cheap but by all accounts, TNA does some of their best numbers in the UK and should draw a good, lively crowd. Easily should set a new TNA attendance record.

- TNA noted in the press release that it will be Sting’s FINAL MATCH in the UK which is the selling point.

- Just when I think TNA cannot surprise me anymore, they manage to do so. On Sunday, Jeff Jarrett was tweeting about the show Desperate Housewives as well as the Pittsburgh Steelers game on television. Why is this significant? Because both of those took place during the TNA Genesis PPV. So basically Jeff, who works in TNA management, was not watching the PPV. Amazing.

Independent / International News and Notes:

- Former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis is now being called “The First Lady of ROH” when accompanying Mike Bennett to ringside for matches. She is planning on working several major ROH events in 2012 including the Wrestlemania weekend events in Miami and most NY television tapings and iPPV’s.

- Former ROH wrestler and the inaugural Urban Wrestling Federation champion Rache Brown announced his retirement on Monday citing medical reasons following several concussions throughout his career.

- Former ROH Star Ricky Reyes of the Havana Pitbulls worked the latest television taping as well as former WCW star Crowbar. Crowbar is expected to work a few television tapings on the North East going forward by putting over younger talent. Kind of like an enhancement role. Reyes was more of a tryout with the company.

- Ring of Honor has added an additional iPPV for March. The 10th Anniversary show on Sunday March 4th (Hey JG, Bulldog and Wood, we going?) has been added from New York City. This means they will have 3 iPPV’s in March as both the March 30th and March 31st shows on Wrestlemania weekend are iPPV’s.

- Gabe Sapolsky’s EVOLVE promotion will put on what is expected to be the FINAL SHOW in the ECW arena tomorrow night. As a tribute, Sapolsky has contacted several former ECW talents to attend the show and share their feelings on the arena following his “EVOLVE 10” card. Confirmed to be attending are Shane Douglas, New Jack, Balls Mahoney, The Sandman and WWE’s Joey Styles. The show will be a double-shot with Combat Zone Wrestling hosting the matinee show at 2:30 pm ET. Both cards can be found below.


CZW WRESTLING returns TOMORROW AFTERNOON from the ECW arena in Philadelphia PA and the line-up is as follows:

  • CZW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Devon Moore (c) vs. Adam Cole
  • CZW JR. HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Sami Callihan (c) vs. Blk-Out 's Rich Swann
  • CZW TAG TEAM TITLES: Azrieal & Bandido Jr. (c) vs. The Blk-Out (Alex Colon & Ruckus)
  • Former CZW Owner John Zandig makes his return to CZW vs. DJ Hyde in a CZW Death Match.
  • “Bulldozer” Matt Tremont vs. Drew Gulak
  • Ryan McBride vs. Derek Frazier
  • Eddie Kingston vs. Joker
  • A.R. Fox vs. Uhaa Nation
  • Greg Excellent vs. Mia Yim

EVOLE returns TOMORROW NIGHT from the ECW arena in Philadelphia PA and the line-up is as follows:

  • DGUSA OPEN THE FREEDOM GATE TITLE: Johnny Gargano (c) vs. Ricochet
  • Super Smash Brothers vs. Chuck Taylor & Rich Swann
  • AR Fox vs. Jigsaw
  • Pinkie Sanchez vs. Uhaa Nation
  • Sami Callihan vs. Bobby Fish.
  • The Scene Of Caleb Konley & Scott Reed vs. Alex Reynolds & John Silver
  • Cheech vs. Cloudy
  • Plus: Kyle Matthews, Jon Davis and more.

MMA News and Notes

- Strikeforce was dealt a HUGE blow last weekend when it was announced that Women’s 145 lb champion Cristiane “ CYBORG ” Santos was suspended by the California State Athletic Commission for ONE YEAR due to testing positive for steroids. Strikeforce will in fact strip her of her title and will not appeal the ruling. Santos tested positive for Stanozolol (Winstrol) which pretty much guarantees that it was not an “accident” testing or false reading due to supplements (even though that is what triggered the positive). If you test positive for Stanozolol or Deca Durabolin, then it is virtually guaranteed that you are taking it for performance enhancing purposes since those forms of steroids are not found in supplements.

- Scott Coker is claiming that they plan on keeping the 145 pound division however Dana White thinks that the division will likely be folded, especially with Santos out of action for a year.

- Dana White told website MMA Fight Corner that he GUARANTEES that MMA will be sanctioned in New York before the end of 2012. That is a BOLD statement to make considering a lot of people have to vote on that to get it to pass.

