From WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
Fritz Stephey's Real Time TNA Impact Report: After Kurt Hits His Wife
By Fritz Stephey
Jun 19, 2008 - 11:02 PM
This report is being written in real time, you may need to hit refresh in order to see the latest updates.
Last Week on iMPACT!: Kurt Angle sent a hit out on his wife; A World Title match opened the show; There was an awesome World X-Cup preview match, and AJ Styles and Karen Angle were laid to rest in the ring.
And again, WWI TNA faithful, it is time to buckle up, and cross the line. We open with Jay Lethal at the bar where his bachelor party was held. He says he's gonna give Sonjay something to ruin. Quick video recap of last week.
We're opening iMPACT! with Booker T vs...BG James. I know you're excited. Booker hit the axe-kick probably the fastest I've ever seen and picks up the win (...no, that wasn't the match...I just wasn't paying attention until that point).
Backstage, JB is with Samoa Joe. JB throws out the same statement Kevin nash threw out last week about not being able to beat Booker T. Nash shows up during this interview and Joe calls him the great and powerful Oz. Joe asks when Big Sexy last beat T. 15 years ago? Joe says until Nash beats Booker T...everything he says is B.S.
<Commercial Break>
As we return, we are shown a video package to preview the World X-Cup. Perfect segway into a World X-Cup 1st Round match.
Daivari and Tyson Dukes of Team International are taking on The Motor City Machine Guns! The TNA crowds wastes no time to chant USA to piss off ol' Shawny-Boy. Dukes and Shelley are starting this match off. Shelley gives him a big knee to the stomach and slaps on a side-headlock. He follows up with a dropkick, tags in Sabin and monkey-flips Tyson. Daivari is tagged in, flies from the top into Sabin's fist. Sabin did a nice move, sending Tyson right on to Shawn. Sabin face-plants Duke Nuke 'Em. Sabin goes nuts and hits an enziguri on Dukes. Outside, Daivari grabs Chris and sends him face-first into the outside canvas. We then go split-screen to watch AJ and Tomko fight.
<Commercial Break>
We return to the action with Shawn Daivari over Sabin. Chris fights off a double team, and Shelley takes out Tyson. Huge clothesline in the corner from Shelley, and he goes up top. Big splash but only a 2-count! Hurricanrana from Daivari! Cutter from Sabin to Shawn! Slice Bread by Shelley and he picks up the 3!
Backstage AJ is beating the sh*t out of Kurt Angle on what is clearly a sound stage.
As we return from a commercial break that I didn't tell you about (
That's the great thing about being a real-timer...I can pull sh*t like that off, and you're clueless), we have a video package of Gail Kim's history. Immediately following, Mike and Don have a satellite interview with Karen Angle. Last week, Kurt had her laid out. She keeps saying the same thing...nothing happened between her and AJ.
We cut to Commercial break...seriously
We look back to last week when LAX retained the Tag Titles, but were later beaten by James Storm and Roode.
Jim Cornette is in the ring, speaking of a unique challenge. LAX makes their way to the ring. Hector apparently proposed a Fans Revenge Lumberjack match (
...not AGAIN!!!!) between LAX and Roode and Storm. Hector and LAX have not forgotten what you did to them (
It was just last week! And when you go by the tapings, a mere hour ago!!!). Hector signs the deal. JC calls out Robert Roode and Storm, as well as Jaquelin. Jaque is the only one to come out. SHe doesn't know where the guys are. Salinas and Jaque wanna get at it, and Jimmy is caught in the middle...if you want it so bad, later tonight, it's Jaquelin vs. Salinas.
Jeremy Borash makes his way to the ring with Awesome Kong and Riasha Siaed. It's time for the $25,000 challenge. Upon return from the commercial break, Kong will eat another TNA Loyal Fan.
<Commercial Break>
As we return, we have 3 volunteers. Taylor is taking on Kong, and she decks her right out the gate. Taylor is the first in the ring, waiting for Kong. One question...
WHAT did
WE do to
DESERVE THIS!? Kong has a chair! Taylor dropkicks the chair into Kong and wails on her with the chair! The ref hasn't called for the bell...I didn't know these matches were no DQ. Missle Dropkick, 1-2...NO! Taylor goes up top, dives outside, and Kong catches her and smashes her back-first into the audience barricade. Taylor finds some steam, but gets a monster clothesline from Kong. Kong goes for an awesome bomb, misses it as Taylor dodges, but Taylor wraps herself back into one and suffers the same fate as the rest. Kong wins.
