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The Jamie Kennedy Experiment: Wrestling Videogames Part 1 - Push B To Call Hogan a Baldie

By Jamie Kennedy
Sep 27, 2009 - 9:44 AM


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This October will mark the 11th game in the “WWF/WWE Smackdown” videogame series. It's a line of games which has consistently been the best professional wrestling gaming experience out there for many a year and has sold in vast quantities every annum since the year 2000. No wrestling computer games have been lauded so highly nor criticised so regularly since their inception, it's a procession of controversy for many a fan. Some love it, others hate it (and long for the days of “No Mercy” on the N64 game console). Personally, this writer has always been a big fan.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday, running home from school like a, well...like a schoolboy and finding a copy of “WWF Smackdown!” in my bedroom staring up at me with a smile which promised virtual bodyslams and countless show-stealing headline performances at Wrestlemania. The month was May, the year was 2000. I had been waiting for this moment for quite some time eagerly badgering my mother to purchase me a copy if I stuck in with my coursework and relentlessly reading articles about the game in magazines over and over again. Of course I'd played such games as “WWF In Your House” (which was more like a comedy version of Mortal Kombat than a grappling game), “WWF Warzone” (which promised so much yet still felt oddly tame) and “WWF Attitude” (which captivated a young Jamie Kennedy into creating his own Pay-Per-View cards and playing them out quickly, complete with his own commentary) but something always seemed to be missing. If the games weren't extremely light on actual wrestling, they encouraged you to press a 24 button combination simply to execute a clothesline! All this was about to change however, “WWF Smackdown” had a revolutionary new control system and best of all, a STORY MODE which would allow you to play out the career of your favourite wrestling superstars! It all seemed to good to be true.

When I popped that sexy little disc into my Playstation system, I felt a nervous tingle of excitement creep up my young spine. Boy oh boy! I was going to get to chokeslam The Big Show at Summerslam and win the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Title with The Undertaker. It was possible to drop “The Peoples Elbow” onto Triple H on “RAW is WAR” before raising an eyebrow and sending the sell-out crowd loopy. I could make Paul Bearer the World Wrestling Federation Women's Champion!!! Ok wait...WAIT! Let's back up a little bit here, let's not lose the childlike magic of the moment.. Yes the option was accessible to make 'Takers overweight shrieking MALE manager the champion of the companies only female division, but I was willing to overlook this little discrepancy and get onto guiding “Stone Cold” Steve Austin to winning every available title in the game.

If I thought the first Smackdown game really changed the way I looked at wrestling videogames, I was in for a major kick up the Kennedy backside by the time November of the same year rolled around and THQ/Yukes gave birth to “WWF Smackdown 2!: Know Your Role!” right onto my doorstep. This was even better, the story mode had actual angles which had played out on WWF television. Steve Austin was actually destroying the DX Express in virtual living colour right on my TV screen! This game was where it all started for me, this is where for the next couple of years I actually became more of a geek than I had ever thought attainable. Yes, this is where I actually started “working the game”.

What does that mean fool?” I hear you cry out loud as you mercilessly hammer any given member of the games rosters with yet another Pedigree through the announce desk. Dear readers, what I mean by this may lose me the little self respect I ever had but, I shall tell you. I began actually allowing the computer to do moves on me in such a manner that I could make the matches I was PLAYING ON MY PLAYSTATION appear to be more realistic.

Now let me relax here for a second, I've just divulged to all of you cool men and women that I am actually a bigger sadcase than Herman the balding pizza delivery boy who still lives with his parents and thinks World of Warcraft is a viable way to pick up women. Coming out with such a thing is not easy, I need a minute to collect myself and prepare to explain why I actually did this (and still sometimes do) night in and night out.

Oh man..

** slaps face repeatedly **

Ok, here we go. I'm ready.. 

I did this because I am a major fan of wrestling. Whether or not this makes me less sexy than The Iron Sheik popping one over a prone Hulk Hogan is really not the issue here. Getting a grappling videogame which looked awesome, had all the presentation down to a tee and had artificial intelligence clever enough to attack me when I didn't attack it seemed to be the bomb to a 13 year old kid. It's not that I didn't have friends, was slightly homicidal and would only leave the room for toilet breaks I merely loved the thought of putting on wrestling shows and copying what I was seeing on TV in a safe manner. So with all this in mind, I began booking my own shows. I would concoct storylines, feuds and matches for the characters in the Smackdown game series and actually 'book' RAW, Smackdown, Sunday Night Heat and all of the monthly Pay-Per-Views in real-time (for example, I would play out the RAW show on Monday nights and the Pay-Per-Views on Sunday nights lasting for the full 3 hours). It's just something that really appealed to me and it allowed me to let my creative juices flow. For years before these games, I had booked storylines myself using the trusty pen and paper keeping track of past shows. It was like a paper-based version of Adam Ryland's wildly popular “Extreme Warfare Revenge” amusements and in my view, no more or less nerdy.

I would like to point out that I (perhaps thankfully) don't have the time to do this any more and restrict myself to enjoying 'playing out' the matches in the modern-day story modes of the game series. Hey, it was better than drugs. Although I'm pretty darn sure a lot of you will disagree. Who are you to judge, crackie?

Last weeks anti-smart fan article afforded me a ton of praise and also heat via email from many of you. I'm expecting to be called a 'pansy', 'whoopsie' and 'loser' at least once before the week is out. Thank you for reading and look out for the column next week where I focus less on my nerd-tendancies and more on the upcoming “WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2010” game! TAKE IT HOME!


Write to Jamie at: jamiekennedy@live.com

 


Jamie Kennedy
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Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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