Tebow Time has just wrapped up in Denver and I’ve finally finished my crying in the corner. What does that mean to all of you? It means that Impact has just begun and This Week in TNA can commense. That’s right we’re just three days away from Genesis (Note: Be on the lookout for a special This Week in TNA Presents: Genesis within the next 48 hours) and things are heating up. As an experiment I want to test something I’ve heard people complain about when mentioning Impact wrestling. One thing I heard for months after I stopped watching constantly was their lack of mentioning their ppv product to you at all. Announcers didn’t do it, wrestlers didn’t do it, and adverts didn’t do it. So I’m going to put that to the test with this Impact. Every single time I hear them mention “Genesis is this Sunday” or “This Sunday at Geneiss” maybe even “Our pay-per-view this weekend” I’m going to put a number right in the middle of the sentence. This number will incrementally go up as they continue mentioning the ppv and we’ll see how big the number is at the end.
Previously on TNA…
Devon - Came to TNA with his Brother Ray and Brother Runt. Brother Runt may have already been here for a tad, either way, that isn’t important. After Team 3-D captured the NWA tag titles they then got the TNA tag titles by default. This led to them holding every major tag title ever created in the past twenty years, and being considered the best tag team ever. The Kings of Wrestling called them on what they called “bullsh*t” but the D’s never got back to them about the whole mess. Anyways, Devon was attacked by Ray who started becoming a bully. Since then, instead of taking on his role as a reverend he decided to teach his sons to wrestle. Actually he has done nothing but set up his own demise as they are now aligned against him whilst he is at war with D’Angelo Dinero.
Samoa Joe - Came to TNA after holding the Ring of Honor championship for two years. He also has appeared on television in matches and won clean multiple times lately. Trust me, that is shocking news compared to his previous few months/years/pushes.
Hulk Hogan - Has been somewhere. Sting beat him into being a good man again but hasn’t been seen since.
Mickie James - Did an adult photo shoot, worked in ROH for a little bit, went to TNA, then to WWE and became big. After finishing up in the WWE she started to sing pretty generic country music. Once that didn’t take off the complete way she may have hoped Mickie decided to both sing and wrestle. More adult film shoots may also not be a terrible choice (author’s opinion). Was screwed out of the Knockouts Title by Madison Rayne last week at the end of Impact.
Bobby Roode - Was so selfish he got rid of his friends. Everything he has done over the past few months has been nothing but selfish. The bright side is it got him the world championship.
TNA News of the Week
TNA officially announces that Against All Odds PPV is happening Feb 12th.
Kaz, Rosita, and Christopher Daniels have been pulled from WrestleReunion as they will be at a TNA taping in London instead.
TNA Impact in Review
Another Impact and another great Robert Roode opening video package. We go from him choking out his best friend to reminding us all of Sting’s ominous “For every bad thing you do, bad things happen to you.”
Here comes the Stinger to kick off Impact just three days before Genesis live on PPV (1). The sherrif, lacking all visible cowboy gear, wants Mr. Hardy in the ring right now. Jeff obliges coming out with a half kabuki painted face. What could Stinger ever want with the enigma? Impact Zone is alive with chants for Hardy tonight.
Sting wants Jeff to know some facts. When he was here he wasn’t accepted with open arms. Jeffery has earned everyone’s trust one-by-one. The second chance is here and The Icon completely knows what it’s like. The man with the sunglasses use to be in a dark place. The same as Hardy’s no less. Everyone is happy to have Jeff and Sting wants Hardy to know he has his one hundred percent endorsement.
Bullies, Olympic Heroes, and Roode men OH MY! Here they come to spoil the party. On their way to the ring we get the required Bully Ray calf-shot. He then lets all of us know “Dusty Rhodes never needed abs.” Or he may have said calves. Who knows?
this whole feel good crap has the champ ready to puke. Hell, he was just puking in the back. You all totally missed it. Robert Roode can’t take all this happiness bull from two men who’ve battled demons.
Sting isn’t that great of an authority figure. Stinger isn’t a leader. Why would he endorse someone like Jeff when there is a world champion standing in his presence. Olympic gold only stands just feet away from you. Remember how he followed your orders and took It to James Storm’s home town before you became a jerk and punished him? Bully Ray and his calves? They could represent the company.
