Previously on TNA…
Jeff Hardy - Came to TNA after losing his love of pro wrestling and a very short stint in ROH. He had a long feud with Jeff Jarrett before also fighting Abyss in some memorable hardcore matches. Years later he returned for Hulk Hogan’s premier night with the company by attacking Homicide. This led to Jeff Hardy fighting against Immortal before joining them out of some reason I can’t fully remember. Jeff was their crowned champion completely loved by all until he showed up to Victory Road in 2011 in no condition to compete. After the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com 2011 Moment of Insanity happened Jeff went away for awhile. He came back and is now looking for redemption in the ways of that beautiful, totally non-corrupting World Title.
Austin Aries - He came around here and there years ago but finally got a solid contract in 2011. Since then, and because the 2009-2011 version of Austin Aries is a billion times different and better than old Aries, he has been tearing it up anywhere he can in Total Nonstop Action. He is “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” and also the TNA X-Division Champion.
Alex Shelley - Originally an outcast of the X-Division after beginning his Paparazzi Productions with Kevin Nash to attempt a takeover of said division. The two created some of the most entertaining skits in TNA history, without their DVD ever coming out, before winding up on the rocks when Kevin Nash left him months later. Shelley floundered before finding success with his now tag team partner Chris Sabin. The Motor City Machine Guns have since went on to become one of the best tag teams around.
ODB - A very butchy woman who has no problem drinking beer, scratching herself, or whooping your ass. At the current time she has some sort of love/fling/sex thing happening with Eric Young.
Mickie James - Mickie wants woman to be looked at like athletes instead of objects. That is why she left the North months ago. Since Karen, Madison, and Gail have done nothing to help that problem she has went out of her way to attempt to halt the threes actions. With Karen Jarrett fired she is down to needed vengeance on just Madison Rayne and Gail Kim.
TNA News of the Week
Eric Young has had his 15th surgery on his throat.
Jesse Neal, Toxxin, and Miss Jackie have been fully removed from TNA’s website
TNA’s annual Lockdown PPV will be held in Nashville on April 15th this year.
TNA Impact in Review
This week’s edition of Impact Wrestling is starting off with a video package featuring the Roode/Hardy saga over the past few weeks. Reminding us that Robert Roode will do whatever it takes, but Sting will make sure Bobby has to play it fair. Bully Ray made the match a no contest after being promised a shot. Now, off to Impact Wrestling we go.
“Cowboy” James Storm is on his way towards the ring after defeating Kurt Angle last week and becoming the number one contender for the TNA World Championship. This crowd is all into Bernard Nadler this week and he is feeling their support. While Kurt is the greatest wrestler around today, that couldn’t stop James Storm from being just a smidge better last week. Now? Time for revenge on his former partner in Beer Money. Along with that comes the world championship again.
Jeff Hardy, sans face paint, has decided he wants to vent his frustrations with Mr. Storm in the ring.
“I got screwed at the pay-per-view. I got screwed last week. Let me make this clear to you Storm, nobody is getting a title shot at Bobby Roode until I get my final encounter.”
Storm doesn’t really want to hear any of this. Do you remember last month? Do the TNA fans? The Cowboy got just as screwed as you and he hasn’t even gotten his rematch yet.
These two sadden Robert Roode enough to have him step into the ring to talk this out. Why should we talk whine about all this? It’s sad really. This is all really easy to figure out. James became the number one contender and would face the winner of Roode/Hardy, but there wasn’t a winner in the match at all. You watched the match right? Yeah, no contest there buddy. So that whole thing is null and void. The Charismatic Enigma has had two shots in a week. He will not get another.
Sting is here, sans cowboy or joker attire, to lay down some justice on these fools. Why you gotta find a loophole Bobby? Very clever of you to have Bully Ray get the match thrown out. This whole thing is going to be fixed tonight though. Tonight there will be a number one contenders match for the World Heavyweight Title. But between who? Sawyer? Me? Jack? Locke? The Man in Black? Calvin? Hobbs? Charlie? Ben? Nah, we’re just going to go ahead with James Storm against Jeff Hardy.
Last week Angelina was touched by Eric Young. This disgusted her. It disgusted her so much she has challenged Eric Young for match tonight.
Gunnar w./ Ric Flair vs. AJ Styles
AJ makes his way with all the pomp and circumstance. Gunnar goes the simpler route by just walking to the ring as Flair struts behind him. The bell rings and these two lock-up. AJ does the classy thing with a clean break earning a shove from Gunnar. After a quick crucifix pin leads to a near fall AJ hits one of the best drop kicks in the business to send Gunnar to the floor. AJ’s old mentor gives Gunnar some advice on how to handle the match before he enters.
