"I know it just looks like a normal ring, but look.   If you pop up this cap here, there's heroin in there.   It takes the edge off."
- Hulk Hogan to Abyss

"The only way to show this douche that I haven't forgotten about him is to burn his brother.   That's it.   It's decided.   Now listen here, buddy.   My name is Pete Rose and when I tell you to turn the pyro on early - you turn it on early!"
- Pete Rose, Elimination Chamber

"Unfortunately, you were the project manager so Maria….you're fired.    Oh.   And I just got this note from Vince McMahon.   He says you're fired too."
- Donald Trump, The Apprentice later his season

"Why are you even here?   This place sucks.   Let's go kill ourselves."
- Carlito to his NXT trainee Michael Tarver

"I don't mind the dancing on the table, but I'm not really cool with whipping them out. "
- AJ Styles to Ric Flair, "Nature Boy Training" at Paddy's Pub


"Fine.   I admit it.   I killed WCW.   It was me the whole time.   MUWAHAHAHAHA!"
- Prince Iakua

"Dude.   I'm telling you.   Look at my head.   It all grew back.   Rub this stuff on your chin and you'll be Jesus by spring."
- Chavo Guerrero to CM Punk

"Yeah, but what does 'senate' mean?"
- Linda McMahon to Vince McMahon when deciding if she should run for Senate

"What?   A slap fight?   You got arrested for a slap fight?!   Fine.   I'll come bail you out."
- Christian

"IT'S A TV SHOW!   It's not REAL!   Bret Hart isn't here!   It was a pretend ambulance, you f**kin' moron!"
- Local Paramedics After Raw…before putting up the website disclaimer to not call

"Shawn.   You're obsessed.   It's ruined everything.   It's ruined DX.   It's ruined your career.   You have to listen to me, man.   You have to let it go.   Adam Lambert didn't win.   It's been like a year.   Move on, man.   Now come on.   Let's get to Raw."
- Triple H

"Yes.   I'll be there.   Wait.   No I won't.   Ha ha.   F**k you!"
- The Ultimate Warrior responding to WWE's Hall of Fame request

"So the bad news is they call me 'fat' on TV.   The good news is that I can eat all the Twinkies I want until the storyline ends."
- Mickie James

"Oh.   I thought he was actually black.   We're looking for another rap gimmick.   NEXT!"
- Vince McMahon after seeing a scouting video of ROH Champ Tyler Black

"Hey.   Is this Awesome Kong?   Hey.   How about I suckerpunch you until you can't breathe anymore?   Huh?   You better watch your back, bitch!"
- Don West doing an impression of Bubba The Love Sponge on the phone at 5am

"Haha!   Don, you're awesome!   That was hilarious.   Here.   Take another hit off this ring."
- Abyss, 5:15am