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Couture's Championship Profiles: TNA X-Divsion Champion "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal
By James E. Couture
Sep 13, 2007 - 1:33 PM

Folks, it’s the promulgator of pugilistic prognostication, me, James E. Couture. Guys, I don’t know if you know this, but there’s this other wrestling show called T and A or TINA or something, and apparently they have their own championships, too. Not fake titles like the FTW Title or Cruiserweight Title, but real, honest to goodness goldage. After some careful research (both YouTube AND Wikipedia), I’ve managed to cobble together something about Jay Lethal, X-Division Champion!

Apparently, this Jay Lethal fellow used to be a regular ol’ wrestler, running in the hamster wheel of TNA’s X-Division, which usually consists of:

1. Team with fellow X-Division guy in clusterfudge “1st Ever Party All The Time Tag Team Battle Royal” on iMpacT!

2. Lose some matches

3. Face 3 or 4 other X-Division guys, including partner in clusterfudge “1st Ever X-Plination Not Necessary Match” at Bound for Justice.

4. Break up with partner, feud all over IMpAct!

5. Repeat

After seeing these young guns spinning their wheels, or running in them, whatever, Kevin Nash, or “Super Shredder George Lucas” as he’s sometimes known, decided to rub off of these young guys. One of these wacky series of skits was the Paparazzi Championship Series, which introduced us to Jay’s unseen talent: talking like the Macho Man. Since what was good once is even better when you do it on a smaller scale (like, uh, the Godzilla cartoon series, or…those mash-ups of Cabbage Patch Kids and Bratz?), Jay Lethal was rechristened “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal. I was hoping he’d channel some of Steve Blackman’s charisma and be “Jay Lethal Weapon” Steve Black Man. Either way, with history beckoning the would-be Macho Man, he and Chris “White Dragon” Sabin climbed into the ring like warriors, and after a match the likes of which had not been seen since Hard impACT! 2007, Jay Lethal finally had some gold to call his own.

Would he go on to emulate the career of his apparent idol, holding his championship for a year, much as Randy Savage did with both the Intercontinental and World Wrestling Efederation Championships? Nope. He held it for a couple of days before losing it Samoa Joe who pinned Chris Sabin in a triple threat match so that Kurt Angle could have, to ooze some regular machismo, “all de gold”. Still, he wore tassels and said “ooh yeah”. And yet somehow people manage to pull themselves away from the TV screen when IMPACt!’s on.

Well, until Brian Kendrick weighs 400 pounds, I am, in fact, James E. Couture.

And, to rip off an ESPN fave of mine, Pardon The Interruption, with a dash of Jim Rome, it’s a Toss Up:

Which is more head spinning: Adam “PacMan” Jones “making it rain” as Tag Team Champion, or Brett Favre beating the Philadelphia Eagles at age 128? Would you tell me, please?