No, Stingy only picks all of his friends. The creatures don’t matter to Bobby. The Icon doesn’t do what is good for business. The man is only in it for himself. Before things get really out of hand Abyss and James Storm come to the ring while Bobby, Ray, and strung-out Jason Statham wait for them to enter. (2)
Jacquen Phoenix wants everyone in this ring to shut the hell up. This man is here to talk to Kurt about his actions. Go and beat up helpless men in a bar? What are ya…yell-ah? James Storm got ya numba kurt-ah. Want to beat up on Storm’s buddies? Beat up this beer drinking monster buddy.
The drunken monster is here to tell Bully Ray he doesn’t need Immortal like they need him. They want him to be the one who helps them. They want him to be their backbone. And this Sunday at Genesis (3) Bully Ray will be paying for Immortal’s sins.
Stinger settles it…6-man main event TA-TA!
Earlier today Madison Rayne showed off her bikini to Gail Kim. She found Traci Brooks in the pool while looking for her best side. This led to the knockouts tag champs trying to drown Ms. Brooks. Mickie James was sunbathing just three chairs away and could stop their opponents from forcing a handicapped match tonight.
Gail Kim and Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James and Traci Brooks for the Knockouts Tag Title
As the tag champs make their way to the ring I must say that the crowd has been pretty alive tonight (4). As the champs get on the apron Traci tries to get back at them for the drowning and takes it to the outside. The Zone is electric for the action in the ring to start things off. Hebner has no control as James/Brooks have a slap-off with Gail Kim as the dummy. The challengers are on the offensive as they go to commercial.
Ms. James monkey flips Madison when the camera fades in from commercial.
Twitter Question of the Week: Who will be @ImpactWrestling’s breakout star of the year?
While the twitter question pops up Gail distracts Mickie enough for Madison to get some control. It doesn’t last long before Hardcore Country forces Rayne to do some hardcore splits. An accidental distraction from Traci forces Hebner away from the action allowing Madison to get a cheap shot in. Crowd again comes to life all wanting Mickie to get into it as Madison soaks in their chants with a gracious wave.
The Queen of the knockouts tags in Gail Kim who can’t keep Mickie from getting Ms. Brooks into the action. Bobby Roode’s former manager wants to show Molly’s old partner that drowning her isn’t all that cool. She takes it to Gail with some high powered offense.
Madison tries to stop it but takes a high risk assault from Mickie for her troubles. This seems to tweak James’ knee. Madison is followed to the outside by Hardcore Country just as Gail has enough time to lay out Traci with the Eat Defeat. (5)
Gail Kim and Madison Rayne win and retain the TNA Knockout Titles
Ric Flair is letting Gunnar know that these past few weeks have given him a reputation in this business. He has become an Impact player (no pun intended). The guy is a Manchild. Best part is everyone is scared of the guy. In a month they won’t even have to come to the Impact Zone. Ric Flair loves that Gunnar and him can be TNA’s Brodus Clay. They’ll never show up because they’ll get paid to just hit the town. That is how famous he is becoming. As a team, they’ll be putting someone else in the hospital.
Cowboy Sting, minus all things that make him look like a cowboy, is here to talk to the duo. He is pushing Sting’s buttons tonight. The old buddies will be watching Gunnar and RVD’s match together. Flair is helping put people in the hospital and that isn’t what a manager does. RVD doesn’t have a friend out there tonight so neither will Gunnar.
Eric Young is out of his trailer and looking for ODB. The man is young, in love, and it is all fresh. He knows they’re still in the tourney and it is just a tough time. The tag titles are in these two’s hearts.
Quick highlight video of the previous weeks worth of tag matches is shown before we kick it into the finals. This match should actually be a great one to watch. We have Samoa Joe going against two men he has solid matches with all the time.
Magnus is ready for this. He doesn’t care they don’t get along. The two have been tearing it up and are finally getting it all down. Joe is on the same page and he wants this as much as Magnus now. Kaz and Styles on the other hand? They have something going that their opponents don’t; history. These two can win tag team titles because they trust the other more than their opponents ever could.
