As any Long Island native can tell you, there's no name more associated with our area than Billy Joel (JG Note: Except maybe Joey Buttafuoco). As closing time approaches at local bars, Piano Man is played from the DJ booth while we all stagger around in a drunken haze and sing along with the anthem of good cheer. But the one piece of work that always impressed me about Billy was "We Didn't Start the Fire." A sort of musical history of our society, this tune could be enjoyed by everyone and offer a walk down memory lane in many respects. Because of this, I've wanted to do my take on this song with a sports entertainment theme for quite some time. This week I've set out to do just that. Keep in mind that just as the original didn't have the space to fit every great contributor and event in history, this rendition is no different. There were many other moments and entertainers that warranted a mention, but space limitation prevented it. Just because your favorite wrestler or memory isn't included, doesn't mean that they had any less of an impact on our industry. I hope you enjoy it.

We Don't Expose the Business by James Guttman
A Song Parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel
Follow Along With The Original Song, Video, and Lyrics by Clicking Here


Ted Turner, Vince McMahon, "I respect you, Booker man"
Ricky Steamboat, Randy Savage, Eddie Guerrero

Toothless Benoit, huge "What" Chants, Barry Windham, Breast Implants
Tony Garea, the Coach and Lita, Keiji Muto

Goldberg, Adam Bomb, Stevie Ray, Bagwell's Mom
Mantaur, The King and Ross, Sandman hung up on a cross,

Bart crushed by Butterbean, Jeff Hardy's painted green,
Mr. Fuji, Liberace, Santana's a good guy,

We don't expose the business
'fore the net existed,
Vince said it's scripted
We don't expose the business
If Vince doesn't hide it,
Then why can't I write it?

The Iron Sheik, Volkoff, FedEx sent from Bischoff
Dave Meltzer, Wade Keller, 123... X-Pac

Steph's grown, Parts Unknown, Blue Meanie, Scot Hall's Ramon,
Mean Gene, Beach Brawl, Brock defeats the Rock

Smackdown, Badstreet, No one's watching Sunday Heat
David Crockett, Big Boss Man, Eddie Gilbert, Larryland

Strongbow, Raven's Nest, Bigelow and Khrushchev
Harley Race, Beefcake's Face, Undertaker's druids

We don't expose the business
'fore the net existed,
Vince said it's scripted
We don't expose the business
If Vince doesn't hide it,
Then why can't I write it?

Crotch Chops, Cactus Jack, A.J. Styles, Hardcore Hak
Reverend Slick, Kaientai, Embry beats P.Y. Chu Hi

Reborn Shawn, Austin's Ball, Malice used to be The Wall,
Steph's the Taker's Bride, Al Wilson (sorta) died

Molly Holly, Piper's Pit, Snuka, Roster Split
Red Rooster, Maestro, Stone Cold is a no-show
Too Cool, the L.O.D., Goldust and Booker T
TNA, the Big Show, Cornette in Ohio

We don't expose the business
'fore the net existed,
Vince said it's scripted
We don't expose the business
If Vince doesn't hide it,
Then why can't I write it?

PTC, Blackman, Fozzy is a strange band
Killings, Berlyn, poorly booked Invasion

Sabu of Arabia, sick of Hulkamania
Tolos, Whippleman, accusers against Patterson

Kurt Angle, DX, Bischoff and the Gold Club sex
Katie Vick made me sick, who the hell thought up that skit?

We don't expose the business
'fore the net existed,
Vince said it was scripted
We don't expose the business
If Vince doesn't hide it,
Then why can't I write it?

Michael Cole, Horsemen, Vince Russo back again
Arn's spot, Rock and Sock, Viacom dumps Stock
Jazz, Tazz, Mankind, Greg the Hammer Valentine
Gordy/Williams in Japan, Anger of the Z-Man

New World Order, K1, Pride, Lucha Libra, Ric Flair cried
Heyman's debts, Goldberg's pets, Sting, Edge, Bret screwed Bret
Philly fans demand hardcore, Chyna can't use the name no more
Lionel Tate, the Monday Wars, Who's still watching anymore?

We don't expose the business
But when the fans are gone
Who will they blame it on, and on, and on, and on...