Yo. It's every writer's incentive not to take a week off - me. Uncle Ralph. RD Lee isn't here so I am. He's off letting the neighborhood kids play with his joystick. You heard me right. They all call him Sonic because he has wild adventures with his Knuckles.

So everyone is all giddy over Hulk Hogan going to TNA. People want to pay top dollar for that? There's a bald guy down the block from me with a limp who'll fight homeless people in the neighborhood for three bucks and a can of Red Bull. Same diff. Maybe I'm just cynical. I'm not really sure what cynical means. I'm guessing it means hungry because I'm pretty damn hungry right now.

Anyway, ECW. Yeah. Here it is.

Tony Atlas and his giant egg-shaped head introduce Abraham Washington. That's his name because he's what most high school kids answer when asked to pick the best President in history. Yeah. Weep for the future. A-Wash calls himself a pimp, Atlas laughs like Ed McMahon, and it all gets very old very quick. That's when he brings out his guest- Tiffany. Not the Think I'm Alone Now Chick. It's Tiffany with blonde hair. She's the GM of ECW for some insane unknown reason and she's doing a pretty horrible job. Terrible. Just awful. Abe asks her why the brand wasn't a part of Bragging Rights. He asks her how she can just let Sheamus leave. He pretty much calls her out for sucking at her job. Now, if her job was to suck, she'd be doing great. But it's not. It's to Generally Manage and she's generally messing up. Tiff defends all her inept and stupid decisions. She tells us to stay tuned to Bragging Rights 2010 to see how ECW bounces back. Also, in Sheamus's final match, he'll fight Shelton Benjamin tonight. Nice. Her responses to the two points are:

A) I'll get back to you on that in a year.

And

B) As a punishment for leaving ECW, I'm giving this Irish kid an easy win over one of our guys.

What a boss. That's when my British buddy William Regal showed up with his big oily boys in red. His Lordship emplores the bird to give him his due. Give him an ECW Title match. Alas, he is denied. When he argues, he's told that he could lose all title match privlidges for good. He makes a sad face and she walks away. He handled that better than I would. I would have probably flipped the tables on the set and screamed like a monkey. Actually, never mind. He did that too.

New ECW Co-host is Byron Saxton. He's ridiculously excited and has a stripper name. He and Josh Mathews introduce a video of Yoshi Kwan from Taiwan.

Some woman I don't know is talking backstage to Shelton Benjamin. Remember him? He was in the World's Greatest Tag Team…then he left it. Now he's the World's Average Singles. He tells this mystery woman that I'm contemplating stalking how Sheamus is a big ginger-ass coward. He doesn't fight face-to-face. He beats guys from behind. He heh. Beats guys from behind. Ha! Anyways, Shelton talks a tough game because it would be anticlimactic if he goes, "Yo. I'm gonna lose. Stay tuned." That's how wrestling works.