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Couture's Championship Profiles: WWF European Champion Val Venis
By James E. Couture
Jul 19, 2007 - 9:59 AM

Folks, it's the inventor of the musical instrument known as the "slap tuba", me, James E. Couture. Now, I don't want to give too much of a spoiler away for this week's SmackDown!, but let's just say what I say next is kind of relevant. Edge can be injury prone. It was evident when he had to forfeit the Intercontinental Championship in 2004, and in 2002 when he had to pull out of defending his King of The Ring crown with a shoulder injury. That night Chris Jericho laid the beat down, and relented only when he was run off by The BIG Valbowski. But there was a time when Valbowski did more than run-ins, and heck, even won a match or two, under his real name, Valium W. Venis. Gosh, he was even a champion at one point. That's right, it's Val Venis, European Champion!

The year was 1999, when WWE was still at it's last real "hot" period. Part of the reason for that hotness was, of course, The British Bulldog wrestling in jeans and the best three man team ever, The Mean Street Posse. Having recently returned to the Ent, The Denim Bulldog returned to the title he, and only he, made pertinent, the European Champion. At Survivor Series 99 Team Bulldog, Davey Boy Smif and The Mean Street Posse, took on Team Etc., Venis, Steve Blackman, Gangrel, and a former Euro Champ in his own right, Mark Henry. After Team Etc. emerged victorious The Blue Jean Bulldog was embarassed, and had Venis breathing down his neck, in the metaphorical sense, not the Ryan Shamrock sense. In addition to Double V, the man Smith defeated, D-Lo Brown, was gunning for him as well.

"Since I'm a British wrestler, and we all hang out in one giant club, I can tell you that D-Lo and Val had Davey sodding mashed and itching to put a wallopping on those bloomin' sock-knocks."
        -Dave Taylor, "Sir Edmund Swanson's Fake British Slang Thesaurus", 2000

As the war raged on, WWE officials decided to make a veritable pugilistic Sheperd's Pie and throw them all in together at Armageddon 1999: Bossman's Revenge. After a match of truly European Championship proportions, a double pin was made on Bulldog. The combined weight of two arms was too much for the strongest man, pound for pound, in the WWE. Because Val was closer, he got the decision. It would be known as the Venis Proximity Decision, and never referenced again. We had a new European Champion.

Venis would bring the European Championship to heights not seen since the days of Midian. After dispensing of the always intimidating Gangrel on Jakked, Venis probably fought other guys too, on Heat and stuff. My own vague memories of all those years ago were that many weeks passed with Val as European Champ but not on the main shows. That would all change when he defended his gold against Kurt Angle on SmackDown! in February 2000. In his first big European Championship defense....he lost. In what was probably an event even more exciting than winning the Olympics, Kurt won the European Championship. The title reign that spanned two millenia was over.

Of course, Val would rebound, winning the Intercontinental Championship later in 2000, before slowly settling down to the "Heat Guy" role we see him in today.

Well, until Big Daddy V decides his pants are just too confining and wrestles only in black short shorts, I am, in fact, James E. Couture.

The Mean Street Posse: Heaven doesn't want them, it's too hot in Hell for sweater-vests.