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The Jamie Kennedy Experiment: WWE Enters The Dragon and Sting Today, Gone Tomorrow

By Jamie Kennedy
Aug 30, 2009 - 6:40 PM


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Well well well. I've survived here long enough to bring you the 'lucky' 13th edition of “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment” huh? Whodda thunk it Cole? And aside from bringing you terrible jokes each and every week, I also love quoting 'The Tazz'. Last week on this, the shortest running weekly episodic wrestling article, I gave my much sought after views on several subjects within the pro wrestling universe. We, as brothers and sisters, looked at Kurt Angle and his career options while Jeff Jarrett makes "awesometime" with his ex wife and we also had a sneaky little peak at one Jeff Hardy. This week, I'll be careering off into yet more tangents in hope of finding a way to not only entertain myself but all of you!

Bryan Danielson has signed a WWE contract

 

 
 

 

To be honest, I've had a rather hectic weekend musically speaking and hadn't heard this one until this very eve! One of my best buddies informed me in a rather excited tone that yes, he had heard “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson had signed a World Wrestling Entertainment contract.

Initially I was very cold and negative about this eventuality but having had an hour or so to mull things over, there is no reason why Mr. Danielson cannot make it in the land of the big bucks. After years of toiling away on the indie scene and having a very successful time doing it, Dragon has went about securing his spot on the biggest wrestling stage the 'right way'. He will certainly (or should certainly) have some respect amongst his peers in the WWE locker-room for the hard work he has put in over the years in carving out a niche for himself as a consistent show-stealer. Of course, very few of us are lucky enough to actually know what the attitude towards a new guy is like in the backstage areas of the 'E' but I can't imagine the man will get much hassle at all. He seems to be well liked by a large majority of wrestlers I have heard speaking about him and we all know he can get it done in the ring.

One thing which might work against good ol' BD is that he doesn't possess the gargantuan size which is typically associated with a WWE main event level star. Of course, this argument comes up everytime the company sign somebody under 275lbs but if there is one thing we have learned, it's that Vince McMahon loves huge guys and huge characters. Larger than life with an ability to connect with the paying audience would seem to just about cover it. In saying this however, said friend also made a very valid point CM Punk is now an established main event level performer in the largest wrestling company on the planet. He, like Danielson, worked his ass off in the independents for many years before getting his big break. Mr. Dragon, much like Punk, has also competed in many 'preliminary' WWF/WWE TV bouts in which he has played the role of the jobber, no doubt giving him an essential look in behind the scenes of the McMahon empire. So long as they don't bring him in and call him “Fred Darnwall” I think we'll be ok. Poor Chris Harris, some guys just never catch a break. The very best of luck to Bryan Danielson, this writer would love to see somebody with his passion, drive and dedication make it big. Fingers firmly crossed.

 

TNA handing out Sting masks outside of WWE Summerslam event

 

 
 

 

Oh those Tennessee/Florida based bitches! This is aggressive 'competition' at its very finest my friends. A sure sign that TNA wrestling fancies itself as a bit of a rival to the WWE (seems like a rather obvious statement but I'm not sure the McMahons are exactly sweating about what's going down at the iMPACT! Zone every week).

Of course, this is all down to that magical poster which has been doing the rounds. I'm not sure if it's legit but if it's not then we have some people who should be hired to make promotional posters TNA in our midst.. The poster is an advertisement for the October Pay-Per-View “Bound For Glory” and features Sting as the centrepiece, with the words “The Final Curtain?” prominently displayed above his head. The thought of Sting retiring without me seeing him wrestle The Undertaker at Wrestlemania makes me feel sick quite frankly but ignoring my personal feelings, if Sting can retire as one of the only remaining big stars in wrestling who has never worked for WWF/WWE then he has created a legacy for himself to be remembered by. Of course the guy will already go down in grappling legend for his NWA/WCW days but being one of the only major players from that particular company to turn down Vinces millions leaves a bigger impression than that set by a Scott Steiner, DDP or Booker T.

The one question I have for TNA wrestling is how do they end such an excellent career such as 'the Stingers' without it being one big letdown? Is there one match the promotion of capable of putting on which would leave a lasting impression akin to Ric Flairs 'final bout' against one Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 24? I'm not so sure. Sting vs. Kurt Angle? It's been done a thousand times. The same could be said if we replaced “The Olympic Machine” with Kevin Nash, Steiner, Booker T or even AJ Styles or Samoa Joe. They're really going to have to come up with something which is special in the eyes of the fans in order to correctly end the career of a wrestling phenomenon such as Sting. Personally, I just don't see what it can be. Again, fingers and toes crossed than the writers can pull the proverbial rabbit out of the hat and surprise me! I like surprises.

 

Next week I'll be looking at more random titbits from the world of professional wrestling. I hope you enjoyed this little article as much as I enjoyed writing it. I beg TNA to sign The Undertaker to a $11 million per year contract just so I can see them go at it on a Pay-Per-View. Vince Russo, if you make this happen I will personally and legally declare you as God. Until next week, TAKE IT HOME!

 


Jamie Kennedy
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Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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