The Icon is on multiple missions tonight as he makes his way to Garrett Bischoff’s locker room. As Garrett gets ready for his refereeing gig Sting makes him stop. Even with doctors clearing him he isn’t going to let the young Bischoff go out and ref. Because he has officially been added to the TNA roster as a wrestler.
Eric Young continues his quest for ODB which leads him to the women’s lockerroom. As Gail and Madison scream at him for sneaking in he locks Madison into the a locker…yep.
Gunnar vs. Rob Van Dam
While the combatants are coming to the ring Tenay reinforces just how big of a thing Garrett becoming an official wrestler is. R-V-D chants break out with the bell. Right off the bat 420 isn’t having any of this whole “go to the hospital” thing Gunnar is going for. Van Dam is in complete control hitting spin kicks, springboard back kicks, moonsaults, and more. RVD slides to the outside to brag about how prepared he is for this match as they go to commercial break.
Coming back from The Devil Inside ad Gunnar is finally in control. Methodical offense lands forearms to D’s back and head. After controlling him for awhile RVD surprises him with two kicks that almost lead to a three count. One small slip up from Van Dam allows Gunnar to get back on top of the current situation. The crowd gets back into the match just as RVD knocks Flair’s lackey down with his patented enziguiri.
Both men to their feet at seven with Van Dam taking complete control. Shoulder thrusts in the corner are quickly followed by a scary kick to the face and a standing moonsault. After Gunnar kicks out at 2, he hit’s the floor and receives a rolling thunder for his troubles.
Flair’s newest recruit rolls to the outside and stops RVD from risking it all on the outside. With Rob out on the outside the ref counts to 10 for a double countout. This is nowhere close to over though. Gunnar removes the safety mat and goes for the piledriver to the concrete. RVD makes damn sure that just doesn’t happen at all. Rob sets Gunnar up for a high risk spin kick that misses its mark. This allows Gunnar to take his victim back to the unprotected floor. Van Dam was saved by TNA agents, former ClubWWI.com guests, Al Snow and D’Lo Brown before Flair’s man could do any permanent damage.
Camera man with all the questions is back talking to the drunk, half-painted freak, and monster in the back. What did the drunk get himself into tonight? Nothing. He isn’t scared of anything. Hell, the other two he is with can’t be either. That is why they are there. Half-painted freak? This is a great night. Sting was really nice and tonight is a warm up. Monster? Everything is great. I need nothing but Bully Ray.
Camera man with all the questions is now talking to the champ, the Olympian, and the bully.
The champ? Jeff must feel good that he has friends. That will never matter at Genesis (6). The belt won’t go away from Robert Roode. The Olympian? Past is the past. Tonight you will tap. The match at Genesis won’t happen (7). The bully? Abyss doesn’t matter. Monster’s ball will be the Bully’s playground.
Austin Aries and Kid Kash vs. Zema Ion and Jese Sorensen
Only thing I can think as the two teams come down to the ring are:
1) Zema and Aries need to promo against each other.
2) Zema’s nickname needs to become “The Prima-Donna”. Seriously, “The Prima-Donna” Zima Ion just sounds great.
These four men will be fighting at Genesis (7). Aries is going to let Kash start and he decides to choose his opponent as they argue over who should begin. Just as Jese gets the upper hand in the contest Zema decides to get in on the action. This backfires for Ion as he gets the life chopped out of him by Kash. Aries gets a tag and proceeds to beat in Zema’s face with his single-match partner.
Just as Ion gets any sort of control he begins to show off. Again, this costs him as Aries decides to chop the life out of him before attacking with a heat seeking missle. The greatest man to ever live is in full control of this tag match. He is showing why he is a champion as he attacks with the pendulum elbow drop.
Mr. Prima Donna decides he has had enough of this match so he volunteers Jese Sorensen for the job. A Double has no qualms with this at all and, being the gentleman he is, helps him into the ring…the hard way.
After giving him some shots the Kid gets into the mix. Quickly slamming Jese into the mat only brings a 2-count. Another tag leads to botched teamwork by Aries and Kash. Zema wants to steal the show again so he brings himself in by hitting a unique DDT. Kash stops a pinfall and they attempt to double team the pretty one.
