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Mike Rickard's TNA Impact Report

By "Memorex" Mike Rickard
Jul 16, 2009 - 9:00 PM


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  1.   Eric Young v. Johnny Gardano- Young gets the win as his heel turn continues to play out.

WINNER:   Eric Young (by pin fall).

2.   ODB w/Cody Deener defeated Madison Rayne -ODB comes out with her new love interest, brawling with Rayne and getting the win.

WINNER:   ODB (by pin fall).

3.   “The Outlaw” Jethro Holiday vs. "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal -This match doesn't even begin.   Before Lethal can come out, Abyss lays out Holiday.  

WINNER:   No contest.

He grabs the mic and calls out Dr. Stevie, telling the psychotic shrink that he (Abyss) doesn't need him (Stevie).   Abyss vows revenge on Dr. Stevie until Dr. Stevie interrupts him on the video screen, threatening Abyss' honey Lauren and telling Abyss he's not done with him.  

PROMO:   Former TNA Champion and "Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley cuts a promo on current TNA champion Kurt Angle.   Foley calls out Angle and Angle answers Foley's challenge.   Foley recounts the beat down he suffered last week at the hands of Angle and the Main Event Mafia (MEM).   Foley vows not to tap out at Victory Road (where he will challenge Angle for the belt) and praises Angle for coming out tonight without his MEM cohorts.   Foley suggests that Angle do the same this Sunday so they can find out who is the better man.   Angle talks to Foley about how he wants to help Jarrett and Foley but he's interrupted by "The Icon" Sting.   The Stinger thinks Angle is full of baloney and asks Mick for a match with Angle tonight.    Foley agrees and shakes things up by making the match a Six Sides of Steel Match!

BACKSTAGE:   Samoa Joe is seen beating up The Amazing Red.   Joe drags Red to the ring where the match officially begins.

4.   Samoa Joe vs. The Amazing Red -Not a good night for Red as Joe stomps the daylights out of him.   When the referee tries to gain control of the match, Joe throws him off and hits the Muscle Buster on Red, beating him down further.   Finally TNA security make their way out to break things up.

WINNER:   No contest.

 5.   X Division Champion Suicide vs. Chris Sabin w. Alex Shelley (Non-title match): Despite Shelley's presence at ringside,   Suicide gets the upper hand.

WINNER:   Suicide (by pin fall).

Suicide's victory turns ugly as the Motor City Machine Guns (Sabin & Shelley) lay into him with a post-match beat down.   However Homicide runs in with his X Division Title briefcase and blasts the Guns with it, clearing the ring.   Homicide then cashes in his briefcase to earn an X Division title match.

6.   X Division Title Match:   Homicide vs. Suicide (Champion)- Homicide goes for a quick win, covering Suicide but the masked man kicks out.   However Homicide hits the Gringo Killer on the champion, sealing his fate and covering him to become new champion.

WINNER:   Homicide (New X Division Champion!)

PROMO:   The Beautiful People enter the ring with Angelina Love attired in a bee-keeper's outfit.   Velvet Sky has a can of bug spray and the two are none too happy with new TNA Knockout Tara for using her pet spider Poison to get a Knockouts title match last week and subsequent title win.   Love protests Tara's victory and claims that she is still champion as last week's match wasn't officially sanctioned.   Instead, she'll face Tara this Sunday at Victory Road for the title.   Tara walks out onto the entrance ramp and tells Love that her (Tara) having the belt makes her victory official.   However she's happy to face Love this Sunday and prove her victory.   She then informs Love that she was backstage earlier this evening and that her spider Poison is in Love's bee-keeper's outfit.   Love flips out, pulling her outfit off.   Tara then runs in and lays out Love with the Widow's Peak.

7.   Sarita vs. Melissa Flash:   Sarita's debut starts off great with a win over Flash.

WINNER:   Sarita.

Unfortunately her debut tanks after an angry Melissa hits a post-match power bomb on her, laying her out.  

8.   Six Man Elimination Match:   The Main Event Mafia (Kevin Nash w. Jenna Morasca, "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner, & Booker T w. Sharmell) vs. Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode & "Tennessee Cowboy" James Storm) & "The Phenomenal" A.J. Styles: It's six-man tag action with the eliminations as follows:

Kevin Nash eliminates A.J.

Scott Steiner eliminates James Storm

Robert Roode eliminates Kevin Nash

Booker T eliminates Robert Roode

WINNERS:   The Main Event Mafia

After the match, Jenna and Sharmell brawl, no doubt in anticipation of their match at Victory Road this Sunday.

9.   "Lethal Consequences ("Black Machismo" Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed) vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi:   It's X Division tag team action as Lethal and Creed get the win.

WINNERS: Lethal Consequences (Lethal pins Kiyoshi).

10.   Awesome Kong vs. Sojo Bolt:

WINNER:   Awesome Kong

11.   Six Sides of Steel Match: "The Icon" Sting vs. TNA World Champion Kurt Angle (Non-title match): Before the match begins, Jeff Jarrett joins Mike Tenay and "Shillmaster" Don West on commentary.   Although this match isn't for the title, Sting takes it to Angle, putting him in the Scorpion Death lock and going for the submission win.   Just then, Samoa Joe runs out, fighting with Jeff Jarrett.   Joe then steals the key to the cage and enters the ring.   The lights go out and a "13 FTW" logo appears on the video screen.   Joe then places Sting in the Tazmission.   Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley try to run into the cage for the save but Angle keeps them at bay with a nightstick.   Things get even worse for the faces as the Main Event Mafia run out, taking out Foley and Jarrett.  

 


Impact
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Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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