This Week In TNA This Week In TNA Special Edition: No Surrender Review
By Mike Johns
Sep 6, 2010 - 11:42 AM
Welcome to This Week in TNA's coverage of No Surrender.
I'm Mike Johns, and for the next... however long it takes you to read this... we're going to take a look at TNA's latest Pay Per View extravaganza.
We actually get a pretty decent intro video this month, profiling the four men competing in the Semifinals of the title tournament tonight.
It's certainly a step up from the last few months' worth of opening videos, to say the least.
It's not quite the Sahadi intros of old, but, well, even Sahadi had an off month or two…
In the meantime, I hope everyone reading this takes the time to check out the intro video I made for this edition of This Week in TNA.
I went to a lot of trouble to put this particular one together, and I'm actually rather proud of it, for what it is, at least.
I wanted to put something together where I didn't have to rely on TNA's production team for footage, and instead chose to incorporate still shots from ringside taken during events leading up to the PPV.
Sure, I'm still using TNA's photographers, but at least they know what they hell they're doing.
Unfortunately, I likely won't be doing too many more like this in the foreseeable future, as it takes me about 6 times as long to put something like this together, and I just don't have that kind of spare time to dedicate to this at the moment…
First match of the night is the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me, replacing London Brawling over undisclosed "Personal Reasons".
T & T talk up GenMe's Christian Heritage, as well as the subtle change in attitude as of late, hinting at a possible GenMe heel turn.
As usual, a strong, face-paced showing by both teams, especially GenMe, who showed hints of a full-on heel turn throughout the match, even managing to get the Impact Zone to turn on them at various points in the match.
Jeremy nails Shelley with a neckbreaker on the ring apron, allowing GenMe to take over the match, working the heel strategy of quick tags and cutting the ring in half, working on the weak neck of Alex Shelley.
GenMe is actually reminding me, in places, of the Rockers, right now, both with their look, and some of the double-team moves they're incorporating.
Shelley finally gets the hot tag on Sabin, who cleans house.
After a series of high-flying activity on both sides, it comes down to Sabin and Max in the ring.
GenMe nails a double-team Sliced Bread for a 2 count, as Shelly barely makes the save.
Superkick-a-palooza follows, as nearly everyone nails at least one on someone else.
The Guns win it out in the end, though, hitting the Skull and Bones on Jeremy for the win.
After the match, the heel turn is made official, as GenMe attacks the Guns after the match, then DDT Shelley onto the concrete floor off the ring apron, forcing the EMTs to come out and help him to the back.
Our next match is the X Title match between Sabu and Doug Williams.
Doug comes out to some snazzy new ring music, embracing the indy rock roots of his homeland.
Unfortunately, Taz goes on to call it Techno.
Seriously.
Someone needs to take Taz out to a club sometime.
Strangely enough, Sabu actually hangs with Doug in the early going on the technical front, which old-school Sabu fans wouldn't expect.
As the match progresses, Sabu falls back to the strategy we know him best for, even going for a table as he and Doug are fighting on the outside.
Doug takes back over in the ring, as expected, but Sabu tries a springboard huracanrana and screwed it up pretty bad, by the looks of it.
Fortunately, no one is hurt, and Sabu goes for a chair.
Ref reminds him this isn't ECW, and the crowd, knowing how Sabu works, chants for tables and chairs.
Sabu does get to use the chair for his triple-jump moonsault, though.
Williams takes over again, grounding and pounding Sabu.
Sabu makes another comeback, taking to the air some more, and keeps getting to use the chair as a springboard, but, once again, the chair works against Sabu as Doug nails him low with it and takes over again.
Sabu sets Doug up on the table on the outside, and Sabu misses with the Arabian Facebuster through the table.
Doug rolls back into the ring, grabs the chair, tries to use it on Sabu.
Ref takes the chair, and Doug grabs the X belt as the ref pitches the chair, nails Sabu, then gets the pin.
We then get an Anderson promo, talking about how he's going to beat the Pope tonight, then encouraging the crowd to chant "We are Assholes".
Next, we have Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky, both coming out to the same music (which I imagine will be the basis of the BP vs. Maddie/Tara match at Bound For Glory).
Tara comes out with Maddie on the Bike, while Angelina accompanies Velvet to the ring.
This is pretty much your standard catfight as a match format, with the two former partners more or less clawing at each other for a few minutes.
Maddie shows her superior ring skills, controlling most of the match, while Velvet seems to work surprisingly well as a babyface.
Tara tries to interfere, just to get a botox injection courtesy of Angie for her trouble.
Velvet Sky picks up the win with the DDT.
Next match is Rhino vs. Abyss, falls count anywhere.
