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The TNA Impact Report: Angle Gets Stretchered Out, Lashley Fails To Beat Eric Young, and TNA Gets Red and Yellow Fever
By Jay Winterz
After a tough week, I'm back folks... Here we go! The show started with TNA telling fans to stay tuned for the debut of The Hulkster. The video showed clips of Hulk Hogan and Dixie Carter at the press conference. They also show some footage from last week of Desmond Wolfe attacking Kurt Angle. Still on the yellow and red, Mike Tenay and Taz talk about Hogan signing with TNA. Here comes Desmond Wolfe to the ring. He say's "Ladies and gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, my name is Desmond Wolfe." He said he's known as "Wolfe" to his friends, but "Mr. Wolfe to you" He said he's not going to call himself the next big thing,because he's the only thing. He goes on to mention that he was raised in London and was born to be a fighter. Wolfe said he doesn't need a gold medal to prove how tough he is, and then said Angle didn't win his medal on points, the judges gave it to him because they felt bad for him. He said he could have broken Kurt's neck. He then says, "That makes me the greatest wrestler in the history of TNA." Kurt's music hits and here he comes. He said he didn't know Wolfe before, but he does now. He said, "I don't know where you came from or who sent you, but you overstayed your welcome, and you've got to go." Angle went on to say that the young wrestlers in TNA have earned his respect, but Wolfe earned nothing. Kurt adds "No one comes to my backyard and pisses in it." Kurt then demands Wolfe 1 on 1 in the ring...in a street fight. Lauren is with A. J. Styles. They are watching footage of the mystery man attacking him last week. A. J. said they've watched the tape over and over and cant tell who it is. Samoa Joe comes in the room and said it wasn't him. Joe accuses Daniels, but Styles does not believe it. They show Awesome Kong destroying Booker T's old dressing room. Taz and Tenay say she is going crazy because she has no handler. I think she should get Kim-chee..You know Kamala's old handler. Anywho.. They show Dixie Carter arriving in New York City . Match 1: Tara vs Alisya Flash Flash started off hot. They did a lot of back and forth stuff but in the end Tara won with a fireman's carry into a side slam for the pin. Winner: Tara After the match, Kong came to the ring and attacked. She hit the Implant Buster on Tara on right on top of Flash. Brutal. They show Team 3D's locker room. Rhino enters and says that Hernandez tried to end his career last week because that's what TNA wanted him to do. The Man Beast says he has Matt Morgan will try to do the same. Brother Ray insists that Rhino has too many conspiracy theories. Ray claims Rhino is paranoid but the former Champion is convinced something is going on and all the young wrestlers are in on it. Team 3D laughs and then leave the room. Match 2: The Motor City Machine Guns vs Team 3D Taz pointed out that Devon was wearing a knee brace and said he suffered an injury at Bound For Glory. This was a decent match, for it to be such a short match. They do there typical tag match double teams, with some good spots. Brother Ray hit the urinage that injured Sabin. They showed it several times and pointed out that it was obvious Sabin was hurt. Tenay said it was hard to watch. ("I would say ,Tenay close your eyes then , because they showed it about 37 times, maybe 38..but who's counting?" ) Sabin gets the tag. The match continues, and the trainers are helping Sabin in the corner. Later in the match, Sabin put Devon in a half-crab on Devon's injured leg. Devon slammed his hand down on , and the ref called for the bell. Shelley went right to his corner to check on his partner. Winners: The Motor City Machine Guns Backstage, Lauren interviewed Scott Steiner. Match 3: Eric Young vs Bobby Lashley in a TNA Legends Championship match Pretty, sucky match!! But I'm not the biggest E.Y fan, so any match he is in would suck to me.. Tenay says that Lashley will have gold on him soon and maybe tonight's the night.. They show Kristal Lashley in the crowd again. Back in the six sided ring, they are going at it. Both wrestlers fought to the floor early on. Lashley tries to get Young back in the ring, but Young fought it off. Scott Steiner came out and clotheslined Lashley. Steiner then posed for Kristal . They got back in the ring. Lashley put on his finisher, but Steiner entered the ring and hit Lashley with a chair to end the match. Steiner put Lashley in the Steiner Recliner. Because of this, Mike Tenay says the match has been thrown out. Winner: No contest We are back with the World Elite standing in the ring. They talk about the British Invasion being suspended until the PPV. Eric grabs the mic and says that he gave Lashley his first loss. Tenay points out it was a no-contest. Young said the TNA Legend's Championship is dead, and its now known as the Global Championship. He said there are two rules. He said the belt won't be defended on American soil, and he will never defend it against American wrestlers. Here comes Kevin Nash. Nash said that Eric Young didn't keep up his end of the bargain at the pay-per-view. Beer Money hit the ring from behind World Elite and ran them off with chairs. Nash