On tonight's dockett, we have a special announcement, Hogan gives away Ric Flair's Hall of Fame ring, and Orlando Jordan will do something else disgusting (Rob Terry is his guest on the O-Zone).  Also, someone is leading in the TNA top 10 rankings...I would assume we find out who is getting a world title shot tonight, but we all know what happens when you assume something.  Well...Let's get retarded.

At the offset, we get a video package from last week.  After the video, Easy E and Hogan are riding in a limo and Easy E says someone is coming to TNA tonight, and Hogan says its a big fish too.  He says Flair might jump off a cliff with this deal and he will call out Sting tonight. 

Tenay announces that Dixie Carter told the TNA roster that Impact is moving back to Thursday nights beginning May 13.  That's good news for them.  The experiment is over and maybe they can get better ratings with a night of their own.  The Nature Boy's music hits, but Jay Lethal comes out as Ric Flair and he's wearing Flair's Hall of Fame ring.  He sounds just like him.  This is hilarious!!!  He has the Flair gimmick down and I'm almost in tears laughing at this.  Flair comes out and he looks rather perturbed.  He tells Lethal that he is standing in front of God right now.  Lethal says he didn't mean any disrespect and that he was just playing around.  He gives him the ring back and says he has just always wanted to be the Nature Boy and that this is the greatest moment of his life because he is standing in the ring with THE Ric Flair.  Flair thanks him for the ring and then slaps Lethal in the face.  He takes off his shirt and exposes his flabby man boobs and slaps Lethal again.  He tells Lethal that the greatest moment in his life will turn into the saddest second in his life and slaps him a 3rd time.  Lethal fights back, but Beer Money, AJ Styles, and Desmond Wolfe come out to beat him down.  Out comes Abyss and he tries to clear house, but he gets beat down.  Team 3D comes out to even the score and a full scale brawl starts in the ring.  RVD hits the ring with a chair and Wolfe, Flair, Beer Money, and Styles scatter out. 

Back to the limo ride, Hogan says everything feels too right.  He checks his phone and says Machismo is an idiot.  Commercial break.

Live back on Impact, RVD and company are still in the ring.  They show footage of what happened prior to the break.  RVD says instead of everybody beating up on the macho dude, why don't they come back down to the ring.  They all head back down to the ring for another riot.  Chaos ensues inside the ring, outside the ring, and up the ramp.  The Hulkster's music hits and he lays out Robert Roode on the ramp, the Wolfe.  The enters the ring and lays out Storm and Styles.  Now we get a Flair and Hogan showdown.  Flair gets a couple of chops in and Hogan "Hulks up" and throws him out of the ring.  It looks like we may have the makings of another Four Horsemen, with Beer Money, Desmond Wolfe, and AJ Styles with Flair as the leader.  I'm down for that!  Commercial break.

Back live to the Impact Zone, security is attempting to break up the fight.  Hogan tells Flair that since they just beat the man, he can quote the man.  He says TNA is the best thing going today.  He puts Wolfe in a match against Rob Van Dam for the title.  I guess we now know who won the TNA top 10 for the week.  He also announces Styles vs Abyss in a Monster's Ball match.  He also makes a 3 way tag match with Beer Money, MCMG, and Team 3D.  Looks like we have a pretty nice slate of matches for the evening. 

Sting is shown in the rafters and Taz says Sting will break his silence tonight.  Commercial break.

Back from commercial, The Beautiful People are shown in front of a vanity mirror.  Lacey says her back has been hurting, because she can't sleep with the championship belt on.  I hate her.

Brian Kendrick and Douglas Williams are in the ring awaiting action.  He is complaining about being stripped of the X-Division title.  He calls Kaz a cheap immitation.  Out come Ink Inc. (Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal) for tag team action.  Neal and Moore have a Tag Title match at Sacrifice and Hogan will be naming Morgan's tag partner.  Neal and Williams start of the match.  This match promises to be fast paced.  Matt Morgan comes out for guest announcing duties.  Williams gets a tag to Kendrick and they go back and forth on Neal, until he gets over to Moore.  Moore then comes in with a burst of energy.  Kendrick goes for a tag, but Williams has been taken out.  Moore hits the Mooregasm and gets a tag and Neal hits a Spear for the win.  Williams and Kendrick get into an arguement and out comes Samoa Joe to take out both guys.  Joe forces Kendrick back into the ring and lays him out with a Muscle Buster.  Joe reaches for a mic and then throws it down.  Commercial break.

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho Cheese!!!

Back from commercial, JB is in AJ Styles room and gets kicked out by Flair.  Flair tells Styles he needs to be the face of TNA.  He tells Beer Money to be the muscle.  He then tells Wolfe to make it happen tonight or he will find replacements.

Hogan is talking to somebody out of the picture about the problems in TNA and mainly about Sting. 

Taz and Tenay are now given face time and talk about Sting.  They then give the run down the rest for the rest of the night.  Still to come, Styles vs Abyss in a Monster's Ball match, Wolfe against RVD for the title, and Jeff Hardy live later on.  They then pan to the backstage area and Anderson is beating Pope down.  Anderson is wearing what seems to be a choir robe.  He steals Pope's sunglasses and puts them on.  Commercial break.

