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The Jamie Kennedy Experiment: Smooth Talkers Part II - WWE's Next Big Promo Star

By Jamie Kennedy
Nov 1, 2009 - 10:37 AM


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Last week, we took a look together at the overall importance of being a good talker in the wrestling industry. Some examples were also brought into play such as Ric Flair and even Jim Ross as men who can help sell the product to fans simply by using their mouths. There is clearly no denying how pivotal having that 'gift of the gab' is when it comes to entertainment such as professional wrestling. As noted, it can also help those who do not possess obvious athleticism or indeed incredible in-ring skills. Men such as Jake “The Snake” Roberts have directly benefited from their superb promo ability. This week, I'd like to bring things up to date a little for some newer fans to the game in order to better get your imaginations working and to fully understand what exactly it is I'm going on about!

Talking is perhaps more important than ever in the wrestling business. If you take a look at World Wrestling Entertainment and Total Non-stop Action wrestling, the men sitting at the very top of the card all have some degree of ability on the mic. With X amount of televised hours to fill and monthly Pay-Per-View slots to hype up, that's a lot of talking. I want you to imagine all those John Cena's, Randy Orton's, Kurt Angles and Stings of this world. The main event players of both their respective companies. What I want you to do is imagine them completely blowing when they picked up a microphone. I'm talking REALLY sucking the life out of any given segment and making fans long for the 1999 WCW product to make a return (Yes, that bad..) “Fans would turn off wouldn't they?” I hear you cry! In this writers humble opinion you'd be very right! It would be really pretty damn difficult to invest any emotion into a storyline if the men and women who were supposed to be selling it to you couldn't get the job done. Conceptualize (now there's a word!) if you will how totally different the landscape of this years Wrestlemania 25 event would have been if Shawn Michaels build-up to his match with The Undertaker had been delivered with all the grace of Mark Wahlberg spewing out his lines in the 2008 movie “The Happening”. Walhberg gave such wooden delivery of his lines that it was hard to buy what he was selling and lose yourself in the film. It's exactly the same with pro wrestling.

Without a doubt the pinnacle model in the modern era in terms of interview prowess would be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. As a side note, I usually refer to him by his real name nowadays due to being impressed by the career he has carved out for himself in the acting profession. Professional wrestling is an industry often frowned upon by other mainstream media forms and therefore it is often hard to understand just how well Mr. Johnson has done for himself in that field. He is a genuine, honest to god celebrity who has crossed over from the grappling universe into Hollywood. A large part of his success in the acting game is also what made him such a draw in the wrestling world, his charisma. When readying myself for the writing of this article, I looked back at a huge amount of footage of all the characters mentioned in both last weeks and this weeks columns. By far the one I focused most attention on was The Rock. His sheer understanding of how to hype an upcoming match or work an audience into a frenzy was quite stunning to watch. The man walked that fine line between comedy and being taken seriously, something which many have tried to capture themselves but have failed miserably since.

To think he went from being a generic, greenhorn babyface hanging around in the lower cards and just generally being viewed as an afterthought by everyone to selling out Wrestlemania and taking part in one of the highest grossing single matches in wrestling history (Wrestlemania 17 ”Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. The Rock) is nothing short of mind boggling. Clearly, he had it in him all along and it was merely the classic case of giving the man time to show it. There is no doubt in my mind that The Rock could be placed alongside Steve Austin as being the 2 most important members of the WWF roster during the “Attitude era”.

Taking things into an even more modern era, we have what some of you may see as a complete and utter surprise pick. This man may well prove to be overshadowed by the others involved here in years to come but he has shown me enough potential to say he has deserves to be included. He is “The Miz” and he...well, you know the rest. I can see some of you clicking away from this article at this point and wondering if I've lost my damn mind. The Miz!? Mike Mizanin!? REALLY!? Really? And when I'm quite done stealing the guys catchphrases I'll explain to you exactly why I decided to mention him. The Miz was, bluntly put, despised both by fans and apparently by many members of the WWE locker room. He was a laughing stock who most couldn't wait to see shunted out of the door, back to reality TV land where he belonged. Now however, he is a regarded piece of the WWE roster puzzle. Sitting pretty as the companies U.S Champion and even being given a mini-feud with poster-boy John Cena, stamps home just how highly the office view him now. Sure he was cakewalked in any actual matches the pair had but no matter, Miz did his winning during his allotted promo time on Monday Night RAW each and every week. Being allowed to trash talk the office's favourite performer is a very rare gift indeed. Much like earlier however, I want you to envisage just how much more the mini-rift between the 2 would have sucked if Miz blew on the microphone. Instead, he was a revelation and seemed to do nothing but thrive off the attention the young fans in the crowd gave him as he slagged off their hero. Of course, on the flipside, many fans have begun saying his “I'm The Miz...and I'm AWESOME!” line along with him and cheering after it has been said. The similarities in this respect to The Rock are unbelievable. “The Great One” was a heel who slowly but surely won over the WWF fan base with his electric vocal performances and his catchy phrases. Could this be the road Miz will thunder down? I'm not saying in 10 years from now people will be rushing out to the cinema to see Mike Mizanin's next blockbuster but in an era which craves new stars, The Miz is beginning to stand out. That is merely an opinion, one which may fill my inbox with hate mail but an opinion none the less.

