Before I die, I want to come to the ring as Final Chapter.

For those of you who don’t know (*), Final Chapter was MPW’s monster heel. Inspired by Stampede Wrestling’s Jason the Terrible (who was in turn inspired by the Friday the 13^th series), Final Chapter came to the ring dressed in overalls and hockey mask to wreak havoc. The only man who had any control of him was our lead heel, Steve Rivers.

For months, the mystery surrounding Final Chapter was heavily featured at our shows. Who was he? What gave Rivers such a powerful hold over him? Could he be beaten, or even knocked off his feet?

We never found out.

One of the major players in the angle left the promotion (Aspiring indy bookers, take note: Introduce complex, long-term angles at your own peril)  and—with nothing to do—Final Chapter slid further and further down the card, until he ended up working as a ringside accomplice during Boris the Bruiser’s singles matches.

But it wasn’t Final Chapter’s Papa Shango-esque freefall from main event to opening match that makes this story special.

What makes Final Chapter interesting is that even from the beginning, he was never played by one guy.

Enough people have donned Final Chapter’s mask and overalls to start their own Facebook group (**): Massive Damage, Steve Rivers, Chi Chi Cruz, Wavell Starr, Big Jess, Heavy Metal, Chapel of the Dead Ringers…the list is endless.

And if the fans realized that the monster claw-slamming his way through our undercard ranks (***), morphed in size and build from show to show, they were too polite to say anything.

As  mentioned earlier, Final Chapter was originally booked as a main event wrestler. Chi Chi Cruz--a solid veteran who has one of the best wrestling minds I’ve ever met--was the original man behind the mask. Cruz’s greatest skill was giving Final Chapter a moveset and mannerisms that were completely different from the way the unmasked Cruz wrestled. You would never guess they were the same guy (****).

Once the angle was scuttled, Final Chapter floundered in limbo. With no real direction for the character, the wrestlers playing him began amusing themselves by putting their own spin on him.

Wavell Starr gave the formerly silent killer a loud growl which was perfected by Big Jess into a roar that combined the fearsomeness of a Scooby-Doo monster with the coherence of Kenny from South Park (*****). Steve Rivers gave him a ridiculous splay-fingered bear-swipe offence and--if that wasn’t enough--gave Final Chapter the habit of beating himself on the mask when he was frustrated, a mannerism that every other wrestler that played him adopted with gusto.

Somewhere along the way our monster heel became comic relief. He went from Jason in the Friday the 13^th to Cameron Diaz‘s mentally challenged brother in There‘s Something About Mary. We started with Kane and ended up with Eugene.

The capper? Final Chapter was more over as a comedy heel than he ever was as a main event monster.

Booking a wrestling angle isn’t like writing a novel. It’s more like running a game of Dungeons & Dragons, where your intricate plans are constantly undone when the players react in a completely unexpected way. In such cases, adaptability trumps creativity. And in wrestling, unlike D&D, you can’t rely on a few dice rolls to get you out of trouble.

Quite the challenge, huh? I know I’d like to try it. I don’t like to brag, but in my D&D days, I was a pretty good hand at putting together a dungeon. Booking sounds like a fun challenge.

But not as fun as dressing as Final Chapter. And while I don’t know if my dream will ever come true, I’m practicing my roar, just in case.

(*) Probably, everybody.

(**) “I Wrestled as Final Chapter and All I Got was Membership in this Lousy Facebook Group.”

(***) My favorite was a match in which Final Chapter manhandled a plucky little baby face. The match followed classic big man vs. little man psychology…except that due to casting problems our “plucky little babyface” was four inches taller and thirty pounds heavier than our “Monster heel.”

(****) Unless you were at the show where Final Chapter’s hood came off during a ringside brawl, revealing Chi Chi Cruz’s rather distinctive ponytail. Whoops.

(*****) My favorite Big Jess moment as Final Chapter came when he wasn’t even in the ring. One of the other wrestlers was cutting a promo in the ring. He said something to the effect of “This is Monster Pro Wrestling, where the monsters are…” Right on cue, Final Chapter’s distinctive “RAAARRRRH!!” came floating through the curtain from somewhere backstage to the amusement of the audience.