- Poor referee Kim Winslow. One of the few female referees in MMA was referring the Muhammad “King Mo” Lawal vs. Lorenz Larkin fight at the Strikeforce show last weekend and she absolutely let Lawal POUND Larkin into unconsciousness. If you see the replay on Showtime, Winslow let Lawal ground and pound away stopping the fight about 4 solid punches too late.

- Winslow wasn’t the only ref to have a bad night as there were late stoppages and poor stand ups all night long including one by Herb Dean who is regarded as the best referee in MMA today.

- Alistar Overeem passed his pre-fight and post-fight drug tests. He is steroid free. He has two more random tests scheduled over the next 6 months as part of his conditional license to fight Brock Lesnar.

- Dan Henderson recently turned down a fight with former Pride FC rival Antonio “Lil Nog” Rogerio Nogueira due to wanting a shot at Jon Jones. Henderson, who has a loss to Lil Nog on his record, wants to avenge the loss, however feels that it isn’t a fight fans want to see. Hendo thinks that if Rashad Evans loses to Phil Davis then he will slide into the slot as Jones next opponent. He stated that when he turned down the Lil Nog fight, he was also under the impression that Dana White was not 100% committed to giving Evans the next title shot and that he was thinking about Evans vs. Henderson first. (White has since confirmed that Evans gets Jones next should he beat Davis).

- Of course Henderson might get the next shot regardless of what happens in the Evans/Davis fight because Jon Jones has notified Dana White that he wants to fight, and fight soon.

- UFC launched an XBOX application where you can see clips, videos and order UFC from through your XBOX. They launched this prior to UFC 141 and announced that the first 30,000 users to download the application would get 141 for free. While many did, when UFC 141 came along, the application’s server couldn’t handle the high demand and crashed thus leaving many people in the dark. Well XBOX Live has since revealed that those who ordered the event and did not get it, including the people who were scheduled to get it for free will get this weekend’s UFC 142 for free. They are also granting 1 month of XBOX Live for free.

- Things are going to get very interesting as UFC on Fox moves along because Fox has penciled in UFC on FOX 3 for May 5th. That is the date of the next Floyd Mayweather fight on PPV and it is possible that the fight will be against Manny Pacquiao (unlikely but possible). Either way, Floyd is going to take a HUGE number of viewers from UFC and if it is against Pacquiao then it will be one of the lowest rated UFC’s EVER.


- UFC Octagon Girls Chandella Powell and Arianny Celeste HANGING OUT .

- Haywire 5-minute TEASER .

UFC 142 is TOMORROW NIGHT from Rio de Janeiro Brazil and the line-up is as follows:

  • FEATHERWEIGHT TITLE: Jose Aldo (c) vs. Chad Mendes
  • Vitor Belfort vs. Anthony Johnson
  • Rousimar Palhares vs, Mke Massenzio
  • Erick Silva vs, Siyar Bahadurzada
  • Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim

UFC on FX is on January 20th from Nashville Tennessee and the line-up is as follows:

  • Melvin Guillard vs. Jim Miller
  • Duage Ludwig vs. Josh Neer
  • Pat Barry vs. Christian Morecraft

UFC on FOX 2 is on January 28th from Chicago Illinois and the line-up is as follows:

  • Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis
  • Chael Sonnen vs. Mark Munoz
  • Michael Bisping vs. Demian Maia

UFC 143 is on February 4th from Las Vegas Nevada and the line-up is as follows:\

  • INTERIM WELTERWEIGHT TITLE: Carlos Condit vs. Nick Diaz
  • Josh Koscheck vs. Mike Pierce
  • Fabricio Werdum vs. Roy Nelson
  • Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier

UFC ON FUEL is on February 15th from Omaha Nebraska and the line-up is as follows:

  • Diego Sanchez vs, Jake Ellenberger
  • Stefan Struve vs. Dave Herman
  • Jonathan Brookins vs. Rani Yahya
  • Aaron Simpson vs. Ronny Markes

UFC 144 is on February 26th from Tokyo Japan and the line-up is as follows:

  • LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE: Frankie Edgar (c) vs. Ben Henderson
  • Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Ryan Bader
  • Jake Shields vs. Yoshiro Akiyama
  • Joe Lauzon vs. Anthony Pettis
  • Chieck Kongo vs. Mark Hunt

STRIKEFORCE: “Tate vs. Rousey” is on March 3rd from Columbus Ohio and the line-up is as follows:

  • TBD HEAVYWEIGHT GRAND PRIX FINALS: (TBD depending on the injury to Daniel Cormier). Josh Barnett vs. Daniel Corimer
  • WOMEN’s 135lb TITLE: Miesha Tate (c) vs. Ronda Rousey
  • K.J. Noons vs. Josh Thomson
  • Paul Daley vs. Kazuo Misaki
  • Sarah Kaufman vs. Alexis Davis

UFC 145 is on March 24th from Montreal Quebec Canada and the line-up is as follows:

  • Main Event: TBD
  • Rory MacDonald vs. Che Mills
  • Ben Rothwell vs. Brendan Schaub
  • Travis Browne vs. Chad Griggs
  • Mark Hominick vs. Eddie Yagin

Random Thoughts, Links, Pics, ETC.