TWITTER QUESTION OF THE NIGHT: Why has Kazarian sided with Daniels? #IMPACTWRESTLING
As the twitter question of the week fades Gunnar throws AJ to the ground with a waist lock. We’re informed of TNA’s trip to England while Gunnar lands a running knee on Styles. The phenomenal one gains the most momentum he has had this match hitting clotheslines and cross bodies ending with a springboard clothesline that lays Gunnar out. As Gunnar lays on the mat Kazarian is forced to the ring by The Fallen Angel. Reluctantly Kaz is forced to attack AJ which leaves him to be easy pickings for Gunnar. Styles narrowly escapes from Gunnar’s concrete destruct fion while Daniels continues to force Kaz to view the scene.
Winner by Pinfall: Gunnar
Magnus and Joe are in the back letting everyone know Magnus is ready to take Crimson out. C&M are walking by at that same moment and just want to make
sure they’ve heard his opponent clearly. That is how this is going down? Crimson don’t think so. He will be victorious tonight.
Bully Ray is laying down the law to, the law, Sting. The Icon owes Bully Ray a favor. Bully Ray has trended on Twitter worldwide. He hasn’t lost a single match since he became a singles wrestler. Where is his title shot? He deserves one. Sting has just one problem. He won’t be bullied by anyone. If Ray wants to talk next time he can set up an appointment. He could also step up. Sting has no problem getting busy to prove that he is in full control.
TA-TA IT’S SHOWTIME
Magnus vs. “The Undefeated” Crimson
Brutus Magnus is going to attempt to make things different around the impact zone. By the end of this match he wants to make sure Crimson is just Crimson. Starting off hot Crimson is left laying on the ground after Magnus jumps the gun. After hitting some big strikes and a body slam he has Crimson down and out. Just as Magnus is about to finish off Crimson his opponent lands a SkyHigh out of nowhere winning the match
FOLLOW DIXIE CARTER ON TWITTER BY GOING TO
Winner by Pinfall: Crimson
Before Crimson can even celebrate Samoa Joe is out here to lay the hurt in. As the tag team newbs lay the smack down on Crimson here comes Matt Morgan for the save. The only thing he saves is himself a chance to get his ass whooped. After the two put down Crimson, Samoa Joe ends Matt Morgan’s night with a muscle buster.
Eric Young was spotted earlier today at the Bellator Fighting Championship place at Universal. He doesn’t think he could handle those guys or fight a woman. He is asking a woman if he should fight a woman. She understandably runs away screaming as ODB comes up to talk about tonight. ODB thinks EY needs to be a M-A-N. Do a number on her tonight. If he does ODB will do a number on him later tonight. OMG! They might hold hands later.
Highlights of The Bischoffs’ confrontation last week. Especially hinting at the special trainer Eric’s son has hired to help him learn his craft. Once last week’s highlights are up we move to a workout video of Garrett to show just how in shape he guy is. The Impact Zone won’t be able to handle all that Garrett Bischoff is at all.
Another highlight video begins showing the trials of Mickie James against Gail and Madison. Tonight just to make sure things go down all fair Mickie and Madison will be seeing each other tonight. All this could have been prevented if only Madison would’ve kept her hands to herself.
Madison knows the problem tonight is that she’ll have to fight Mickie in the cage. Mickie has been through hell over the past few months due to Gail, Karen, and herself. It’ll all be ok, though. Gail Kim promises to be their for her championship partner. This doesn’t do all that much to calm down the Queen of the Knockouts.
Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James in a Steel Cage Match
Ms. Rayne is even more worried about this match after Earl Hebner sends Gail Kim to the back before the opening bell. Once the bell rings Mickie goes straight on the offensive. Taking all of her previous frustrations out on Madison that have built up over the past few months. A sitout power bomb is followed up by a dropkick to the face. After attempting multiple pinfalls Mickie reverts to using a Tazmission. Instead of passing out Madison gets to her feet and lands a kick right onto Mickie’s nose.
When Impact comes back from commercial Madison is just getting back in control of the match. This doesn’t last long as Mickie stops the momentum with a flapjack. While Mickie starts to climb the top rope Madison cuts her off and delivers a neck breaker through the ropes. The Queen of the Knockouts has this match in full control for the first time tonight.
Madison gets a near fall after using a suplex/neck breaker combo. After a nice polite wave to the crowd Madison Rayne takes a page out of Alex Shelley’s book by skullf***ing Mickie James. This leads to a count of two and a half. Rayne comes off the ropes and one more time slams Mickie’s face back into the mat.
Hardcore Country lays her opponent out with her last ounce of energy delivering a neck breaker that puts both women down. Earl gets to a count of six before both women are up and exchanging blows. Mickie gets the best of the encounter laying in three running forearms. As she attempts the Lauree DDT Madison comes back with a kick to the face.