Sorensen uses the opportunity to tag himself in and take it to the vet and the champ. After taking both of them out he takes Aries to the mat and climbs to the top for the end. Zema wants to show off to win the match but misses his 450 attempt. While Austin is getting prepared to deliver a brain buster Jese tags himself in. He quickly hits Aries with a devastating move and picks up the 1-2-3 (8).
Zema Ion and Jese Sorensen win
Fortune is on their way to the ring for their chance at getting a chance to wear some gold. As they leave the locker room we see that Kaz was secluded off and listening to the words of Christopher Daniels. AJ Styles is none the wiser.
Eric Young has found ODB doing a photo-shoot with some random dude. Eric wants to know why she isn’t ready for their match. It is simple dude…we’re out. They are one and done. The two wrestle to the ground with ODB going all Nala on EY’s ass by pinning him to the ground. She kisses him before leaving.
Kaz and AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe and Brutus Magnus in the Finals for the Wild Card Tag Tourney
AJ and Samoa Joe are starting this match-up off. The crowd is excited and mixed when it comes to their support of either team. Joe takes AJ to the corner and lays in some fists with kicks to match before letting Magnus come in. The two continue quick, concise tags dealing damage to Styles before letting the other come in and add in some more. The submission machine locks in an abdominal stretch as the crowd is still split between the teams.
AJ tags in Kaz after hitting a head scissors takedown while laying on the floor. Magnus stops Kaz’s early offense before making his way into the match. While Brutus gets in Kaz brings the phenomenal one into the fold letting Fortune get the advantage. Old stablemates make good partners as they match their opponents quick tags with some of their own.
This match is back and forth with no one team getting the advantage until Magnus tags Joe in. They hit a fantastic atomic drop, big boot, senton splash combo which allows Joe to go ROH all over Kaz’s ass. After throwing down some signature Joe chops and knee drops Magnus gets back into the fold (9). Kaz takes a few punches and elbows from Brutus before getting away just quickly enough to bring in the grand slam champ.
As Styles brings himself into the match he gets overtaken by Magnus quickly. Within the same instance this momentum is killed with a pele kick. The Fallen Angel appears on the ramp as Styles goes to tag in his fresher partner. Kaz looks at Danny and decides to leave AJ high and dry. Joe and Brutus make quick work of Styles before picking up the victory (10).
Brutus Magnus and Samoa Joe win the Wild Card Tag Tourney
Camera man with all the questions wants to know how the tag champs now feel knowing who their challengers will be this Sunday at Genesis (11). Before Morgan or Crimson can respond their opponents arrive fresh off of their victory. You see that out there? That is the future for you two. Don’t scratch Joe’s belt. He likes that stuff to look pretty. Former ClubWWI.com man D’Lo Brown breaks the two teams up before things escalate (12).
Breakdown of the Genesis card (13).
Jeff Hardy, Abyss, and James Storm vs. Robert Roode, Bully Ray, and Kurt Angle
The crowd is again alive and vibrant as both teams come to the ring (14). I think James Storm may have offered a fan his beer and Jeff Hardy reached to the camera man to help him learn sign language. That guy has totally lost his ability to record this match from an unbiased viewpoint. While their opponents enter Bully Ray decides to go behind Robert Roode and shake his belt a few times. Wants you to know you can never get what he has in his hands (14).
This soon-to-be chaotic mess starts with Jamie and Bully. Ray toys around the ring a little and antagonizes Abyss; afterwards deciding to lock-up with James Storm and take him to the corner. No clean break here, but Storm moves out of the way before suffering any damage. James tags in the monster which makes Ray back off and bring in the world champ.
Hesitantly, Robert Roode enters the fight against the monster. He strikes suddenly and low which gives him control over Abyss. That lasts as long as an orgasm before Abyss takes him down with a boot. Ray cheap shots Abyss allowing his team to weaken the monster.
Impact comes back from commercial with Angle taking Abyss to the ground and bringing back in the champ. As both men are in the ring Abyss gets in a double clothesline; which gives him time to tag in James Storm.