The fight starts the moment Abyss walks out, as Rhino wastes no time attacking the monster.
Less than a minute in, and the fight's already heading towards the back, knocking the cameraman down in the process.
Into the back and into the back lot, under the rollercoasters and whatnot, they just keep fighting.
Eventually, we brawl back into the Impact Zone, brawl into the crowd, back to the ring, and we go back to pretending it's a wrestling match.
Now we brawl up the ramp, and by the ramp, and around the ramp.
Brawl, brawl, brawl.
Rhino throws Abyss through the stage, and then they brawl UNDER the stage.
No, seriously.
The match is now going on somewhere where we can't see it.
They eventually break back through the stage, and the brawling continues.
Dear god, this sucks.
Brawl, brawl, brawl, brawl.
Going nowhere, doing nothing, just trading fakey punches.
Oh, and eventually, we come back to the ring, "Janice" (Abyss' special 2x4) almost comes into play, and Rhino even manages to kick out of a Black Hole Slam.
Abyss sets up the guardrail in the corner, tries to powerbomb Rhino into it, and Rhino goes for the gore.
Abyss sidesteps, Rhino goes head-first into the rail, and Abyss nails the Black Hole Slam for the win.
Then, we go to Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett.
Nash and Sting come out together to the old Wolfpac music, and Sting, once again, in the red paint.
No white trim, this time, though.
It's a shame, because it looked better with the white and black trim.
The big question here is whether or not Joe is really playing for the team or not, so I guess we can expect a turn any second now.
Joe dominates the early part of the match, beating the hell out of Sting as the TNA faithful chant his name.
TNA takes this moment to remind us that there will be NO Impact this Thursday.
As Nash and Joe fight on the outside, Jarrett attacks Sting with his own bat as the ref is distracted.
Joe locks Sting in the Coquina Clutch as Jarrett holds Nash down on the floor, and Sting taps out, giving Jeff and Joe the win.
We follow that up with the I Quit match between AJ Styles and Tommy Dreamer.
AJ comes out first, and hides behind one of the pillars on stage as Tommy comes out.
AJ tries to get the jump on Tommy but misses, and the two fight into the ring, and around the ring, and out of the ring.
AJ manages to remind the camera that he is the Prince of Phenomenal, which Taz reacts to as if AJ just thought of it.
Apparently, Taz didn't watch TNA in 2008, when Kurt Angle dubbed AJ the "Prince of Phenomenal" as a part of the Angle Alliance.
The match follows the pattern you'd expect – they fight a bit, nail something ridiculously painful, lock in a submission hold, then have the ref ask if the opponent quits, just to have them say "no".
It's actually being executed rather well, it's just not much to actually talk about without going into full-on play by play.
Tommy controls the match for the most part, with AJ constantly telling Tommy to go screw himself every time the ref asks AJ if he wants to quit.
About halfway through, Taz starts bitching at the ref to put the mic up to the guys mouths, so we can actually hear them say whether they quit or not, which is really the only major glitch in the whole execution of this match.
Slick Johnson sucks at I Quit matches.
Meanwhile, Tommy freaking rules at them.
We may need to note Tommy new ring attire at this point, which he says is a tribute to Goldust, but actually looks more like something a Luchador would wear – black with gold trim and different designs on the chest and legs.
AJ actually tries to gouge Tommy's eye out with a fork at one point, and this is where Tommy finally screams the words "I Quit", giving AJ the win.
We then go into our first semifinal match, Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy.
Seriously.
The match you likely sold this PPV with is only a semi-main behind the Pope and Anderson.
Okay…
Oh, and look who's out to steal the spotlight from the wrestlers doing what they do best in the ring, once again?
Yes, that's right, Dixie Carter's making yet another on-camera appearance at ringside to watch this match for… some reason.
She says it was too important not to see, even though she was warned by people or whatever not to because of FOURtune and the Wolfpac and whatnot, but damn it all if she's here, stealing the spotlight from Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy.
So, Dixie at ringside, Angle in a semi-main, announcers talking up how Angle will retire if he loses like there's no tomorrow, and a near-obvious Pope heel turn to come in the next match… something tells me Angle's losing here.
And retiring… for four weeks until he, Sting, Nash, and the rest of the Pack reunite and reveal that "They" were planning this all along.
The match, as one would expect, sees Angle on his A-Game, as usual, and Jeff more or less throwing his body around the way he usually does.
Most of the time, the match works, but there's the occasional blown spot you come to expect when Jeff gets in the moment, so to speak.
The match may make a DVD collection on marquee value more than on actual performance, but certainly not a letdown by any means.
Meanwhile, there's Dixie, in case you forgot she was at ringside, again.
