Hey there, WWI readers. What's up? Fritz Stephey here! That's right...if you didn't read last weeks edition of TNAaron Wood's iMPACT!, he is takin' a break, and I'm filling in. Glad to help out! So here we are! Last week on iMPACT! Sting returned, and...uh, that was the jist of it.

JB is standing outside of Cornett's office. He tells us Traci Brooks will take on Payton Banks and  Sting vs. James Storm, before Jim is out. JC talks really fast, so I'll sum this up the best I can...he's being driven nuts by the locker room (Yeah, I'd be too).

Making their way to the ring, Tomko and AJ Styles along with Team 3D. Team Tomko is adding a 5th member. Tomko lays it out straight, "Team Tomko: We ALL do some thinkin'". Brother Ray is having a joygasm because the current tag team champs, and the greatest tag team champs, are on the same team. He gives a shout out to Matt Morgan, who has allowed Team Tomko to add a 5th member (THAT'S why Cornette has such a headache). The next shout out...is to James Storm, who took out Sting! And he IS the 5th member! Sorry 'bout your damn luck, Sting.

Christian Cage comes out with his team. They're wearing totally awesome team shirts. By the way...did you know STING is back? Where the hell have I been? And now I'm forced to ask (As I haven't religiously followed this show) is Christian a face now? What the hell...who am I supposed to boo, damnit!? Morgan comes out, Christian demands something be done for Team Cage, and then flops and says "5 vs. 4" is fine with Team Cage.

Backstage, JB rushes to greet his man, Kurt Angle. Apparently they had some sparring last week, and now Kurt has forgotten the name "Karen Angle". Eric Young rushes in, and informs us "Super Eric" is here...Angle says he's the only Super one around (He said it with a deep lisp too...ok, joking).

Wow...it's 9:15 already.
<Commercial Break>

Backstage, Krystal (Crystal....Christall), is chatting with Black Reign, and Rellik (I think...with a flashing red eyes mask...kick ass). I have no clue what the f*** they were talking about.

THE ROCK N RAVE INFECTION w/ Christy Hemme, Rellik and Black Reign vs. your favorite tag team, The Motor City Machine Guns AND LAX. Eric Young is sitting ringside <s>because TNA needs to fill every seat</s> for some reason. Double-team mayhem from the Guns, including a dropkick to the face of Jimmy Rave. Eric Young is shown leaving the crowd and the match takes on some normalcy (I.E. there aren't 15 guys in the ring confusing the hell out of me)...Of course, since that happened, it's obviously, COMMERCIAL BREAK time.

I can't believe it's 9:30 and we just freakin' started the first match.

We're back, and Homicide and Rave are in the ring. Homicide hit the gringo stunner, double clothesline from Hernadez who tagged himself in when the Rock N Rave's came in the ring to break up a potential tag. MMO just tossed out Rellik and Reign and dive outside. Hernandez picks up the three count.

All of a sudden, Kaz runs out and takes out Rellik and Black Reign, but he gets beat down by the Rock N Rave. Then Super Eric comes to town...He takes out everyone. It reminds me of Charlie Haas and the Luchadore gimmick.

WOW, I just did not like that match. It was short, felt pointless, didn't have any order at all. Ack, I know Aaron does a 10-point rating system...I can't imagine this match getting more than a 5, if it'd even get that.

<Commercial Break>

I didn't mention this, but TNA dropped the "We are Wrestling" saying, and now proclaim "CROSS THE LINE!". The "Line" to which they are referring? Eh, well...use your imagination. A Video package of BG and Kip arguing...They're hanging out at a playground. Fortunately, I don't see any children around to witness it.  It would be scarring. 

Tenay plays an interview he had with Awesome Kong and Rieshia Siaed (Yeah, sp?). Tenay asked questions for and only about Rieshia...except for the last, which is "Is there anyone Awesome Kong can't handle?", to which the answer was a snarl from Kong and a "No" from Siaed (Yeah, I promise...I'll learn the correct spelling and whatnot).

Backstage, Chrystal interviews The Cowboy James Storm. He doesn't respect Sting. He doesn't care that he's a legend, an icon, or that the fans <s>are indifferent about him being in TNA</s>. He's sorry about his damn luck (Remember earlier?)

The TNA Tag Team Champions AJ STYLES and TOMKO vs. RHINO and Christian Cage. Ok, so I'm pretty sure Christian is the good guy, right? He's with Rhino...the fans are...somewhat reacting positively, and were it not for AJs heel Theme remix, hell, I'd be lost. Christian and Tomko will start off the match. A couple of Ric Flair chops and a "Leg-Lariet" as Tenay calls it. The action turns to Christian and Rhino double teaming Tomko and AJ, and then we flop back to normal, with Rhino and Styles. Big ol' dropkick from Styles. Pelé from Styles, but he will only grab a two count.

<Commercial Break>

Back from the break, and things have calmed down. Cage was about to be slammed by Tomko, tagged Rhino but the ref didn't see it. AJ and Tomko double teamed on Cage, and keep him away from tagging in Rhino. Big DDT from Cage to Styles, but only a 2-count. Cage makes a tag to Rhino as Tomko distracted the ref, and thus, Rhino and the Ref engage in a huge argument. Rhino GORES the ref! Tomko works down on Rhino, Cage fights off Rhino, Rhino throws AJ in the ringpost, UN-PRETTIER TO TOMKO, and GORE, GORE, GORE to Styles. Team 3D run out...and yeah, this match has gone to hell! Nash runs out too, and here comes Jim Cornette. Styles and Tomko are deemed the winners.