Storm goes crazy on Angle and his ex-partner. After taking one man out he goes towards the other. This action is repeated a few times until Bully Ray decides he has had enough of it. The crowd wants Hardy, but they get Bully Ray instead. The best thing going in TNA today is lighting James Storm up all over the squared circle. A delayed vertical suplex leads to a 2-count.
With his opponent for Sunday on the mat, Kurt comes through the ropes (15). Angle can’t get much offense in before Jeff Hardy finally gets the tag we’ve been waiting for. He takes out all of his opponents before nailing the champ with a twist of fate stunner. The match has broken down with all six men pairing off to beat on their rivals coming this Sunday at Genesis (16).
As Hardy is about to hit the Swanton Bully Ray stops him. James Storm prevents Bully Ray from hurting anyone else just before succumbing to a Last Call Superkick by Kurt Angle. Abyss attacks Angle just as Bully Ray brings out a chain to teach the monster a lesson. Impact fades to black as Ray, Roode, and Angle have full control over their Genesis opponents (17).
Current TNA Genesis Card: January 8th, 2012
Jeff Hardy vs. Robert Roode for the TNA Championship
Samoa Joe and Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan and Crimson for the TNA Tag Titles
D’Angelo Dinero w/ Double Trouble vs. Devon
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm
Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries for the X Division Title
Bully Ray vs. Abyss - Monster’s Ball match (If Abyss loses he rejoins Immortal)
Gunnar vs. RVD
Gail Kim vs. Mickie James for the Knockouts Championship
Conclusion and Thoughts
18 That is the number of times in that two hour block someone said some variation of “This Sunday at Genesis”. Some of people’s biggest complaints on the boards are all about how much they mention their ppvs. Granted I know a lot has to do with how much of the PPV is planned beforehand but this show coming up was pretty well established. Three weeks out we knew there would be a tag title match, Dinero and Devon, who the champ was fighting, and more.
Hyped well and fully prepared for what comes this Sunday at Genesis.
There were solid moments throughout the night and many of the interviews with the main eventers this week hit on all cylinders. As always, I cannot stress the quality of Bully Ray. From off the cuff comments to actually talking to the camera he is there every single time. The weight being thrown into “Jeff Hardy’s tale of redemption” is working quite nicely as well. Only quasi-weird thing is James Storm being fully wrapped up in Angle instead of the best friend who stabbed him in the back just mere weeks ago.
Highlight of the Night
The Impact Zone crowd. They’ve gotten lots of flack from people all over the place talking about how they are always dead on their hands. I don’t know if this show was on the road, but these people were on their feet all night. Even some of the talking segments had the fans in the crowd going along with it. The show was pretty quality throughout and these people responded to it the way they should have. Them + the show are a great lead in to Genesis this Sunday.;
Lowlight of the Night
Again it is Eric Young. I understand this could be a personal preference but I just don’t like it. I think you can do a comedic character in wrestling without venturing into the “he is probably mentally challenged / brain damaged” route. Santino Marella is not a great example of this at all either. He has a great look for the whacked out weirdo…the character just doesn’t go with it. With so much actually clicking on Impact this week his stuff looked all the worse by comparison to boot.
Five Questions for TNA
1) Could I seriously get an explanation on the Bully Ray entrance? As we go on it is just getting completely weirder. Now he is showing it off In ring.
2) So you have a backstage segment that saves the idea of D’Angelo Dinero vs. Devon Dudley but then don’t put them on television for the go home show? Why not? They’ve helped make it something that might not end up terrible. That is saying something for a angle involving child custody.
3) I get the Twitter question of the week. I totally understand it, but I need to ask: Why is it once a show you make sure to fill the bottom forth of the screen with the internet address of Dixie Carter’s twitter account? What does that have to do with the actual program? Does she use it like the Raw GM does?
4) You make all the themes in house right? I only ask because they all kind of still sound like generic-esk stuff that WCW would use all the time. You know, the just changed enough songs that you can’t be sued for. Could you hire someone else maybe?
5) Does Eric Young sell a lot of merch or something? I just am so curious as to how he has continued to be there since the inception of Team Canada.