Live again, and Mr. "Don't call me Kennedy" Anderson........................... Anderson comes out as an alter boy.  Tenay says he wasn't scheduled to be there tonight.  Anderson says he stands before the congregation at a loss for words.  He says he had a realization that he will not go to Heaven but will in fact burn in hell when he dies.  Ok???  Out comes Jeff Hardy for some reason.  I guess Anderson gets another overlapping storyline.  Hardy says that since his good friend the Pope won't be able to compete for the next few weeks and he needs a match at Sacrifice against Anderson.  Anderson asks if Hardy is doubting that he will accept.  He then says "Nah...I've got something else going on that night."  He then tries a sucker punch with the mic and gets a Twist of Fate for his efforts and gets stripped to his undies.  Hardy then speaks for a knocked out Anderson and accepts the match for him.  Andersons underwear says "talk into the mic."  He then awakens and realizes he is almost naked.  Commercial break.  Why did they announce Hardy for later if Anderson wasn't even "scheduled" to be in the Impact Zone tonight?  I guess Hardy forgot what he was going to say and just challenged Anderson to a match instead. 

Back from break, Taylor Wilde, Sarita, and Tara await the Beautiful People.  Velvet Sky is HOT!!!  Lacey Von Erich and Tara begin the match and Lacey does a little dance.  Very odd.  Tara apparently spit at her tag partners and tagged in Sarita.  Lacey then tags in....mmmmmmmmmm...Velvet Sky.  Sarita tags in Taylor after hitting a face plant.  Madison gets tagged and Tara yells at Taylor to tag her in.  Once tagged in, Sarita slaps Tara on the back to get tagged back in.  Tara lays her out and Taylor and Tara get into it.  Sarita finds her way back in and gets a double DDT for her troubles.  Tara continues the yelling after the match.  Commercial break.

Back from commercial, Tara is interviewed by Christy Hemme and she says the only time she ever gets respect is when she is champion.  She then challenges Madison Rayne for the Knockouts title and she says she is willing to put up her career.

Back to the Impact Zone, Beer Money and the Motor City Machine Guns await Team 3D.  Roode and Sabin start things off.  Sabin is a classic X-Division wrestler and puts it to Roode.  Roode gets the tag to Storm and Shelley tags himself in and they get their normal tag team offense in on James Storm.  Devon tags himself in and goes to work on Storm.  Devon gets distracted and Storm hits a Codebreaker and a tag to Roode.  They get a couple of in and out tags to each other.  Devon then gets the upper hand on a failed splash by Storm.  Ray gets the tag and takes it to both members of Beer Money.  Hall and Nash storm the ring and attack Team 3D.  This match is thrown out.  Eric Young hits the ring, but takes out Team 3D with a kendo stick.  The Machine Guns get back in the ring and eliminate Hall and Nash.  Roode and Storm then get take the Guns out.  The Band is back up and Nash puts his arm around Young.  Commercial break.

Back from break, Orlando Jordan comes out for the O-Zone.  I'm afraid of this segment.  He says one size fits all and batteries aren't needed.  This guy is creepy!  Rob Terry is introduced and a wall is lifted and a cardboard cutout of Rob Terry is shown.  Jordan has a huge crush on Rob Terry apparently.  This is extremely odd.  He asks the cutout what fantasies he has at night.  Out comes Terry and he knocks Jordan down and says " Don't make me come back."  He turns his back and OJ attacks him and chokes him with a chain.  He then takes a prop from his set and throws it at Big Rob.  Wow!  That can cause nightmares.

AJ makes his way to the ring for his match with Abyss.  Out next is Abyss, carrying a garbage can full of goodies to use in this Monster's Ball match.  AJ goes for a springboard, but Abyss catches him on the ramp.  AJ hits Abyss with elbows and Abyss throws him into the ring.  Abyss lands a big boot and goes for a crutch.  AJ hits the Pele kick and a drop kick.  He hits the ropes, and Abyss catches him for a Gorilla Press drop.  AJ gets back up, but Abyss throws him into a chair in the corner and a Shock Treatment on the rebound.  Abyss goes for a bag of tacks under the ring and pours them on the mat.  Flair then forces Chelsea out to the ring to distract Abyss and AJ nails him with a chair.  AJ hits a lateral press springboard and Abyss lands on the tacks for the win.  Flair and AJ start to pound on Abyss.  Commercial break.

Back from the break, Desmond Wolfe is introduced.  RVD's music hits and everybody sings along.  "ROB VAN DAM!  THE WHOLE F'N SHOW!"  Wolfe attacks RVD as the bell rings.  Wolfe controls the beginning of this match.  Wolfe goes for a corner to corner, but RVD jumps on the top rope for a jumping kick and a rolling thunder.  RVD to the top for an attempted Five Star, but Wolfe pushes him down.  Wolfe goes for the Tower of London, but RVD blocks.  The fight goes to the ramp and back to the ring.  Wolfe gets thrown back into the ring and RVD with the Five Star for the win.  AJ Styles then hits the ring and lands a jumping clothesline off the top rope and says he is envoking his rematch clause at Sacrifice. 

Backstage, Hogan is leaned over a recently released and fallen Bubba the Love Sponge.  He says Sting layed him out.  Commercial Break.

I stand corrected, as it Jeff Jarrett was layed out on the floor and not Bubba the Love Sponge.  It didn't show him, but it sounded like him.  Thank you, Mike Tenay...you're a life saver.  Hogan makes his way to the ring and says he realized what he was in for when he came to TNA.  He says its time we find out what's real and what isn't.  Out comes Sting.  Hogan tells Sting to let him in on his brand new change.  Sting says TNA makes him tick and says his agenda is the same today as it was 5 years ago, and that is to give back to the sport of wrestling.  He said Hulk has had a veil of protection his whole career, but he has no protection in TNA.  Hogan says Sting still has blood on his hands, because he just left Jeff Jarrett lying in the back.  Hogan tells Sting to take his best shot and try to end the Hulkster's run in TNA.  Out comes Jeff Jarrett and he hits Sting with the baseball bat, but Hogan cuts him off from hitting him again.  That ends tonight's show. 

See ya next week for another TNA Impact, brother brother man dude brother man!

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