The nearest fall of the match ends at 2 and 7/8ths but Mickie somehow kicks out. After Madison picks her victim up off the mat she is thrown into the cage by Mickie James. After repeating this action a few times Mickie finally lands the Lauree DDT to pick up the win.
Mickie James wins by Pinfall
Best part about A Double? He can talk about what he is going to talk about which then will lead to him talking about what he is going to talk about in the ring and you’ll be ok with that even though you totally just heard what he was going to talk about in the ring right now.
Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie on her cage match victory. The next thing on Mickie’s list is the Knockout Championship. Hardcore Country is a fighter. She is going to fight Gail Kim and win that title next time they face.
Jeff Hardy has gotten screwed too many times. He needs a payout right now. He can say that he is the winner but has nothing to show for it. Life isn’t fair. What would be fair? Hardy vs. Roode in a no DQ match.
Highlight video time. A Double wants us to know that there is no one on the A Double level. Are there guys on the upper level? Yes. Is there anyone on the greatest level that ever was? Austin Aries. The smartest, toughest, quickest, best, hell probably the best X-Divison champion ever. A Double doesn’t know what to do anymore. He may just have to retire with the X-Division title.
Austin Aries will now great us with his presence. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. We all need to be quiet while The Greatest Man That Ever Lived speaks. It’s that time fo the month. Austin Aries has come out to tell you no one in the world is in his league. Who does he have left to fight? People can tell A Double he sucks, but the proof is resting on his shoulder. Champions don’t suck. Don’t chant the man’s name either. There is no competition anywhere in Impact Wrestling.
Paparazzi Productions has a problem with that statement. Most notably the director and creator Alex Shelley. He has missed Impact Wrestling just as much as the crowd misses him. One year ago Alex Shelley separates his shoulder. Four months later he returns just to see Sabin tear his ACL. That injury is a sympathetic noose. He wants to be there for his partner but this guy loves wrestling too much.
A Double wants a man to challenge him. Shelley is sick of having a douche bag run his division. Generation Next are going back and forth with fantastic verbal squabble just for Aries to let him know that these things aren’t going to go down. Without the other Motor City Machine Gun who really is Alex Shelley? But if Shelley isn’t anything he should get himself a shot at that title. If Shelley wants a shot then all he has to do is pick any of the men that A Double has defeated.
Shelley has a better idea. The champion can pick the challenger. After Shelley beats his hand picked opponent he’ll be coming for Aries at the next PPV.
The Total Nonstop Camera Crew has caught up with ODB and they would like her thoughts on what she wants to see her man, Eric Young, do to Angelina Love tonight.
“Oh, tonight I want EY to rip that skinny, little Barbie doll little hussy, skanky ass right in half. Rip out that weave that she has in her hair. Rip out her little sparkly fake nails. Maybe a couple CC’s and these [tits] and just rip her in half and take her ass out.”
These words of encouragement are met with Winter attacking ODB from behind. The two brawl back and forth backstage until Winter gets advantage by using a pipe followed up with her belt as a whip. Looks like ODB won’t be at EY’s side tonight.
Eric Young vs. Angelina Love w/ Winter
Eric Young decides to run the apron about five times instead of locking up with anyone until he gets into the ring and meets the referee. The bell rings and Eric Young calls a quick time out at the start of this match. Angelina wants Eric to fight and Eric decides to lock-up with the audience instead. Upon returning ot the ring he offers Angelina a handshake before, again, locking-up with the ref. After putting Angelina in the corner by using the ref things are broke at the audiences count of four. Angelina has had enough of the games and decides to just kick Eric Young in the balls. ODB hit’s the ring to save her man but is stopped by Winter Love. Eric Young grabs the two ladies off his woman and throws them out of the ring before kissing and making their way to the back.
Eric Young wins by DQ
James Storm has been around since day one. He is a gambling man. The Cowboy has scouted his opponent tonight just enough to know exactly how to watch out for his opponent tonight. No more talking…time to put boots to asses.
James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy
The bell gets the main event started and the crowd is split 50/50 on this match. The two former heavyweight champions lock-up in the ring. Storm decides to keep this match mat based by using a headlock takedown on Jeff Hardy. After a few pinfall attempts Jeff pulls himself off the mat and takes Storm down with a headlock takedown of his own. The two then trade off some arm drags as they feel each other out.
Action begins to heat up as Hardy ducks a clothesline and gets into the drivers seat with a running elbow. After a questionably low leg drop Hardy loses control missing a splash in the corner. Impact comes back to the commercial with Jeff Hardy sending James Storm to the outside of the ring. Baseball slide and a plancha to the outside later, James Storm is in trouble. “Cowboy” chants erupt right after a near fall.