I was thinking a 6.5/10 rating for this match until the stupid unrecognized tags. Then, just as if to sh*t on it more, they throw out a run in. Utterly confusing...and it seems as if they want these matches to suck.

<Commercial Break>

Jimmy C is pissed at Matt Morgan for causing chaos on the show (Isn't that really bookings fault though?). Matt says he'll take care of it, and be the ref in the Storm/Sting match up. A Video package with SoCal Val and Black Machismo. They're in a hot tub, and Sonjay Dutt pops out of nowhere. Wow...

"Primetime" Elix Skipper vs. Shark Boy! Hah, it's been a while...I seemingly forgot Shark boy took on a Stone Cold gimmick. Skipper delivers a nice big spinning kick to 'Boys face, grabs a 2-count. Shark boy hit a nice variation of a reverse neck-breaker. Shark Boy hits a hurricanrana from the top rope (Something that Stone Cold would never do). He picks up the 3 count after hitting the chummer!

I dunno whether to be happy for Shark Boy, or extremely appalled that TNA steals gimmicks. Backstage, Traci Brooks delivers a pretty stale promo. Velvet and what's-her-face interrupt, and say they won't be messing with Ms. Brooks tonight (So, yeah...ultimately that means they'll be screwing her over during her match).

<Commercial Break>

Crystal is interviewing a man I have dubbed "Stone Deep Shark Stevens". This is the first time I've heard Shark's impersonation. Ain't bad. Is this Curry man, I see? Wow...Although there was literally no point to that segment.  Bur still - wow.  AMAZING!

Payton Banks vs. Traci Brooks
Ah, time for some Knockouts' action. Backsta----erm, uh...a back cracker from Payton. An annoying chick keeps screaming from the crowd. You know what's sad? Watching Traci trying to use the ropes for leverage for spring-boarding, but doesn't actually touch the ropes at all. Anyways, Traci picks up the win, (How? Hell if I know, I was ranting). Now we are having a dozen run ins from the entire TNA Knockout Roster. The crowd demands ODB...and they get, Sharmell. She whips everyone out, except for Traci and Roxi.

<Commercial Break>

Booker T is tearing Sharmell apart backstage (In a non-sexual manner). Sharmy tells him to back off, he knew the day he married her he married a wild woman (Again, non-sexual). A quick video package of Samoa Joe training for his an Angle's match. He drops an alleged Vinnie-Mac line...he tells Kurt, "Gold medals don't mean SH*T!".

Speaking of "What the A in TNA stands for"...Angle makes his way to the ring. He says he'll make this short and sweet (Just like their LOCKDOWN match). Here's the sum-up:

1. We agreed, if you lose, you quit Wrestling
2. Samoans are lying pieces of sh*t
3. You gotta sign a legal agreement to the terms of the match.

Big Poppa Pump makes his way out before Kurt can finish speaking. Earlier, The Big Bad Booty Daddy said he'd cash in his Money in The B---uh, his...suitcase which contains a world title shot...tonight. He says the LOCKDOWN winner will have 1 month to chill, and then he'll cash in at SACRIFICE.

Backstage, Cornette tells Matt Morgan not to screw up the Main Event. Jimmy throws out a "Queen of the Cage" match idea for Lockdown...JB likes it...I'm indifferent.

<Commercial Break>

I'm gonna steal something from HEAT here...it's time for the MAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT!

Sting vs. James Storm. That's why you tuned in, right? Well, regardless..it's time, and Matt Morgan is your special guest referee. They start brawling outside. Sting takes him up the ramp and throws him back down the ramp with a hiptoss. he sends him over the rail and this fights going crowd-side. James Storm goes into the wall (You know, the same spot everyone gets sent through). He gets it a second time, for good measure. Sting tosses the Cowboy over the guardrail again. The Match is back in the ring, and...we go to commercial break! YEAH!

As we return, Storm sends Sting face-first into the turnbuckle. This doesn't affect Sting. Superplex from Stinger, but he'll only grab a 2-count. Spinning heel kick from Storm to Sting! Missed Stinger Splash  and Storm grabs a 2-count. Storm goes for a kick, Sting grabs his leg, and locks on the Deathlock. James' manager Miss Jacklyn went up to the top rope, but Matt Morgan stopped her! Storm low blows Sting, which Morgan didn't see (Fighting off Jackie). Storm grabbed Sting's bat and went for a hit, but Matt stopped him! Double M chucks the bat to Sting and turns away. Sting takes out The Cowboy and picks up the victory!

It's not that I didn't enjoy the match, but...seriously, it had no quality. Couldn't be more than a 5.5/10. Team Cage and Team Tomko have a big confrontation. Matt Morgan takes down AJ Styles, and Team Cage reveals Matt Morgan as their 5th Member!

Final Thoughts: It's been a while since I sat down, and fully watched iMPACT! start to finish. Overall, I'd say this show scored a 5/10. Maybe I'm just off-course of the typical TNA formula, but...a lot of it makes you raise your eyebrow, sratch your forehead and makes you think "WTF!?" sometimes. There didn't appear to be one solid match! (And I friggin' watch HEAT! WWE's 30-minute Webshow usually puts up ONE solid, entertaining match). Though, I'll give it straight up, The Matt Morgan twist...interesting. It wasn't played out well, but...it was something.

And that is it for me. Glad I could fill in, hope you enjoyed the report, and look forward to more opportunities. Big "Thank You" To JG! I love doing this, I really do. And, don't forget <Shameless Plug> to check out My HEAT Report this week. Since I dropped the ball, I'm hoping to have a "Double-header" HEAT Review (Last weeks+This Weeks review...doesn't THAT blow your mind?)