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Couture's Championship Profiles: IGW Champion Curt Hennig
By James E. Couture
Oct 25, 2007 - 10:33 AM

Folks, it's the most overrated underdog since the Colorado Rockies, me, James E. Couture.  I don't know if you can tell this about me, but I like wrestling.  Also, I'm a cheap bastard.  Ergo, I like my wrestling media like I like my women: cheap and readily available.  Also, like women, I don't mind picking some up at Wal-Mart.  So when I saw "Rodman Down Under", I couldn't believe my eyes, first because it sounded like porn, and then because I realized it was just the latest installment in Wal-Mart's wrestling line of their crummy, smelly $1 DVD rack.  The folks over at WrestleCrap had thwarted my attempt at Profiling The Iron Sheik: Maccabeah Champion from Grand Masters of Wrestling by doing the whole DVD first, but they're not getting Curt Hennig, IGW Champion!

What the hell is IGW, you may ask?  It's iGeneration Wrestling, of course, some Australian outfit that further evidenced that if you want to start a wrestling organization in a post-WCW world, you really do need a retarded name, something along the lines of "Ring of Honor", "Wrestling Society X", or "Total Nonstop Action".  Another key tactic often used by upstarts is the hiring of olde tyme wrestlers, and IGW was no exception.  The matches on "Rodman Down Under" featured a veritable "Who's Dead?" of wrestling. The Legion of Doom, Public Enemy, other guys who are still (I think) alive, and of course, the person of interest, the late, great Curt Hennig.

Curt became IGW Champion with a defeat of....well, my good friends at the internet say IGW used to be Superstars of Wrestling, and Curt defeated Brutus "The Bourgeois" Beefcake to become SOW Champion.  Hmm.   Regardless, for some reason, Dennis Rodman magically appeared in Australia (probably visiting Luc Longley) and attacked Curt from behind, even disrupting the noblest of Australian traditions, the fake wrestling press conference.  After the vicious attack, the match was set: Rodman v. Hennig: This Time, It's Terrible.  It wouldn't be any match either, it would be an Australian Outback Match.  The ensuing Outback match was a sordid affair, involving the title belt, a table, and a broom.  Even though there were no disqualifications for weapons, once Rodman touched the referee, he was disqualified.  Obviously. And of course, Hennig would continue to reign as IGW Champion before losing to, let's say Steve Kerr.

Well, until they unveil Guitar Hero: WWE (Bret Hart! Ultimate Warrior! And 9 new songs by Motorhead!), I am, in fact, James E Couture.Future promoter of iNonstop Xtreme Society, or INXS.