Tully Blanchard is smiling when James Storm gets the upper hand on Hardy by hitting quick and following it up with a slingshot suplex.
TWITTER QUESTION OF THE NIGHT #2: Mickie James vs. Tara vs. Velvet Sky. Who will win the knockouts #1 contenders match next week? #IMPACTWRESTLING
Jeff’s portion of the crowd is getting restless as Storm keeps Jeff on the ground with another headlock. The creatures feed The Charismatic Enigma enough for him to break the hold and hit Whisper in the Wind. Another close call for Storm and this match is all Hardy right now. Jeff has a headlock to wear down James Storm again. As Storm fights out he picks Hardy up and lands some sort of weird slam that puts Jeff right on his face. This gains a very near three.
Jeff is slow to his feet but blocks a Last Call attempt by nailing the Twist of Fate. Storm regains his composure just enough to stop Hardy on the top rope before Jeff can go for the Swanton. Jeff keeps James from hitting a superplex but can’t stop his opponent from kicking him square in the face on the top rope. Top rope super-plex later and both men are down in the middle of the ring. Just as James Storm crawls to pin Jeff Hardy; Bully Ray comes out of nowhere to beat down the referee. After taking a chain to both men in the match he then prevents Earl Hebner from getting involved in this match. Ray parches his thirst with a beer before continuing his chain lashings.
This lasts until “The Joker/Cowboy” Sting decides enough is enough and chases Ray out of the ring with his baseball bat. All this chaos leads to Robert Roode getting to have his slim pickings of the two men in the ring. By the power vested to the most powerful champion in TNA history, Bobby Roode declares this match a no contest. Apparently that ruling is going to hold up for at least one week. TNA leaves the air with Roode victorious and no number one contender at all.
Current card for TNA’s Against All Odds PPV on Feb 12th 2012
Robert Roode vs. #1 Contender
Gail Kim vs. #1 Contender
Conclusions and Thoughts
This week’s program wasn’t all the bad save for the fact that it was far much more about promos than wrestling. Again, that isn’t always a bad thing and three weeks out from a pay-per-view is about the right amount of time in which it works. There is a slight downturn though when every match ends or is quickly followed up with an attack from behind.
Madison and Mickie pulled off a pretty decent cage match this week. This is coming from a man that isn’t fully all that keen on women’s wrestling either. They took it to each other and seem like they’ve finally been able to hit the tail end of Mickie James’ current feud. This should easily wrap up with a win in next weeks number one contenders match followed with her defeating Gail at the PPV.
TNA has done a smart thing with Gunnar. Not only does he have Ric Flair there to cover up his flaws, but putting him in the ring with an AJ Styles really will help. AJ can make almost anything look devastating. Styles is the type of guy who can be used to make Gunnar look twenty times more dangerous than he actually seems right now. Ideally they keep the weekly trend of strong opponents alive for him. While even I don’t like the man all the much…Ric Flair makes a lot of things work that really shouldn’t be going this well.
Highlight of the Night
“The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” stole the show this evening. From his highlight video package that is one of the most round and round promos I’ve heard all the way to getting in the ring to basically just repeat it to the crowd. This is a section of Impact that you should really take time to Youtube or DailyMotion. Hopefully JG gets it up on the embedded player at some point this week. Add in Alex Shelley returning and the two having a verbal squabble that got you smirking; you got the best part of the week.
Added bonus for any longtime ROH fans too. We get to see Generation Next go at it one more time.
Lowlight of the Night
Eric Young vs. Angelina Love. For the most part it was short and that was the matches saving grace. I get Eric Young is comedy. Again, maybe he just isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t enjoy the Santinos of the pro wrestling comedy genre. The biggest problem is that no one looks serious when they are with the guy. Hell, it seems almost impossible to sell a serious match or feud due to how he is. It is kind of the reason Santino is never in one in the WWE and never wrestles PPVs.
Thank you to Angelina for making the hurt not last all that long this week.
Five Questions for TNA
1) Do the Wu Tang Clan know or care of your/ODB’s existence? Are they cool with the whole name thing? I would truly assume that either Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s family or Wu Tang themselves have some sort of copyright on the name/initials ODB.
2) Where is Ken Anderson TV-wise? He came back at a recent house show, but he seems like a top star to just be removed from TV and not mentioned.
3) Has Sting chosen to just be Sting without face paint nowadays? Are we fully done with him dressing up as a cowboy or painting his face up and turning into the Joker randomly?
4) Are you planning on giving Austin Aries a lot more television time? I just think it’s a really good idea.
5) Do you have a tentative plan for when Chris Sabin comes back and the MCMG get back together? I’m just asking because at the current time your tag roster is very lean. With groups like LAX not being there and Beer Money being broken up I figured seeing if you have a plan is slightly important as a tag team wrestling fan.