In fact, once Jeff dives onto Kurt, forcing a near double-countout, we seem to get a camera shot of Dixie every two or three spots.
Angle also seems to be nursing the arm here.
Kurt nails a frogsplash, and the Dixie shots seem to dissipate for the time being, but T & T talk up Angle's arm as Jeff regains momentum and nails a Twist of Fate.
He goes for a cover, only gets two, then nails a Swanton, also only for two.
Jeff nails a second Swanton, and yet another 2 count.
Jeff goes to the well one more time, but Angle gets the knees up to block it.
Angle slam for 2, and we've burnt through every finish but the ankle lock now, at least twice.
So, of course, Angle goes for the ankle lock.
Jeff escapes, and the match continues.
Another attempt at an ankle lock by Angle, and Jeff manages to eventually get the rope, but Angle pulls him away.
Jeff fights out again, and Angle goes back to it again.
Nine years pass, and Jeff still doesn't tap, so Angle goes for the leg grapevine on top of the ankle lock.
Jeff still refuses to tap.
12 more years pass, and the bell rings unexpectedly.
The time limit expires.
Wait… there's a TIME LIMIT?!
In a semifinal match of a World Title Tournament?!
Seriously?
So the timekeeper tells JB that the ref declares it a draw (even though the ref was as surprised by the bell as everyone else was) as the fans chant "5 More Minutes".
So, of course, Eric Bischoff comes out and orders the match go 5 more minutes.
The match resumes, and Angle attacks the ankle like there's no tomorrow.
Meanwhile, we keep getting shots of Bisch and Dixie at ringside as Hardy and Angle continue to kill one another in the ring.
Angle nails a top rope Angle Slam, but only gets a 2 count.
The five minutes elapse, and we still have no winner.
The fans chant "5 more minutes" again.
So, instead of just saying "screw the time limit", Bisch gives it 5 more minutes.
Meanwhile, we've found two wrestlers who would kick out of the Touch of God's Hand if asked, apparently, as they've tossed out every possible big move they can on one another.
To TNA's credit, they have justified the fact they burned through 6 of the announced 8 matches in under an hour and a half by letting this go so long.
Kurt gets busted open on the ring stairs, and Hardy actually goes for a Liontamer on Angle.
Angle counters into yet another ankle lock in the grapevine with 30 seconds left in double overtime.
Who wants to bet we have to go into a third overtime?
Of course.
Time runs out, AGAIN.
Trainers come out to check on Angle and Hardy as the fans chant "Let them fight".
Bisch gets word from the back, then confers with the ref and the trainers before asking for a mic.
Bischoff then declares the match a No Contest, at the advice of the doctors, who claim the cut on Kurt's forehead is too bad off to allow the match to continue.
I'd assume a similar conclusion was made on Jeff's ankle, but no one actually says so, so who knows.
You just paid $35 for a No Contest.
Congratulations, TNA fans.
We go to the back, where the Pope be talking about Anderson.
This leads us into our second semifinal match in the TNA World Title tournament – Mr. Anderson vs. The Pope.
Hopefully this one bothers to have an actual finish…
I should note that Anderson actually has "A**hole" on his tights.
I normally don't censor "Asshole" here, but, because TNA did on his tights, that's how I typed it here.
I should also note that I'd give more of a crap about this match if the last one didn't have such a BS ending to it.
Dixie Carter actually had the gall to tweet about it as we speak.
@TNADixie via her Echofon - "
Angle. Hardy. Unreal."
Yes.
Unreal that TNA actually made people PAY to see Angle and Hardy end in a NO CONTEST.
Seriously, Dixie – WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!
So, back to the match I'm now too angry about to review fairly.
What's sad is, it's actually pretty good.
Still not good enough to follow Angle/Hardy, even with the screwy finish, but would have been a good match to lead into it.
The crowd also seems to be out of it.
I have to imagine people in the Impact Zone are just as pissed as the peeps on the Twitter are right now concerning this turn of stupidity around Angle/Hardy.
Pope's probably having the best match of his TNA career here, as Anderson is… well… he hasn't hurt anyone yet, so it seems to be working out.
I can't imagine this match getting any of its proper due after the debacle that was Angle/Hardy, but it's actually pretty good, considering, which is too bad, because NO ONE is going to remember this.
NO ONE.
Anderson wins the match with the Mic Check after Pope misses with the DDE.
Game over, no one gives a sh*t.
Oh, and we don't get any follow up on this until September 16.
Congratulations, TNA Fans.
You just paid $35 dollars to find out you're going to have to wait two weeks to find out how the hell TNA is going to resolve the issue that is Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy.