As always, thanks for reading to my inane ramblings about the wrestling profession. Hope there are some of you out there who appreciate this column each and every week. Judging by the increasing amount of emails which agree and disagree with my viewpoints each time out, I'm guessing there are some regular readers. Talking is important in wrestling, not just for the product but for the fans. Feel free to talk to me and let me know what you think. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially if you're Kelly Kelly and wish to swap MSN contact details.. TAKE IT HOME! (And Kelly Kelly, take ME home!).


Jamie Kennedy
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Alphabetical Listing of Guests You Can Hear on...

A

Sivi Afi
Aaron Aguliera
Skandar Akbar
Brent Albright
Ole Anderson
Road Warrior Animal
Tony "T.L. Hopper" Anthony

B

Buff Bagwell
Doug Basham
Paul Bearer
Giant Bernard
Big Daddy V
Eric Bischoff
Steve Blackman
Brian Blair
Tully Blanchard
Nick Bockwinkel
"The Boogeyman" Marty Wright
Bad News Brown
D-Lo Brown
"Jumping" Jim Brunzell
Mike "Simon Dean" Bucci
Bull Buchanan

C

Lance Cade
Christian
John Cena Sr.
Chaz "Headbanger Mosh"
Bryan "Adam Bomb" Clark
Rob Conway
Jim Cornette

Justin Credible

D

D-Ray 3000
Scott D'Amore
Christopher Daniels
Shawn Daivari
Dangerous Danny Davis
Dawn Marie
Damian Demento
Colin Delaney
Brother Devon
Demolition Ax
Demolition Smash
Bill DeMott
Ted DiBiase
J.J. Dillon
Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore
Disco Inferno
Spike Dudley

Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Kenny Dykstra

E

Bobby Eaton
Paul Ellering

Armando Estrada

F

Manny Fernandez
Francine
Mr. Fuji
Dory Funk Jr.
Terry Funk

G

Greg Gagne
Ronnie Garvin
Jackie Gayda
Robert Gibson
Glacier
Sylvain Grenier
Tod Gordon
Zach Gowen
Juventud Guerrera

H

Chalie Haas
Chris Harris
Bruce Hart
Jimmy Hart
Diva Search's Jessica Hatch
Dave Hebner
Earl Hebner
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jon Heidenreich
Christy Hemme
Hillbilly Jim
Molly Holly
The Honky Tonk Man
Tim Horner
Scotty 2 Hotty
Sam Houston

Mr. Hughes


I

The Iron Sheik
Ivory

J

B.G. James
Jazz
Ahmed Johnson
Judge Jeff Jones
Orlando Jordan

K


Kamala
Kid Kash
Kevin Kelly
Pat "Simon Diamond" Kenney
Ron Killings
Cpl. Kirschner
Kizarny
Kevin Kleinrock
Brian Knobbs
Ivan Koloff

Nikita Koloff


L

Bobby Lashley
Bruno "Harvey Wippleman" Lauer
Jerry "The King" Lawler
"The Total Package" Lex Luger
Buschwhacker Luke

M

Rodney Mack
Magnum T.A.
Balls Mahoney
Dutch Mantell
Rick Martel
Clarence Mason
"Masterpiece" Chris Masters
Robbie McAllister
Rory McAllister
Matt Morgan
Ernest Miller
Missing Link
Father James Mitchell
Mo From Men on a Mission
Sean Mooney
Ricky Morton

Trevor Murdoch

N

Kevin Nash
Nidia

Nunzio

O

One Man Gang
Sonny Onoo
Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
Oscar From Men on a Mission
Fred "Typhoon/Tugboat/Shockmaster" Ottman
Pierre-Carl Ouellet

Outback Jack

P

Diamond Dallas Page
Ken Patera
Nick Patrick
Thunderbolt Patterson
Jim Powers
Tom Prichard
Ivan Putski

R

Harley Race
Baron Von Raschke
"The Yeti" Ron Reis
Rhino
Dustin Rhodes
Tommy Rich
Rikishi
Paul Roma
"Super Hero in Training" Rosie
Jacques Rougeau
Terri Runnels

Lance Russell


S

Samoa Joe
Bruno Sammartino
Samu
Tito Santana
Dan "The Beast" Severn
Ron Simmons
Elix Skipper
Slick
Tracey Smothers
Al Snow
Sim "Deuce" Snuka
Dennis Stamp
George "The Animal" Steele
Rick Steiner
Scott Steiner
Idol Stevens
The Stro
AJ Styles
Dave "Evad" Sullivan
Kevin Sullivan

T

Dave Taylor
Sylvester Terkay
ECW's Tiffany
Too Cold Scorpio

V

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jimmy Valiant
Johnny Valiant
Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Sid Vicious
Vito
Nikolai Volkoff


W

 

Y
David Young
Mae Young


Z

Larry Zybszko

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