Backstage, Team 3D apparently put Rhino through a table. They're bragging about it...but we saw nothing.
<Commercial break>
Backstage, JB is with The Guru Sonjay Dutt. What are YOU doing back here? You're supposed to be brawling at the bar! Sonjay is a Guru, buddy. No violence...and I love Val.
Alex Koslov is back and ready for action. Tenay and West inform us that this is NOT a World X-Cup match. It is a special challenge. He is taking on Kaz. Arm drag from Kaz, and he then dodges 2 clothesline and kicks down the Russian. Scoop-slam, followed by a leg drop. As Kaz is on the outside apron, Koslov hits a nasty kick to the head, sending Kaz off. Alex says this match is over, as he goes for a Russian Leg Sweep. Kaz reverses it into a DDT. Big clothesline followed by a dropkick from Frankie Kazarian. Big spinning kick to the back of the head onto Kaz!
Wave of the Future from Kaz, and he picks up the 3-count!
<Commcercial break>
TNAs Rought Cut this week is featuring Matt Morgan's childhood. Turns out he had ADD, and people though he was insane. It's to be continued...
Backs---erm at the Pink Tortilla Chips (or whatever the hell the place is called), Sonjay and Jay Lethal fight. SD says Val is in love with him. Jay doesn't say much aside from "You ruined my wedding!".
Team 3D either just word-for-word repeated a promo on Christian Cage...or they replayed the one I'm recognizing. Turns out Team 3D will be taking on Christian and AJ Styles. They plan to spill blood and break AJs neck for Kurt Angle and HIS broken neck (the one he had...um...in the past I guess). Devon calls AJ a hick. Oh my brother...TESTIFY!
Jaquelin vs. Salinas is up next. Jaque picked up the win...sry for lack of coverage as I received a pretty important call. Although, I got some help from WWI Faithful ThinkSoJoe and JohnnyCraze:
"Damn. I stepped out of the room to get dressed for "work". I'm out, later folks!" - ThinkSoJoe
...damn, indeed.
"
Jacqueline made Salinas submit then whipped her with a belt she was hiding in her shirt. The match was pretty good with both women getting an equal amount of offense in. Jacqueline won with a sit down neck hold submission.
Is that good enough?"-JohnnyCraze
That sounds absolutely ridiculous...it must be true.
(Random Thought: Why would you hide a belt under your shirt? Wouldn't you just...WEAR IT!? Silly TNA)
<Comm. Break>
It's time for the TNA iMPACT! Featured Contest, Christian Cage and AJ Styles vs. Team 3D. AJ and CC charge up the ramp to meet 3D on their way down. Big dropkick from AJ right out of the gate. AJ charged into empty turnbuckle as Ray dived out of the way. What's UP, as Team 3D hits that very move on AJ Styles. They GET THE TABLES, and Christian Cage dropkicks it into their faces. AJ dives outside of the ring and takes down 3D!
<Commercial Break>
We're back! Double clothesline from Cage on 3D! Failed unprettier, reversed by Devon, but reversed again by Cage into a takedown. Frogsplash on Devon, but it's only a 2-count! 3D on Christian! 1-2-NO! AJ blind tags in and hits a flying forearm on Devon and knocks Ray off the edge. Double diving head butts from AJ and CC. Doomsday from 3D to Styles but it's STILL only a 2 count. Christian nails a hurricanrana from the corner on Ray!!! PELE from a groggy Styles! He sends Ray out and hits an inverted DDT on Devon, and picks up the 3-count!
MMA's Frank Trigg makes his way to the ring. He's arguing with AJ and Christian...and that cue's in Kurt Angle and a beat-down! Angle locks on the Ankle Lock on AJ Styles. The final words from Kurt are "You looking for me you son of a b*tch...you've FOUND me!".
All In All...decent. Didn't flow as well as last weeks iMPACT! but still had it's good matches and good moments. And hey...the main event wasn't thrown due to a run-in! There's a first for everything!
Thanks for reading the report folks! As always, comments, suggestions and general feedback is appreciated and encouraged! You know how to find me. Keep your eyes peeled for another article this week...Fritz out!
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