So, to recap –
-The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Generation Me to retain the TNA World Tag Team Championships
-Doug Williams successfully defended the X-Division Championship against Sabu
-Velvet Sky defeats Madison Rayne
-Abyss defeats Rhino in a Falls Count Anywhere match
-Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe defeat Sting and Kevin Nash
-AJ Styles forces Tommy Dreamer to say "I Quit" by nearly gouging Tommy's eye out with a fork
-Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy ultimately ends in a No Contest
-And Mr. Anderson defeats Pope D'Angelo Dinero to advance to the finals of the TNA World Title Tournament at Bound For Glory on October 10.
Final Thoughts: I don't think I've ever been so angry after a PPV in my life, and that is saying something.
I'm not even sure what I'm more angry about, the fact that TNA had people pay $35 to see Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy one on one for the first time in nearly a decade, and only (I believe) the second time in total throughout their entire careers
end in a No Contest after going through three time extensions – OR – the fact that Dixie Carter had the gall to tweet about it, as if it were something to be proud of, only minutes after this BS finish was allowed to occur on her program.
I honestly can't see how anyone in TNA can expect anyone to ever buy another one of their Pay Per Views ever again after what they pulled here tonight.
I can't imagine anyone in their right mind actually paying to watch another TNA Pay Per View after what they pulled here tonight.
I can't see how anyone in that Impact Zone could possibly have gone home happy after seeing that debacle take place right in front of their eyes.
Never, and I mean NEVER, have I seen a wrestling company blatantly care so little for what the customers wanted and paid to see, and, believe me, I've seen a lot of stupid sh*t.
I was alive when Verne Gagne felt it was more important to hold Hulk Hogan up for money concerning his merchandising and his Japan bookings rather than do the right thing for business and give the fans the title change they waited months and paid twice as much as usual to see.
I watched as WCW stripped Sting of the WCW Title after Starrcade 1997.
I watched live as Hogan beat Nash with a finger push for the WCW Title.
I made it a point to watch as the NWO reunited and destroyed Goldberg in mere seconds.
I watched as WWE turned WCW and ECW, two companies I loved and supported against McMahon in the Monday Night Wars, get turned into mockeries of themselves, run by Vince's kids, and led by some of the most incompetently booked heels in the history of the sport.
I watched Triple H bury a young Randy Orton so badly that James Guttman had to dedicate nearly an entire chapter of his first book to how badly RKO got screwed in his first Main Event Push.
I've even managed to sit and watch 8 years of TNA get almost everything wrong in terms of building a new company, cultivating an audience, and creating new stars, and the list just goes on, and on, and on, and on!
I really don't know what to say anymore.
I really don't.
I want to like TNA.
I really do.
Most of my favorite wrestlers today work for TNA, or have at some point in the recent past.
I even think that, with some decent management, TNA could turn around and still manage to succeed, eventually.
But then I see things like I saw tonight, and every hope that the time and money I've spent supporting TNA wasn't being wasted is dashed.
Look – 8 months ago, I didn't bother with Ring of Honor.
I didn't own a single SHIMMER DVD (despite being a HUGE Women's Wrestling fan).
I hardly watched WWE at all, and if I had a DVD from another independent promotion, it's because I found it for dirt cheap, and it featured TNA stars like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, and Kazarian.
Since Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff came to TNA and laid to waste every last remnant of anything I may have ever remotely liked about TNA, I've felt I had no choice but to seek out alternatives.
When you raped and pillaged the Knockouts Division, I sought out SHIMMER.
When you let Christopher Daniels go, I followed him to Ring of Honor.
When you lost the six-sided ring, I started watching AAA on YouTube.
TNA has done more to make me a Ring of Honor fan than anything ROH could have ever done, and almost as much to make me the gigantic SHIMMER shill I am now!
My point is that for months, perhaps even years, TNA has done more to drive its fans away than any other company I have ever seen.
I have never, EVER, dealt with or seen a wrestling promotion do more for other people's business than I have seen with TNA.
Whether it's driving fans back to WWE, believing that a childish, immature product is better than nothing at all, or driving fans to ROH, or PWG, or any other number of Indy Promotions out there, TNA manages, by hook or crook, to drive more fans away than they pull in.
And hell, the few they do pull in, they just drive away months later when they go in another new direction.
It's insane, and I really don't know why the hell I bother with this crap.
I don't get it.
I really don't.
***** Mike Johns, imbued with special, shameless self-promotional powers the likes of which haven't been seen since the height of DX's self-fellatious babyface run in 2006, is a contributor to WorldWrestlingInsanity.com and ClubWWI.com, single-handedly responsible for WWI's coverage of All Things TNA.
In what spare time he has left, Mike produces and records original music under the name 'SaviorSelf.07.05.98' as well as remixes and mash-ups of far more popular songs under the name 'TMJ'.