But we start with William Regal. The current Raw General Manager was, at that time, a lowly Tag Team Champion, along with Lance “Wildfire” Storm, thanks to a defeat of the aforementioned Dudz. This victory was due, in part, to Queef Morley’s heavy anti-Dudley agenda. Indeed, these Dudleyz could do no right in his eyes, and so Morley was forced to get the titles on “The Kings of Stern Expressions”, Storm and Regal, by any means necessary, and that he did. Things were fine until a lethal combination, well, not lethal, but a combination of a “heart condition” (thanks, Wikipedia), an “injury” (thanks, WWE.com), and my diagnosis, an onset of Lazy Ass Syndrome (oh, boo hoo, I have a heart condition. I had three heart attacks this morning and I’m fine) forced Willy Reegs to forfeit the gold men like Los Boricquas and The Rougeau Brothers only dared dream of holding. We needed new Tag Team Champions.

Morley, using his vast limited-to-tag-team-division power, made himself Tag Team Champion. All those years of toiling; D-Lo Brown with his chest protector, shoving Mr. Rocko down his pants, piledriving Chyna, all of it seemed to be leading up to this moment, where he finally said “Hey guys, I’m Tag Team Champion now”. There was nothing to stand in his way.

Except for the fact that he was Tag Team Champion. Despite having that sweet, sweet gold around his waist, Morley and Storm, The New Fantastics, were bumped from WrestleMania 19 and their scheduled defense against RVD and Kane, The New Gymini, took place on Heat. Somehow Storm and Morley were able to traverse the dangerous waters of the show where title changes never take place (don’t worry Crash Holly fans, I know about the Light Heavyweight Title) and retain their titles, thanks to a mighty elbow drop from the interfering Dudley Boyz. Oh yeah, The Dudleyz, once Chief Venis’ arch enemiez, were now his strongest alliez. Anyway, the next night on Raw, Chief and Lance were unable to make it two in a row, falling to Rob Van Dam and Kane in a triple threat elimination match also involving their allies/opponents the Dudleys. Sure, it had only been 7 days of Tag Team Championshippage for Morley, but a lifetime of memories for both of us Chief Morley fans. I’ll see ya at the meeting, Josh!

Well, until congress censures my radical leftwing baseball political action group, MoVaughn.org, I am, in fact, James E. Couture.

And seriously Val Venis, lose 10 pounds, I’m beggin’ ya.