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Mallory Celebrates St. Paddy's Day with Hornswoggle, Sheamus, Celebrity Apprentice, K-Fed, and Roddy Piper

By Mallory Mahling Mar 17, 2010 - 9:00 AM

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Virtual corned beef and coleslaw sandwiches for everybody!

And if ever there was a wrestling show that gives equal time to the Irish, it's Raw. You've got Hornswoggle the Leprechaun (who, if truth be told, is probably about as Irish as Paddy's Pig). And then you've got Sheamus the Celtic Warrior, as the champion. He has an authentic look with his bright red hair and lilting accent. The only thing he's missing is a pint of Guinness.  Come to think of it, maybe he should have offered Stone Cold a pint of Guinness on Monday night at Raw. 

* * *

With all eyes on "Celebrity Apprentice" Sunday night, "Cold Case Files" may have been overlooked. Why would that matter? Because Roddy Piper guest starred as an aging wrestler whose name came up during a cold case investigation. I won't spoil the plot in case you want to watch the rerun later this season, but it sounds like a good episode.

* * *

Speaking of "Celebrity Apprentice," Bill Goldberg, Maria Kanellis and Cyndi Lauper all spent the season's first episode selling pricey diner food to their rich friends. The men's team (led by Bandana Boy Bret Michaels) pulled out their Blackberries and started getting the message out to folks with big checkbooks. The women's team (led by Cyndi Lauper) couldn't seem to get out of their own way. It didn't help that the team members didn't play well together. The men's team won, which meant the women't team had to go to the dreaded boardroom, where stand-up comedienne Carol Leifer heard the words "YOU'RE FIRED." It's too bad, since she wasn't the weakest link, so to speak, but she was the biggest target of her fellow castmates.

Oh well, them's the breaks.

* * *

K-Fed became the Biggest Loser (in a good way) on "Celebrity Fit Club" this week. He and Jay Carroll ("Project Runway") have taken their dietary assignments seriously and, with three weeks to go, are hoping to reap the prizes that will go to the winning team.

Unfortunately, K-Fed and Jay seem to be the only ones who are taking the challenge seriously. Bobby Brown and Nicole Eggert, for example, have an excuse for every occasion. Nicole gained three pounds last week, but doesn't seem inclined to put down the wine bottle. That is not the way to impress Drill Sergeant Harvey.

Jay has tried to prod his teammates into staying on their diets, but his advice has fallen on deaf ears. If they don't want to be slim and trim and healthy, it's their loss, but Jay has his eyes on the prize at the end of the season. Can't say I blame him.

Too bad the prizes don't go to the players who lose the most weight, not the ones who ride the coattails of the more dedicated team members.

* * *

Thanks for reading and see ya next week.


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