said Young can run, but he can't hide... Backstage, Styles told Daniels he didn't think he attacked him last week. Daniels took offense to Styles not saying he knew for sure. Angered, Daniels said he was going to take it up with Samoa Joe. Match 4: The Beautiful People vs ODB, Hamada, and Christy Hemme The announcers talk about of Hulk Hogan joining TNA again. The best part of this match was the entrance of the Beautiful People.. This match was horrible, and usually the ladies put on decent showings.. Anywho.. Lacy gets in for the first time, She puts Hemme in a chokeslam and pins her. A horrible choke slam at that. Lacy needs some work..ring work, that is.. her physical looks are great. After the match, Awesome Kong came out. Then Tara ran out and jumped Kong. They brawled with security seperating them. Winners: The Beautiful People They show footage from Bound For Glory of Abyss beating Mick Foley Dr. Stevie comes out and challenges Abyss. Match 5: Abyss vs Dr. Stevie in a no DQ match There were plenty of weapons ringside. Tenay said it was scheduled to be a handicap match, but management decided this was the only way to settle things. Abyss dominated this match. (Like it would have been any other way.) Abyss won the match clean, but Dr. Stevie attacked him from behind with a kendo stick just seconds after the pin. Stevie choked out Abyss with it. Mick Foley's music comes on and he runs to the ring. Once there, Foley told Stevie to give him the stick. Mick winds up and he hits... Stevie with the stick instead. Winner: Abyss Backstage, Jeremy Borash asked Mick Foley for comments. He declinced. Match 6: Matt Morgan vs Rhino I can't stand both these guys.. so in a nutshell, the winner is, Matt Morgan. He won with his carbon footprint. Winner: Matt Morgan After the match, Rhino jumped Morgan and gored him. Rhino set up for another gore, but Hernandez came out so Rhino left. The Man Beast took the mic and said no one is taking him out of TNA... Backstage, they show Daniels talking to Joe. Also backstage, J. B interviewed Kurt Angle, who cut a promo about Desmond Wolfe attacking him. In another part of the arena, they show A. J. Styles lying on the ground. It looks like he was attacked.. Lauren is outside as an ambulance takes Styles away. She told viewers to check the TNA website for updates on his health... Match 7: Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle Taz says he'd heard that Wolfe has a dangerous clothesline. They battled at ringside.. It was a wild showing from both guys. Angle was getting the crowd into it, when Wolfe came from behind, and hit him with a closeline from hell... oops that was JBL. He hit him with a Russian cycle, nope my bad that's Nikita Koloff's, finisher. Anyway, he hit him with a mean-ass closeline! Angle was not moving. Desmond rolled him over and seemed to be very happy with what he has done. Desmond stood there as the show went to commercial. After the break, they show Angle being taken out on a stretcher. They showed the clothesline that took Angle out again. And now its time for the press conference footage which featured Eric Bischoff introducing Hulk Hogan, who then introduced Dixie Carter as "my new business partner." Hogan then told a fan they were getting back in the ring. Dixie stood up and announced that she was thrilled that Hogan was joining the company. The Hulkster said he felt like he's been born again. He informed the press that TNA was the company that would lead the way in the future. Hulk said his goal is to make TNA the number one sports entertainment company in the business. He added that he thinks the company needed this move to make a statement. "I'm really looking forward to getting in the mix." *** On a personal note.. I am glad Hogan is coming back. We know many people will say its a bad move, but you will have many that will think its a great move on TNA's part. All I can say is it has been seen, time and time again, with the Hulkster, his fans from back in the day, who still follow wrestling, have his back. If he can get just 1/3 of his old Hulk-a-maniacs to watch TNA, that will bring there ratings up,to a point where they can be considered legit competition. I also think the fact that Eric Bishoff is there will also mean, that things will get better for TNA. Eric has a great mind for the business. He might not have the money he had when he was running WCW, but I think with his creative juices, and Hogan's star power, we could be in for some great wrestling moments in the next few months. I think even the nostalgic side will payoff. You know when Hogan shows up, some of his old buddies come as well. Can we say The Nasty Boys vs 3D, OK maybe not, but it will be good to see,some of the old guys and to see what happens next..Folks whatever you think about Hogan, In the wrestling world he is the true "KING of KING's". The only Triple H I ever really liked was The Triple H, which stood for Hollywood Hulk Hogan. So put on you seatbelts, and let's all go on this wild ride... Until next time... SHOWS OVER FOLKS!!! GO HOME!!!
Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on... Lance
Cade D-Ray
3000 Bobby
Eaton Manny
Fernandez Greg Gagne Chalie
Haas B.G.
James
Rodney
Mack One
Man Gang Harley
Race Dave Taylor
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