- Random VIDEO of the week: This is probably one of the realist videos I have ever seen. True friendship right here.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week: Tim Tebow. All he does it WIN.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 2: I love how no one bothers to tell them that they are on the air. LOL.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 3: Real or Fake?

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 4: Just because.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 5: Life alerting drum solo.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 6: KATE MOTHER F’N UPTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember, she is 19 years old folks. NINE-TEEN!!!!!!!!

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 7: it is funny cause I hate cats yet Lions are my favorite animal. Weird right. Anyway, I really wished this glass broke and the lion got free and mauled the f*cking schmucks who were taunting him. Yes, EVEN the little kids. Bastards.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 8: If you ever questioned if the Make-a-Wish Foundation wasn’t awesome, then this video should change your mind. AWESOMENESS.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 9: This is a messed up prank. WOW.

- BONUS Random VIDEO of the week PART 10: Remember a few weeks ago when I posted a video of an iPad dropping at 10,000 feet in a G-Force case and still working? Well how about at 100,000 feet? You know, from space?

- Random PIC of the week: Yup. My city. This was found outside a Footlocker in the Bronx. JESUS H. CHRIST. That is a rat folks.

- BONUS Random PIC of the week: Hollywood needs more originality.

- BONUS Random PIC of the week PART 2: Lunchbox winning.

- FUN on FACEBOOK : So lovely.

- BONUS FUN on FACEBOOK : Awesomeness. LOL.


- Random ARTICLE of the week: Stupidest idea ever. Just plain creepy. WTF?

- BONUS Random ARTICLE of the week: Probably not the best idea officer.

- BONUS Random ARTICLE of the week PART 2: Not a good look India. Seriously. If a Leopard was walking around New York and scalping people, A) it isn’t getting tranquilized, it is getting SHOT DEAD. B) if by some miracle it is tranquilized, it isn’t going to some reserve where it can walk around freely. It is going to a shelter where it will then be killed humanely. That is a FACT.

- BONUS Random ARTICLE of the week PART 3: This has to suck.

- BONUS Random ARTICLE of the week PART 4: WTF?!?!?!

- Random GIF of the week: Hypnotizing.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week: Hypnotizing Part 2.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week Part 2: Hypnotizing Part 3.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 3: Hypnotizing Part 4.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 4: Hypnotizing Part 5.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 5: Hypnotizing Part 6.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 6: Hypnotizing Part 7.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 6: JCVD.

- BONUS Random GIF of the week PART 7: Whoops!!

- Autocorrect FAIL : Damn, mom means business.

- BONUS Autocorrect FAIL : TMI mom, TMI.

- BONUS Autocorrect FAIL PART 2: Wow mom, you’re a slut.

- Wrong Number TEXTS : Whoops.

- BONUS Wrong Number TEXTS : Yeah, this isn’t going to end well.

- BONUS Wrong Number TEXTS PART 2: Be careful who you text folks.

- BONUS Wrong Number TEXTS PART 3: Someone better call a temp agency or something.

- Blue Ivy? Sounds like a new scent by Febreeze,

- A NEW STAR WARS?!?! I’ve got to see THIS .

- not sure how this is possible but Lindsay Lohan looks HOTTER in Australian Maxim then she does in Playboy.

- 90210 actress Anne Lynne McCord accidently tweeted a PICTURE of her nipple to a fan this week.

- Hey, it’s LADY GAGA .

- My Future Wife Kim Kardashian-Aponte playing FOOTBALL on the beach and with blond hair at a PHOTOSHOOT..

- Check it out at CLUBWWI.COM if you haven't had a chance yet. There are literally HUNDREDS of interviews with your favorite wrestling stars of yesteryear and today!!! If you're not a member then please do yourself a favor and JOIN CLUB WWI right NOW!!!! What are you waiting for? DO IT. DO IT NOW. Good stuff folks; don't miss out. You'll thank me for it.

Feel free to discuss whatever you'd like in the "Anger Management" section of the message board or whichever section you see fit. Also drop a comment in the comment box below as I try my best to answer in a timely fashion.

~Matt Dawgs

Questions, Corrections, Comments, Feedback or Ideas: .

© Copyright by is not affiliated with any wrestling promotion.